Yeti, if not appropriate please move it, but here is my thousand post joke.


The CIA had an opening for an
assassin. After all the background checks, interviews,
and testing were done, there were three finalists--two
men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men
to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must
know that you will follow your instructions, no matter
what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find
your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!" The man said,
"You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The
agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job.
Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took
the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about
five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his
eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent
said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and
go home." Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was
given instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun
and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after
another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the
walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened
slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat
from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks!" she
groused. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."...

Ha, ha! I am a guru now.

 

I'll let it slide for such a milestone........

Two canibals eating a clown, one says to the other, does this taste funny??

 

Well, now I have 364 completly useless posts:

A State Trooper stops an old farmer driving (of course) an old F350 dually full of manure. The trooper goes up to the farmer's window and starts telling him about exceeding the speed limit. All the while, the trooper's got flies swarming around his face. He swats them and curses and the old farmer tells him: "Them are horse's *** flies, Trooper." The trooper says "Oh, I see... hey wait a minute! are you calling me a horse's ***?" The farmer says "No sir, no way, no how! I have too much respect for the law enforcement profession!" He pauses for a moment and says "Sure is hard to fool 'em flies, though."

 

I had a really good one the other day but I forgot it. How about this--
A man decides to take his wife hunting. He positions her at the end of a clearing and says that he is going to the other side of the forest to flush the game her way. He tells her to shoot whatever she sees and then fire in the air to let him know. He takes off and is not a half mile away when he hears a shot followed by a few others in quick succesion. He walks back to find his wife holding a man at bay with her rifle. As he gets closer he can hear the man say," Fine lady, it's a dear. Can I get my saddle now?"

 

Maybe I can graduate from nebium?

 

Never! Speaking of state troopers....... A state trooper pulls over an elderly man and his wife. The mans wife is a bit hard of hearing. The trooper asks for the mans license. "What'd he say?" the old woman asks. "He asked for my license!"the man cries. "Where are you from?" the trooper asks. " New Jersey." The man replies. "mmm...I had the worst sex of my life in New Jersey." the trooper says. "What'd he say?!" the wife hollers. The man says," He says he knows you!"

 

Here is another useless bit of a rant.....

I hate all Von Dutch garbage wearing sheep...........
If I see one more person wearing a Von crap logo, I think I may vomit.
9 out of 10 of these pussie wannabes, don't even know who Kenny Howard was, let alone what he did......
Mass marketing to the sheep of the world is really starting to get to me.........

 

I finally got fed up with that and stopped some 17 or so chick in the mall and asked her if she even knew what Von Dutch was. She got a dumb look(or maybe it was normal) and told me she didn't. So I told her to take off the dang shirt. Her boyfriend got mad and started to give me some lip. But I walked away...I had made my point.....

 

By the way.....so this would upset you?

 

Useless post to boost my post count.

 

Now I guess I should sell my VD wallet....I really like the thing, but I got it a few years back, before poserville....









PICTURE REMOVED BECAUSE CWB WAS OFFENDED!!!!!!!

 

Ummm.. I do believe that violates our language guidelines.

 

How 'bout this one



or may be this one?