If anything I just wish I could sleep. I have DPSD (delayed sleep phase syndrome), basically my circadian rhythm is completely F'd from a normal person's in that I've been on so many different schedules in so many different time zones that my body no longer functions on a standard day-night schedule, it sleeps when it gets tired - sometimes. Most of the time I stare at the ceiling and end up running for days on 3-4 hours of sleep, like right now. Which may be where all this scattered brained gibberish is coming from, LOL.


Pal, forget all the acronyms and all the invented diseases that fill the disorder manual. The more diseases they invent, the more compensation they can throw at men who have simply served time.
Military service is harsh. You knew or should have known that before you enlisted. You have to examine your past and come to an honest internal assessment about whether you carried your problems into service or you service time caused them.
Your service traumas don't seem particularly damaging to me. I know guys who went through a lot worse and are laughably fine.
Like the guys say, get on the track and pound. PT. If you still feel victimhood and can't sleep, go to the VA. There is always a psychologist and shrink who will find your disorder in the manual and let you cry for compensation if that is what you want.
The VA is like a cancer cell, same philosophy. Fewer wars, less combat, more victims. Expand, expand. like the cancer cell. Growth for its own sake.
Go to a PTSD group at the VA with guys who have had metal thrown at them and tell the story of your trauma(s). Then come back in and give us their reaction.

Semper Fi

 

any update?

 

Geez this thread is old... I initially wrote it off from lack of response and such a long time ago.

Married, finally living together after far too many years apart, two kids started school and I'm employed in the field I wanted - industrial radiography.

Sleep is still an elusive beast, I refuse to do prescription meds for it and all the other 'softer' options flat out don't work after my three week stint and 3 month recovery from an overheated radiator exploding on me while active duty years ago. Melatonin and all that is worthless to me.

Things have swung around, still have some niggles here and there but across the board I'm in a much better place that I was when I made this post originally.

 

It is good...no great to read things are getting better......and not sleeping well I get that too.

 

Considering things were close knit and overall my family was very, very close including myself - no, it wasn't a pre-existing condition that I just chose to ignore. Family dinners multiple times a week, vacations together which we ENJOYED together, not tolerated. My family style and life was envied by many of my friends growing up. It's the time and distance away from them that led to it, which is something I anticipated, but not to such an extreme degree.

Yes, because death isn't particularly damaging I take it you've drowned and gotten to experience that lovely phenomenon plus the slight bit of abject terror associated with falling close to 90 feet in pitch black darkness at 0239 in the morning and slamming into the water... That was far worse than the IA tour, definitely takes the cake over waking up while the alarms are going off because the base is getting mortared and such in Afganistan. Fun thing about expeditionary squadrons. But yes, I'm absolutely bawling tears in buckets here because of it

I didn't come in here bitching about my service life and how damaging it was, I came to vent and express some frustration over once being a member of a close knit family and now having no place in it despite all efforts. I'm not some self entitled cry baby millennial. What I DO like doing is finding an underlying cause to an issue and solving it. PT vents the frustration and provides an outlet, it doesn't fix the problem that's CAUSING it now then does it?

I'll gladly have a conversation, but if your only purpose and intent is to come in here and throw some caveman ideology around and essentially pass everything off as my being a pansy *** who's looking for a scapegoat, then kindly get the hell out of my thread.

 

This is the third time I've had to retype what I've said. This will also be the last. Until you have been on the same ship as Matt or been on the same Blackhawk as me then stop and leave. You don't know what happened to him and you don't know what happened to me to deserve what I'm disabled for. The best part of serving is the brotherhood of other members and for some reason you Marines think you're so ****ing hard that anyone else that shows any weakness is flawed. You guys have more issues than playboy. Semper Fi? How about no.

 

Lets get one thing straight here and now: VETNET was created with great pain by some very good and understanding folks who felt that we deserved a place to go and share our service connected issues, not to be judged by anyone.

Do I have to define "service connected" for anyone? I will anyway! It's any issue that took place while you are on active duty, period.

Having said this, yes, the VA is an organization that's heavily abused and gridlocked by people who choose to abuse a poorly built system. Likewise, the VA serves some pretty messed up folks who need the services available and no one has the right to say otherwise.

So, share your issues, provide some insight, offer remedies, post links for assistance or just STFU and listen but don't judge, ever.

 

Glad to hear you are doing better. Don't be afraid to reach out again to the VA about your sleep issues if you feel that you need to. That's what the VA is there for...to support vets.

Also, don't worry about what someone else might think about you reaching out. No one can know exactly what you are dealing with unless they have walked in your shoes. Everyone deals with things in a different way, and that's ok.

The most important thing is to get the help you need. Good luck!

 

If the bold part is too difficult for people to follow, don't post here.

Stewart

 

Honestly? I've given up on trying to sort out what's going on with the sleep. It was a bit of an issue before the service and just got worse while I was in. I've never been a fan of hard meds, OTC stuff is alright however.

I found the magic happy place for it once... Exhausted after a day of Houston summer and working in the garage, showered and passed out at 1930. Ended up sleeping through til 0400 or so, and that night plus the next four months or so every single night I was out by 2300. Loved it. But that's gone, bleh.

I have pretty thick skin. I also like setting records straight as it were, and making sure the entire table is laid out if someone wants to go that way. I loathe presumptuous and pompous people in general, ones that talk down to others even more so. I had initially skimmed over his response as I didn't have the time to fully read it, but once I did it wasn't something I was willing to let go unchecked. Admittedly I had to edit myself several times and rephrase it to remain more objective, but still.

I do understand your point however, and for the most part what people think really tends to have little affect on me unless it's someone I respect, or they're family.

 

Good to hear back from the OP.
So you fell off a motorcycle, got a cold in the Gulf, then there was this third documentable explosion where you were blown somewhere.
And what about the mortar in Afghanistan? That was not on your original stressor complaint list.

Get hold of yourself. Life is tough, move on. If you don't like Marines, we understand. We don't like the world either.

Semper Fi

 

\

Tell us why you are disabled. Marines are hard for a reason, pal.

Semper Fi

 

Apparently y'all don't excel in the reading department either. Go back to post twenty (20, the two and the zero together like friends) and revisit the part where I said none of that was what I was wanting to discuss originally. It was some fun filler information. Yet you seem fixated on all the other stuff that's of no consequence, like a moth to a flame. Or a Marine to a crayon.

Thank God you're an Internet troll and not an actual productive member that is engaged in standing by his fellow service members, regardless of their branch. Otherwise that whole #22 Kill project would probably have an astronomically higher number. By the by, the majority percentage of that gawdawful number is comprised of your so called tough Marines.. Hard to be tough when your brothers and sisters fall into, what was it,... Oh yeah, victimhood. Lol. Perhaps your helpful information and recommendations would be better suited in a Marine-specific environment so you can tell them to get their **** together instead of, you know, self medication via suicide.

 

Locked until forum mod can address.

Stewart