~ No matter who you are, no matter how well (or NOT well) you live, your finances, or even if you eat well...

No matter how situated you may be (and some may have been solid gold - gone to hell - and come back) WHEREVER YOU ARE

HOWEVER COMFORTABLE OR WELL OFF YOU ARE

It isn't enough.

You still want to do something crazy, or at least;

That no one else has done

You know that feeling, don't you?

WHAT IS THAT!

~ I honestly ask you


Do you feel it?



~ as if your DNA was hardwired to try to go faster...

 

I know that feeling well. I'm not rich or successful or powerful. At times I think of things I should have done differently in my life or opportunities I should have taken. I have this inner voice telling me how I should be doing this and doing that to get ahead, and I feel as though I'm somehow "missing out" on something. But lately I feel as though maybe I have made some good choices in life after all. Maybe by doing things little by little instead of going into "all-out" mode I am accomplishing something. I'm 49 and like lots of guys my age, I've been taking stock in my life and measuring my choices. On the plus side, I have a job I like and my boss thinks highly of me. My wife is on the road to recovery from many surgeries in the past year and she's working as well. I'm not rich and never will be, but I don't owe so much money I lay awake at night worrying. I have a great son who is an honest to gawd joy to be around. Last weekend, we went to our hideout, a multi-owner private ranch in the middle of nowhere. Due to my weekday schedule, I'm an early riser and woke up a little after 6 am. My 11 year son woke up as well and we decided to leave my wife and his friend sleeping and take the dog for a walk. We hiked up to the upper part of the ranch property and sat under the flag poles on the deck and watched the sun come up. We talked quietly about what we did yesterday and what we would do today. Then we just sat there for a while and listened to nothing. I love those quiet moments in life and always have. Then, true to his nature, my son asked if we could hike up to the water tower and pee on it. So we did, even the dog like that one. Hopefully many years from now, my son will remember these times when he has kids of his own. So while I may not have any money in the bank to speak of, I may live in a smaller house than I'd like that always needs something and the bank might own the better half of my truck and house and I never did become a World Champion anything, I could have done worse than just doing what got my life to this point.

 

I know that feeling, I got told to not even bother graduating high school, I graduated honor society with a year of college. had my childhood romance stand me up at prom, got my AAS in automotive while working full time and competed in skills contest nationally for auto tech. I have worked for 4 (counting the GM/chrysler dealership i worked at when the first bail out passed - its one that got shut down- as 2) businesses that went bankrupt within the same 4 years, got my cdl and worked 7 seasonal jobs that allowed me to jump around the midwest. i'm about done with my tour of afghanistan where I work on electronics for CJSOTF.

I live debt free, after twice being so broke I was rationing raman and facing court charges for moneys I owed.

I have drove corvettes with 3 miles on them, autocrossed rx-8's, drove a truck that consistently weighed over 100k, I have slept in my pickup more times than I care to count, half the time passed out with nowhere to go. I have stood on mountains over 14k (and many more to go). when I get home I am starting in on my private pilot license. and yet next fall i'm back in school for mechanical engineering "so I can make something of myself" (more like so I can support my projects). I'm the first one that suggest to friends lets go somewhere and do something. I'm always pushing for more and more, but I can't ever decide what I'm after.

however, here is something I thought of the other day:

Goals In Life:
1: grow up
2: learn to be a man
3: teach someone else to be a man
4: die happy

and I honestly think that I'm somewhere between one and two.

 

Something 'wild'!?!?!?!?!?


Dutch, I'll tell ya-
I've done most of the things that I've always wanted to do, EXCEPT for the fact that I never served in the Military.

That is my one regret.
Now, I'm too old. Too 'beat up' (health-wise). Knees are shot. Bad back. Bad attitude.
I've found that as I get older, I don't 'take orders' very well, either.


Wild?????

I'd like to go on a horseback hunt, for bison. Two weeks. North Dakota or South Dakota. Montana. Wyoming.
.45-70 lashed to the saddle, in a scabbard.
(With a pack mule hauling my meds!) Ha!

 

Not sure how wild you'd call it, but I'd love to do something similar to Thoreau's Lake Walden experience. A cabin, some tools, and a gun for 6 months in the middle of nowhere.

 

^ I hated that book.

 

Hey Wolfie!
I can always count on finding a deep thinking thread from you.

I think the 'Wild' syndrome must be a man thing. I don't feel in least missing out on anything. I'm pretty content.
But as far as my BF, I can still see the little daring kid in him sometimes. He likes the fun guy stuff. I've got a couple of his bucket list items crossed off for him already.

 

As did I. But you gotta admit, it sounds like a nice experience.

 

oh, I completely agree. I was really excited about it before I read it, been big into survival and bushcraft since I read hatchet in 5th grade. but it was impossible to focus while reading walden.

I think NH-Hottie was right that it seems to affect guys more often than girls. Not easy to find a girl willing to march into the wilderness or go on last minute road trips!

 

That sounds awesome! I would love that! Ever since I have been to Yellow Stone, I have been saying I would love to vacation on a ranch. Be out in the middle of nowhere and just live the simple life, at least for a couple of months! I have never been able to go hunting but I did always look forward to dad bringing home a deer. I like bison better than deer, so even better!

 

Lucky for me, my English teacher hated it so much, she only made us read 2 pages

 

!

lucky! I read it, transferred schools, and had to read it again. we made class discussions bearable by discussing possibilities and evidence of Thoreau being mentally insane

 

It has actually been pretty peaceful out around the greywolf farm for several months...



But all of that is eventually going to change

The engine on the left is replacing the one on the right, in my 1/4 ton Ranger buggy... So I guess I've really got it bad, whatever it is.