The Safe for GNAC Joke Thread!!!
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,157
Likes: 4,149
From: Near Cal. Avenue
↑ ...Hands on face, slowly I turned, step by step, leaves by front door.
1974: Long hair
2004: Longing for hair
1974: KEGGERS
2004: EKG's
I saw one of those guys in a self-driving car the other day.
His hands were going in all different directions. His head
gyrating, his shoulders moving his whole torso in rotation.
Him fists punching paper bag motions. I thought, "He's
Talking to a passenger but there were none."
"Bat**** Crazy," conclusion then turning into a Waldo World.
1974: Long hair
2004: Longing for hair
1974: KEGGERS
2004: EKG's
I saw one of those guys in a self-driving car the other day.
His hands were going in all different directions. His head
gyrating, his shoulders moving his whole torso in rotation.
Him fists punching paper bag motions. I thought, "He's
Talking to a passenger but there were none."
"Bat**** Crazy," conclusion then turning into a Waldo World.
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,157
Likes: 4,149
From: Near Cal. Avenue
Dr. Phil gets on a train to go into New York City. His cabin also has a poor farmer in it.
To pass the time Dr. Phil decides to play a game with the guy. "I will ask you a question and
if you get it wrong, you have to pay me one dollar. Then you ask me a question and if I get it wrong,
you get ten dollars. You ask me a question first." The farmer thinks for a while.
"I know. What has three legs, takes ten hours to climb up a palm tree, and ten seconds to get back down?"
Dr. Phil thinks long and hard about the question. Finally, the train ride is coming to an end.
As it pulls into the station, Dr. Phil takes out ten dollars and gives it to the farmer.
"I don't know. What has three legs, takes ten hours to get up a palm tree and ten seconds to get back down?"
The farmer takes the ten dollars and puts it into his pocket. He then takes out one dollar and hands it to Dr. Phil.
"I don't know."
To pass the time Dr. Phil decides to play a game with the guy. "I will ask you a question and
if you get it wrong, you have to pay me one dollar. Then you ask me a question and if I get it wrong,
you get ten dollars. You ask me a question first." The farmer thinks for a while.
"I know. What has three legs, takes ten hours to climb up a palm tree, and ten seconds to get back down?"
Dr. Phil thinks long and hard about the question. Finally, the train ride is coming to an end.
As it pulls into the station, Dr. Phil takes out ten dollars and gives it to the farmer.
"I don't know. What has three legs, takes ten hours to get up a palm tree and ten seconds to get back down?"
The farmer takes the ten dollars and puts it into his pocket. He then takes out one dollar and hands it to Dr. Phil.
"I don't know."
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Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,157
Likes: 4,149
From: Near Cal. Avenue
A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane.
The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: "So, where y'all from?"
The girl from New York said: "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence."
The girl from Texas sat quietly for a few moments and then replied:
"So, where y'all from, BITCH?"
The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: "So, where y'all from?"
The girl from New York said: "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence."
The girl from Texas sat quietly for a few moments and then replied:
"So, where y'all from, BITCH?"
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,157
Likes: 4,149
From: Near Cal. Avenue
Joe's been drinking at his neighborhood bar all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing.
So Joe stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result.
He figured he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.
Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home.
When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom.
When he reached his bed, he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright,
but he quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
Joe was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, “So, you’ve been out drinking again!”
“What makes you say that?” he asked, putting on an innocent look.
“The Bartender called — you left your powerchair there again.”
So Joe stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result.
He figured he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.
Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home.
When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom.
When he reached his bed, he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright,
but he quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
Joe was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, “So, you’ve been out drinking again!”
“What makes you say that?” he asked, putting on an innocent look.
“The Bartender called — you left your powerchair there again.”
