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The Safe for GNAC Joke Thread!!!

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  #8161  
Old 10-19-2023 | 07:58 AM
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  #8162  
Old 10-19-2023 | 08:50 AM
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Old 10-19-2023 | 09:27 AM
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Old 10-19-2023 | 01:38 PM
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Getting old and forgetful !

.....I got out from the supermarket and looked for the key of my car. It was not in my pockets. I went back inside and searched among tomatoes, potatoes and all the shelves attentively but found nothing.

Suddenly I realized that it could be left inside the car and the car could be stolen. I ran rapidly to the car park and THE CAR DISAPPEARED!

I called the police and gave them my position, the description of the car, the license plate, etc., etc., and I confessed that I left the key inside.

Then I made the most difficult call.....to my wife.

Daaarling.....(my voice trembled) I left the key in the car and it's stolen!

There was la long silence.....then she screamed:

I drove you and dropped you at the supermarket before going to the hairdresser! MORON!

Not without embarrassment but happy, I said: How nice! So you're coming to pick me up?

She screamed again: I can't, idiot! I am in the Police station and I have to convince them that I didn't steal the car!
 
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Old 10-19-2023 | 01:40 PM
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  #8166  
Old 10-19-2023 | 01:43 PM
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A fancy lady on vacation took a stroll through the woods. Suddenly a little white duck, all covered with s#!t crossed her path.

"Oh, dear," the lady said, "come on, I'll clean you!" She took a Kleenex from her purse and whipped the duck clean. After finishing, she urged the duck away saying, "Be careful next time!"

She walked on and another duck, with s#!t all over it, crossed her way. Again she took out a Kleenex and cleaned the little duck. She warned this one as well and the duck took off. Soon after, she encountered a third duck with the same problem.

"Now I've had it!" She whined. "What have you all been doing?" And for the third time she acted like a Florence Nightingale and tended the duck.

She continued her stroll when suddenly she heard a voice from the bushes. "Hey, you, lady!" sounded a male voice in distress.

"Yes?" she replied.

"Do you have a Kleenex?"

"No, not anymore," she answered.

"Too bad. I guess I'll just have to use another duck."
 
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Old 10-19-2023 | 08:53 PM
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OMG! thas sick!
Knowing how it feels to know no toilet paper on the roll and pees all over the floor too!
 
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Old 10-19-2023 | 08:56 PM
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The center of a Toilet paper roll makes a great seed planter in the early spring.
 
  #8169  
Old 10-19-2023 | 09:07 PM
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  #8170  
Old 10-19-2023 | 10:51 PM
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Computer games are sort of a PITA.
 
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Old 10-20-2023 | 04:10 AM
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  #8172  
Old 10-20-2023 | 04:29 AM
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Old 10-20-2023 | 06:48 AM
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  #8174  
Old 10-20-2023 | 02:18 PM
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Ok. So most of my friends are nerds...



 
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Old 10-20-2023 | 02:23 PM
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I hate it when the neighborhood bear wants to have lunch on my Patio table.
 
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