COMPANY EMPLOYEE EVALUATIONS;

Ken has reached rock bottom and shows signs of starting to dig.
His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
The job completions average man hours continue to rise!

Karen's really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be.
Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a mother rat in a trap.
Nags and gnaws at every detail.

When Paul opens his mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
Should be held well be under his normal Pay Scale!
He has delusions of adequacy. Would get stuck over a Mud Puddle.

Shirly sets low personal standards and consistently fails to achieve them.
She should be transferred too (FAR-FAR AWAY) -- the sooner, the better.
This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

Phil entered the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't looking.
He's got a full six-pack but is missing the plastic thingy that holds it all together.
Basically, the gates are down, the lights are flashing but no train is a coming!

Nancy is a gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
If her brain was qualified to be taxed, she should get a rebate.
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, she gargles.

Kenny has a photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
He's about as bright as Alaska in December. Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.

Francis donated her brain to science before she was quite finished using it.
She most likely fell out of the Crib and landed on it. It's like she has two brains.
One is lost and the other is out looking for it.

Peter for sure fell out of his family tree, any dumber and he would have to be watered twice a week.
It's hard to believe that his beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.

Phillis, if one gives her a penny for her thoughts, you will get change back.
Standing close to her, one can hear the ocean. A vast expanse of dark space there.

 

 

The senior Senator dies after a prolonged illness. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the senator. "Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven." "I'm sorry but we have our rules," replies St. Peter.And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell.

The doors open, he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. Nearby are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is in evening attire and very happy to see him. They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy and who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that the time flies, before he realizes it, the senator has to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit Heaven." The next 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing.

They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. "Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity."
The senator reflects for a minute, then answers, "Well, I would never have said it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."

So, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to him and lays his arm on his neck.

"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a beautiful club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now there is only a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable."

The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!"

 

 

 

 

 

A friend in need is a pest.
The fool and his money stabilize the economy.
A donkey is a horse designed by a study team.

A day without sunshine is like night.
The disagreeable task is its own reward.
The fellow is not drunk as long as he doesn't fall off.  Don't use up cellular data watching it.

 

Thas what I thought was a gonna happen!

 

I had forgotten just how good the Super Dave clips were for something that had such an amateur feel.

 

Stupid comedy is great is a good thought! ..... Cellular data may be used watching some Video..