Pain, Pain, oh the Pain! ....
The Safe for GNAC Joke Thread!!!
Hotshot
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 11,950
Likes: 5,076
I remember visiting a dairy farm as a kid and being amazed at all of the things that happened there. One of the farm hands was milking a cow. He and the cow were being buzzed by a horse fly. The cow's tail was keeping it at bay toward the back of the cow (and occasionally nailing the cowhand who would respond in language most 8 year olds didn't understand) but when it got near the cow's head the cow was mostly powerless to stop it. All of a sudden the horse fly flew in the cow's ear! Well, the cow didn't flinch and the cowhand just kept on with his milking chores. About a minute or so later, that horse fly was floating in that bucket of milk! The cowhand explained it as "in one ear and out the udder".
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,177
Likes: 4,151
From: Near Cal. Avenue
After 35 years of marriage, Lil Johnny and Mrs. Lil Johnny need Marriage counseling.
"What's your problem?" asks the Counselor. Mrs. Lil Johnny goes into a tirade &
Lists every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.
On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved
and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.
Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist gets up,
walked around the desk and after asking the Mrs. Lil Johnny to stand, he embraced and
kissed her long and passionately as Lil Johnny watches - with a raised eyebrow.
Mrs. Lil Johnny shuts up and quietly sits down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to Lil Johnny and says, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do it?"
"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I golf."
"What's your problem?" asks the Counselor. Mrs. Lil Johnny goes into a tirade &
Lists every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.
On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved
and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.
Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist gets up,
walked around the desk and after asking the Mrs. Lil Johnny to stand, he embraced and
kissed her long and passionately as Lil Johnny watches - with a raised eyebrow.
Mrs. Lil Johnny shuts up and quietly sits down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to Lil Johnny and says, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do it?"
"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I golf."
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,177
Likes: 4,151
From: Near Cal. Avenue
I'm not a fan of spring cleaning.
Let's be honest, I'm not into summer,
fall, or winter cleaning either.
If I don't notice it, I don't care.
Hire it done is a great Slogan!
When it comes to Slogans, short, sweet & Cheap!
If you have a good plan, stick with it.
If you know someone who likes housework?
Send me their number so I can hire it done!
You know I like that plan with yardwork too!
Tell them to Call me I give a bonus after the works done.
Let's be honest, I'm not into summer,
fall, or winter cleaning either.
If I don't notice it, I don't care.
Hire it done is a great Slogan!
When it comes to Slogans, short, sweet & Cheap!
If you have a good plan, stick with it.
If you know someone who likes housework?
Send me their number so I can hire it done!
You know I like that plan with yardwork too!
Tell them to Call me I give a bonus after the works done.
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,177
Likes: 4,151
From: Near Cal. Avenue
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Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,177
Likes: 4,151
From: Near Cal. Avenue
FA CRYING OUT LOUD
Practice saying it like when you stub your toe, trip and fall.
Say Fa crying out loud when you hit your thumb with the Nail gun.
You're cursing up a stream due to anger, Just say, "Fa Crying out loud." instead.
Ya has a Flat and it's raining Cats.
IT WON'T BE LONG AND YOU WILL JUST ALWAYS SAY, "FA CRYING OUT LOUD"
Practice saying it like when you stub your toe, trip and fall.
Say Fa crying out loud when you hit your thumb with the Nail gun.
You're cursing up a stream due to anger, Just say, "Fa Crying out loud." instead.
Ya has a Flat and it's raining Cats.
IT WON'T BE LONG AND YOU WILL JUST ALWAYS SAY, "FA CRYING OUT LOUD"
