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The Safe for GNAC Joke Thread!!!

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Old Jan 9, 2023 | 06:04 AM
  #5266  
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Lawyer: Your Honor, my client is trapped inside a penny.
Judge: He's what?
Lawyer: He's in a cent.
 
Old Jan 9, 2023 | 06:06 AM
  #5267  
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^^^Groan worthy, big time, at least a dollar's worth?
 
Old Jan 9, 2023 | 07:21 AM
  #5268  
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Old Jan 9, 2023 | 07:21 AM
  #5269  
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Old Jan 9, 2023 | 08:48 AM
  #5270  
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No, I did NOT just butt-dial you! I've got a new smart phone and every time I yell "a$$whole" it calls you...
 
Old Jan 9, 2023 | 02:50 PM
  #5271  
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Lil Johnny comes home after a hard week at work,
tells his brunette wife Who is Pouring Wine,
fixing Steaks & Baked Potatoes, "I'm heading out
To the back porch," says Lil Johnny.
That porch covers half of the house!
Three hours later, Dinner is finished.

"It takes time, but it was easy." Says his Wife.
Her large open green eyes alluring with Makeup,
She then asks, "Do Plants feel Pain?"
 
Old Jan 9, 2023 | 02:57 PM
  #5272  
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An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.

'Fred,' he replies.

'Fred what?' the officer asks.

'Just Fred,' the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood, thinks he might just give the biker a break, and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.

The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.

The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'

The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me.' I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS. Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.

Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD. Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.'

The officer walked away in tears, laughing.
 
Old Jan 9, 2023 | 05:00 PM
  #5273  
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Old Jan 9, 2023 | 06:17 PM
  #5274  
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4 Hotties descend the steps of their Condos and leave,
Hot, mostly undressed, in 6" heels. Green eyed and
on a mission heading towards their local Bar!
Imagine the mayhem they intend to inflict this Thursday evening.
 
Old Jan 9, 2023 | 06:44 PM
  #5275  
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"An evil Atheist explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself: “Oh God, I’m screwed!!!!!.”

There is a ray of light from heaven and a voice booms out:
“No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you.
So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the living heck out of the chief.

As he stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 natives with a look of shock on their faces, Gods voice booms out again: “Okay ….. NOW you’re screwed.”
 
Old Jan 10, 2023 | 05:04 AM
  #5276  
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Old Jan 10, 2023 | 06:06 AM
  #5277  
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Old Jan 10, 2023 | 08:06 AM
  #5278  
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Old Jan 10, 2023 | 09:17 AM
  #5279  
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Old Jan 10, 2023 | 09:26 AM
  #5280  
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