The Safe for GNAC Joke Thread!!!
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 11,950
Likes: 5,076
An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind Marine thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind Marine thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,157
Likes: 4,149
From: Near Cal. Avenue
↑ the stupidest compliment to my mate award goes too! .....
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Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,157
Likes: 4,149
From: Near Cal. Avenue
Albert walks in to Dr. Lil Johnny's doctor's office for his yearly physical exam
as he has done the same time every year that the can remember.
Dr. Lil Johnny takes him through all of the motions, does the normal tests and
then leaves to get the results.
After about 15 minutes Dr. Lil Johnny returns with a very sad look on his face.
"Well Doc, what kind of shape am I in this time?" , Albert asks.
"Albert, I don't know what to say. The news is bad. Really bad." says Dr. Lil Johnny.
"What is it Doc?" asks Albert.
"I hate to have to give you such bad news.
I can't find the words to tell you.
I really don't know what to say."
Albert, being a strong man who appreciates straight talk,
tells Dr. Lil Johnny: "Ok, don't beat around the bush.
Tell me what you know. I can take it".
"Well", says Dr. Lil Johnny, "let me put it this way.
I think that you should go to Arkansas and
visit the hot springs there for a nice relaxing mud bath.
Spend some time soaking in the mud."
"Oh, so I need to relax a little bit, eh?
Will that cure me Dr. Lil Johnny?" asks Albert.
"No Albert, it won't cure you.
And it won't help you relax.
But as the mud dries it will help you
get used to being covered in dirt."
as he has done the same time every year that the can remember.
Dr. Lil Johnny takes him through all of the motions, does the normal tests and
then leaves to get the results.
After about 15 minutes Dr. Lil Johnny returns with a very sad look on his face.
"Well Doc, what kind of shape am I in this time?" , Albert asks.
"Albert, I don't know what to say. The news is bad. Really bad." says Dr. Lil Johnny.
"What is it Doc?" asks Albert.
"I hate to have to give you such bad news.
I can't find the words to tell you.
I really don't know what to say."
Albert, being a strong man who appreciates straight talk,
tells Dr. Lil Johnny: "Ok, don't beat around the bush.
Tell me what you know. I can take it".
"Well", says Dr. Lil Johnny, "let me put it this way.
I think that you should go to Arkansas and
visit the hot springs there for a nice relaxing mud bath.
Spend some time soaking in the mud."
"Oh, so I need to relax a little bit, eh?
Will that cure me Dr. Lil Johnny?" asks Albert.
"No Albert, it won't cure you.
And it won't help you relax.
But as the mud dries it will help you
get used to being covered in dirt."
