The Safe for GNAC Joke Thread!!!
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 158,421
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From: Greenfield, MA
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 11,950
Likes: 5,076
One of my high school friends, Scott, was quite the enterprising guy. He was one of the first people to figure out that 1 dollar bills could be modified to look like passable 20s. His mistake was that he started flashing a lot of money and what he'd bought with it. Sure enough, the feds caught up to him and he was sentenced to 20 years in federal prison. After a couple of years in the pokey, they started him on a vocational rehab program (fancy words for wood shop) where he showed a lot of natural talent. By year 3 he'd progressed from bird houses to furniture and cabinets and was the talk of the prison. The warden called Scott into his office and told him that he was being considered for a work release program. All Scott had to do was update the prison kitchen with new cabinets and counter tops and the warden would start the paperwork. Surprisingly, Scott declined. When the warden asked him why, Scott replied, "counter fitting is what got me in here in the first place!"
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,157
Likes: 4,149
From: Near Cal. Avenue
The explorer Lil Johnny is in the deepest Amazon Jungle &
suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives.
Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself,
"Oh Lord, I'm so screwed."
"No you are NOT Screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and
bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."
So Lil Johnny picks up the stone and
proceeds to bash the living crap out of the chief's head.
"Okay . . . NOW you're So Screwed!"
suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives.
Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself,
"Oh Lord, I'm so screwed."
"No you are NOT Screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and
bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."
So Lil Johnny picks up the stone and
proceeds to bash the living crap out of the chief's head.
"Okay . . . NOW you're So Screwed!"
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,157
Likes: 4,149
From: Near Cal. Avenue
She is caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car is covered with dents,
so she stops at the Body Repair shop close to her place.
The shop owner knows this Blond & he decides to have some fun.
He tells her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard and
all the dents will pop out.
Later her roommate rolls her eyes and says, ...
"HELLLLO" "You need to roll up the windows"
so she stops at the Body Repair shop close to her place.
The shop owner knows this Blond & he decides to have some fun.
He tells her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard and
all the dents will pop out.
Later her roommate rolls her eyes and says, ...
"HELLLLO" "You need to roll up the windows"
