Mornin' y'all.

 

Morning Y'all, Good luck at work today Mark.

 

Morning Jacob and Brandon, Any plans for the day?

 

Nope, just sit around bored at school.

 

Mornin' Folks. How 'bout a little humor? These are friggin' funny:

THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!!


FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly,
'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word...
he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf *****.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's *****'

THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon,
my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
'If you don't let me go! right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands
It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny,
so of course I checked my seven-month- old daughter, she was clean.
The realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No'.
I kept thinking 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident,
and I don't have any clothes with me.'
Then I said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'
'No,' he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that,
the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set,
but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

 

I'm used to the kids here having no school this wek for winter vacation.


That was pretty funny Joe Thanks for the laugh. I needed that this morning.

 

Morning all!

 

Jacob, you have school today? On Presidents Day? All the kids are out here for the day.

 

I was wondering if it was a bad weather makeup day,Some of NC schools are going today

 

That's a good thought Ray. I did not think of them doing that.

 

My daughter has school today. Nothing to do with the weather, either. They give them MLK day off, but not President's day. The more I think about that, the more I get pissed off. I have the day off, so do banks, PO, gov't offices, etc.... So should they.

 

We had school today.. but I skipped class this morning.. Still have class this afternoon though..

Morning All!!

 

Well a lot of the schools in my area switched holidays...they gave them off January 20th for the inauguration and now they have to go to school today...

 

More Rain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARG!

 

Nolan, are you building an Ark in your spare time?