Well i finally got the "talk" from the parents tonight, about them not wanting me to go to Arkansas. I understand where they are coming from, being parents that obviously care for their son more than i know. They only see the aspect of me driving 1100 miles one way, just for a transmission. Somehow they don't see the opportunity i will have to meet several of the FTE members i want to meet, plus the ability to stop at Smokin at the Smokies and be there, and to dyno, and to 1/4 mile. I plan on making this a week-long event, leave tuesday morning early, and drive one day to BTS and then spend the night in that area. Then come home saturday night after smokin in the smokies. Which leads me on to the next aspect of room, board and food. I have it planned out and i threw in a few hundred for good measure, and im estimating it will cost $1200, in fuel,($400) food, and boarding during the nights, just for the trip. Im not sleeping in my truck. I wanted to take someone along with me, and im figuring that out with him and ill see what happens. I defanitely don't want to do this alone.


Here is what i need, Your thoughts. Most of you are grown up, married and with children. You know what your kids mean to you, and you know what something as bad as your kids leaving and never returning home would do to you. What do you think about this? Mom is more worried than Dad about this, and i need to convince her more. She would feel better if dad went with me but that just isn't going to happen because that is prime time business season. I personally think i am mature enough and i think i can do this myself, it will help me grow too. However there is always that "what if something went wrong" and im stranded on the road, or if i get in an accident, die, etc. Please give me your thoughts, im going to show them this when it gets long enough and maybe they can see just how much this means to me. Its way more than a transmission.

 

Kris, you are obviously way more mature than your age reflects,(at least on here), I think you have a good head on your shoulders, and your Momma, and Daddy raised you to respect your elders. You seem to be resposible enough to help run the family buisness, and are trusted with very high dollar equipment. If you were my kid and I trusted the person going w/ you then I would say go for it, as long as there was a backup plan.

you mentioned dad could not go b/c its the busy season, do you think this could be a sticking point? Are you needed at work during those dates? (are you sure?) Make sure all responsibilities are covered and I am sure Mom and Dad will make the right decision. They are the people who know and love you the most.

 

well moms are moms we went through this with our 18 year old son!but he went to boot camp army!5 plus months wife was devestated!lol its just a mom thing!

 

Kris
From just chatting back and forth it's obvious you are more mature than most your age. I can see both sides. It was tough for me to let my kid ride the bus home and stay alone for the first time. If I wanted something bad enough be it at your age or now I would find a way. Most accidents happen close to home. You are more alert and aware when not in your safety zone. With the newer technology of cell phones you are just a phone call away.
One thing i will say if you go, be careful. I drove truck for many years, east to mid west including DC and Baltimore. Anything can happen, even at home. Don't trust anyone and your better off on the highway at night than in some city looking for your motel. Start your trip early in the morning every day and be at your motel before dark. I would drive at night with less traffic and rest during the day when you didn't have to worry about the weird people in the truck stops at night.

Good luck, have fun and be careful.
Kevin

 

Obviously you recognize your mom's concern; you're not just a major part of her life, you are her life. Most guys in your shoes would hardly even attempt to wrestle with this dilemma, they'd just go. The fact that you give a d*mn is yet another indicator of a well-adjusted upbringing. Frankly, even presenting it here for public cheers or ridicule displays a lot of character.

I would like to think that your folks appreciate the fact that this trip revolves around the one thing you are truly passionate about. It's not like you're following the Grateful Dead for a week or anything, you have a definitive purpose for the trip and plan to wring as much PowerStroke out of it as possible. You're certainly one of the most knowledgeable and respected users of this forum, but I'm positive you'd be a sponge on the trip and use it as an opportunity to learn even more.

Safe driving, no booze in the cab, you know what the rules should be...

Heck - maybe even get a GPS enabled cel phone so the folks can track you online.

I say take the trip (with their blessing) and use your head as you do here day in & day out.

 

Thank you all so far, so much for the input. You help me explain what i can't tell them.

 

Too bad we're no where in that area, or my we'd make a spot for you to help save a few bucks on the trip. I know its tough, as a parent though

 

Man, I don't know what to say about this. I don't have kids, but do remember being 17 and heading off places on my own. My parents were definately nervous, but after reminding them about how good of a job they did raising me and teaching me how to make smart decisions, they let me go. Not that they weren't nervous, but they have to let you go sometime.

Eventually, you'll move out on your own, and have to do things on your own. Wouldn't they rather you make a trip like this when they've still got the ability to assist you if you needed it? Plus, like Kevin said, with cell phones the way they are now, you're only a call away.

To make them feel better, try to set out a plan, a definite plan. Lay it out exactly where you'll be driving to each day, and exactly where you'll be staying. Set some times to periodically check in throughout the day. They're worried about you, and this could help with the feeling of being safe and secure. It may take a little work on your part, but if you really want to make the trip it's a small price to pay.

Edit: if it makes you feel any better, my Mom still calls to check on me after I take any kind of a road trip to be sure I'm safe...and I'm 27. But, I'm her only child, and she would be lost without me. I can understand the close relationship with your parents, especially mom.

 

Well, since I'm older than your parents It might be harder for me to relate to them than you. However, when I was your age my parents (and most others of that generation) worried most about their sons getting drafted and sent to Vietnam, which was a far more dangerous proposition than your carefully planned road trip. I could go on to list a number of "potential greater worries", but that wouldn't really address your mother's current one about your trip.

I don't mean to trivialize her concern, because your road trip would not be without some risk. It was only a few days ago that the unfortunate bus wreck in Atlanta with the baseball team was all over the news. I guess I could Google the NTSB statistics and calculate the probably of serious injury for a 1 ton pickup taking a 2.2K trip. I'm pretty sure that the numbers would show that your trip would be statistically safer than the ones my wife and I take on a regular basis with our 5th wheel in tow, and we've managed to avoid even a close call for the past 8 years.

Maybe citing the statistics that most accidents happen within 25 miles of home might help. Also point out that when someone does something that's a little more exciting than routine driving around town, they tend to be a little more stimulated and alert which reduces the likelihood of having an accident. Regarding concerns about getting stranded along the road, I'm sure there're plenty of FTE folks along the way that could lend a hand. I can take your pic in Somkin with my fancy camera, and email it to your mother so she can see you made it that far and are still doing ok. I guess I'm about out of ideas, I hope one of these is of help and you get to go.

 

Just thank God that you have parents that care that much about you. There are quite a few other kids out there who aren't as lucky as you.

Best thing I can say is explain everything to them the way you have here. If they still won't go for it, then it's best to honor their wishes.

 

Explain to them a back-up plan in case something goes wrong. Make sure you main plan is good, and your back up plan is just as well. You never know when something could happen, so you need to plan for them as well. I went through the same thing a couple years ago too, and i had a close to bulletproof back up plan in case something did go wrong and it worked, but i have not had to use the back up plan...yet.

 

Why not use the "buddy system"? It's foolish to hike alone, dive alone, ride alone, climb alone, hunt alone, fish alone, pretty much do anything where you could get in a world of hurt if you didn't have a friend watching your back.
I'm probably about the same age as your parents.
Your parents would be a LOT more relaxed about you heading off like that if you had a friend with you.

 

Kris,
As a father of two girls (18 & 14) maybe I can give you some advice. This sounds like the first time you are taking a trip away from home so take the time and thoroughly explain to your mom that its important for you to go because the BTS folks are taking the weak link of your truck and making it sound proof. Then explain to her that the Smokin in the smokies is not a big party but other people (like yourself) are getting together to share more knowledge about diesels in general and you are going to test your truck to make sure it is running top notch. Make your plans ahead of time such as: where to stay, how many miles of driving a day and make some reservations. Also take $50.00 and join a program like AAA or some road service company. That will take away her fear of you being broken down in the middle of nowhere with no help at all. Also let her know that you will call her once a day when you get settled after a day of driving. Tell her you love her and let her know that she brought you up right (ask anyone on here that you have helped) and that you believe that this trip is needed. Ask for her blessing and give her a great big hug. If that doesn't work bring her on here and let her read all these great messages about you. Its hard for a parent to let their kids grow up but if its done the right way it will make it easier on them and you. They are not worried about the way you act but just that they cannot be there for you when you are that far away and that they will not know where you are or what is going on (hence the phone calls in the evening so they can sleep). Hope this helps. Have a great trip!!!!!!

 

I can totally understand your parents position in all of this. They want to (and it's their job) protect as best they can. Still, you are one of the brightest and most mature 18 years olds that I have ever dealt with in my life. I wish I could hire about six guys just like you to work for me at the plant. My life would be so much easier.

Just sit down and explain that this is something that you really think will help you grow as a mechanic and a person. It's also a great chance to network with some people that have a vast amount of knowledge in regards to diesels and they way that they operate. These people that you meet and network with now can help you later on down the road with your career. I know from experience. Meet people, learn from them and build your network of resources.

The buddy system is a great idea too. There is always safety in numbers.

I have three kids, 10 (boy), 13 (girl) and 18 (girl). The 18 year old is just about to graduate high school and will be starting college next fall. I too have a really hard time letting go and letting her do her own thing but at the end of the day I realize that I have to let her spread her wings and fly. I still keep a watchful eye though and this is what your parents are doing also.

To Kris's parents... You guys have done a fine job. I have every confidence that your son will excel in any career that he chooses to go into and he will do well in life. That is all because of the way that you raised and taught him. My hat is off to you.

 

Kris,

One, more thing, It hasn't been said yet and I hate to even say it, b/c I think you are more level headed than most 18 y.o.'s. If Mom and Dad Say NO, then please respect their decision, and do not take off half cocked and go anyway, you will just hurt your mother and father, and all of us here who have spoken for you.
BD