Jen: I am somewhat out of my element here but your post is a poinent reminder of my more youthful days. Lets just say I am old enough to be your father so I will keep my input in those particular intonations.

I can only know you by your posts,of which I have seen a few. I appreciate your youthful and very candid insights with regard to the situations you relate to us here at FTE. Please do not lose your candor. It is very refreshing.

The situation with regard to the guys and their "staring" probably tells you volumes about their inability to relate maturely in a social situation. Perhaps they create awkward situations in order create defense mechanisms to hide their self perceived short commings. Whatever the reasons, you can always diffuse those situations by taking charge and redirecting the conversations where you think they should go. It is as easy as leading the klutzy dancers to stay off your toes. Be a leader and a director, take charge. They will love it and admire you for it.

It does not matter where you meet these guys. Although clubs that serve alcohol tend to get raunchier as the evening progresses.
Keep your wits about you and be ever vigiliant against the drugs that can be slipped into your glass. If you find a guy like the one you invited over to the table, and actually danced with, then try to redirect his amourous advances by asking him what his rush is? Slyly tell him the fun is in the chase. This promises nothing but gets him stirring. Don't tease him, that is cruel. Just be playful. Keep it light. If he tells you "you are hot", tell HIM to take a cold shower!

I hope you follow my meanings here. I met some of my best friends, both male and female, in the college campus setting. This is an intellectual enviornment that promotes intelligence and attempts to form social responsibility for ones actions. Forget that I was part of "animal house" but those guys usually turn out ok in the end as well. Besides, I played in the rock and roll bands and never had the opportunity to dance. I did have very good discussions about types of music and the influences upon my somewhat limited talents. These were fun times for me and led to some lasting relationships. My point is try and do things that open the door to mature and interesting discussions. Sports are another excellent venue. Competition is great for the soul. It is in this way you can come to know someone's intellect and character, or lack therof.

I agree with the person who suggested to widen your social circles. Be careful out there and never let anyone change the venue in which they first meet you. This is asking for trouble. When the guy asked you back to his place, that was asking for a change of venue. It will stack the odds against you and make it extremely difficult to extract yourself from a dangerous situation.
Always stay where you first meet someone. Until you get to know them a lot better, always meet in public places. Only let him discover your residence after you have come to fully trust him and have judged his intentions to be honorable. These things take time but what else do you have at age 19! Go for the fun and forget the dopes. The are many gentlemen that love the attention of a true lady, and will do backflips for that attention. Group activities foster very good relationships because you can get several inputs form many people at the same time. I don't care if it is riding bikes, playing basketball,or shooting pool in partners. Group activities are an excellent way to get several aspects of the personalties of several different people and you can process this information all at he same time. You will be surprised how quickly you will form opinions and judgement by just listenining to those around you. Be intelligent and listen carefully.

Good luck and keep us informed. Brien

 

A number of years ago I had a girlfriend give me a book that I still enjoy to this day. The title of the book is "Everything men know about women"

Here it is from beginning to end. I'll put it in quotes. " "

 

Thanks guys, yall give some rather great advice! I'm goin out again Thursday so maybe I will have more fun this time!!


Gig'em