I agree that divorces are pretty simple to get these days considering I work in an office that handles Divorce files. But I don't agree that all divorces are bad. NOT ONE BIT! Some divorces need to happen while most don't IMO.

 

It is not that most divorces do not need to happen, most marriages do not need to happen

 

true4.2,

I must say, I was genuinely surprised by this response. I figured you'd be one of the hardest of the hardliners.

If I may, how do you reconcile this with your strong beliefs, and, what would you classify as a divorce that "needs to happen"?

Waxy

 

count me in as interested too.

 

I'm not so sure you know my beliefs 100% Waxy.

A divorce that needs to happen is divorce where the situation is unmanagable. I personally witnessed a situation like this. I'll explain:

A couple gets married 15 years ago. The husband is a church going saint that works really hard for his family. At one point the wife worked for her family as well until one day the wife decided (after marriage) that she could do whatever she wanted with her life, her/his money, and her family without the consent of him or any one else. To make a long story short - 7 years of adultery, cheating, hate, stealing, and abandonment went on in this marriage. The husband did everything he possibly could to keep this marriage together because he loved his wife. And to this day, he still does. This is what he sacrificed to keep her happy:

He had to move out of 3 different houses because his wife would not work and come up with the money like she always 'said she would.' -lies- She would always lie to him to keep him happy. They eventually wound up in a cheap town-house that they are paying rent on still today. He now has 1 17 year old son who is also a Christian and a very respectable one at that. He has a 23 year old daughter who is married with 1 child that lives in another City. His wife hasn't worked for over 6 years. He gave her 3/4's of his paycheck for spending money every month. He slept in the living room while she slept in the Master Bed room...for 5 years. She wouldn't 'allow' him to because she was always 'mad' at him for some reason. He tried counseling, but she wouldn't do it. They have 2 cars, both his mind you, that they drive. A very nice Pontiac Grand Prix and an old green...thing. I'm not even sure what it's called...honestly. Guess which one she drove that she didn't pay for or help invest in. Yup, the Potiac.

It all basically went even further downhill when she ended up with an INTERNET 'friend' from Dallas that she frequently visited. (pretty much every weekend) HIS name mind you will not be mentioned. Furthermore, after the husband found out about this (about 4 months ago) he came to find out that she had about 4 or 5 different affairs in the last year.

So basically, the wife didn't put one ounce of effort into this relationship. He put his heart and soul into it. My family knows them personally and has for the last 15 years or so. This is all absolutely correct. He filed for Divorce 80 days ago, and the hearing will commence shortly. In his own words, "I've never felt so much relief and surety about something while at the same time feeling hearbroken and ashamed as I do now." In other words, his love is still there, but hers left a long time ago. The divorce needed to happen because it was in the best interest of that family.




Also, husbands that beat their wives and kids...molest them...so on and so forth. I work in the District Clerk's Office and handle protective orders and criminal cases that come in every single day. You'd be surprised how bad it is this day and age. It's a shame that we've fallen this far in our time.

What Jimmy Dean said holds some truth to...some marriages should have never happened. What about marriages that aren't sincere. A woman marries a man solely to divorce him in the near future and take his money. C'mon guys, I figured this was easy enough.

Now then, as far as marriages that have a couple of problems every once in a while...stick together, grow up, and work them out.


true



ON EDIT: If you were to ask me this 5 years ago, I would have said divorces should never happen, but I wasn't too experienced with the issue back then. Having worked in an office that deals with them, you realize a lot of things.

 

I never have, and never will, claim to.

Sounds to me like well reasoned approach to the situation.

Fisher, any thoughts?

Waxy

 

well.....I guess I'll take the bait and run ...

I agree with what true said. Biblically speaking....(you knew I'd have to have some kind of support for my answer) God hates divorece :

Malachi 2 : 15-16
"Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. "I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith. "

that being said...I also know that God provided (as mentioned earlier in this thread) reasons that divorce could be considered.

Matt 5 : 32
"But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery. "

Matt 19 : 3 - 9
"Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"
Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."


there are many other passages that support divorce providing that adultry has been committed or violence is an issue. In the above case that true state...I believe he had ample reason to divorce. Is it sad that they couldn't work it out..YES....according to what true said though it sounds as though he went above and beyond what he could do in order to make it work ....

My hat is off to him and his children who endured this situation for such a long time trying to make things work...trying to the point of giving up possessions, giving up pride, giving up the very things they worked so hard for in order for this woman to continue to take advantage of them. I'm sure he must feel peace and yet at the same time hurt. May God Bless him and his family.

 

I think men should be able to divorce but women can't. They're property and I can show you the bible verses to prove it.

Women shouldn't be able to because when I slap the little woman around she'd finally get the message instead of filing for divorce. What's this world coming to? A downhill slide I tell you.

 

What's your idea of slapping a woman around? I'm curious.

 

Two black eyes means I done told her twice.

 

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Ummm.....just for clarification, I was speaking an absurdity to demonstrate an absurdity.

IMO, divorce is acceptable in certain cases, physical abuse being primary among them.

 

ok....to...tired..to see the...obvious!

 

and is that not what we have said? is there not scripture to point that out?

and the final question for $1000..... can you show me verse in the New Testament to support the claim that women are property? (this scripture must not be a reference to Old Testament scripture either.)

 

"No fair using the Old Testament" . . sheeessssh.

Did you guys know the Flying Nun is back on TV Land weekends at 2:AM??

Yup. I'm kidding.()