It's crudely funny, but I saw this bumper sticker on the back of a truck at wallymart;

"Nine out of ten men who try Camels prefer women."





And everytime I drive interstate 44 to OKC I get a kick out of seeing the billboards advertising "Affordable Visectomy Reversals".

 

The sign I found so amazingly funny (it was really late at night, my husband and I had been up since early that morning driving from Billings, MT - Albuquerque, NM so just a warning since I was so tired: It might not be as funny to everyone else.) Anybody who has been to any big city knows that you can tell you're coming to one from miles and miles before you actually get to the city limits. Well, we could tell we were getting close to Albuquerque long before we actually did just from all the heavy traffic, so then there is this sign, just before you enter the city that says:
Now entering congested urban area.
Boy, I figured you'd have to be pretty dense to not have figured it out by the time you got to the sign. But then I AM from Montana.

 

On a local McDonalds marquee:

Now Hiring
Chicken McNuggets
$1.99


On a backwater gas station/diner:

Diesel Fried Chicken

 

big or small we lay it all
asphalt company

 

 

I think turd wranglers go into the septic business strictly for the jokes myself. The last business card I saw read, "a royal flush beats a full house." Now that's a classic.

Then there is the Mexican food restaurant down the road from my house that is notorious for messed up spelling, it read, "Fresh Mexican Girll".

 

Another one I always got a kick out of is the handicap signs in Wyoming. They have: HANDICAP then the picture of the guy in the wheelchair, and under that ONLY $100 FINE.
I always have to wonder, is it HANDICAP ONLY or ONLY $100 FINE????? Hey, Wyoming, what more can I say???

 

If you can't find your shorts, call Climax Electric

-local electrical contractor

 

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid." That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope — talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. Said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't ya know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning..ok..no problem. I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked "So..is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said "No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign."

 

WARNING: IF YOU ARE FOUND HERE AT NIGHT, YOU WILL BE FOUND HERE IN THE MORNING.

THIS HOUSE GUARDED BY A GUY WITH A SHOTGUN 3 NIGHTS OF THE WEEK, YOU GET TO GUESS WHICH 3.

My dad has his own septic pumping service. Joke he hears about every day, "Boy you have a s****y job."

Tyler
95 F-150 302 5 speed
94 F-250 PSD 5 speed