On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
****************************
On a Septic Tank Truck sign:
"We're #1 in the #2 business."
**************************
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
**************************
At a Proctologist's door
"To expedite your visit please back in."
**************************
On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
**************************
On a Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."
**************************
Pizza Shop Slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."
**************************
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
**************************
On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
**************************
At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
**************************
On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
**************************
In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
**************************
On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
**************************
At an Optometrist's Office
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
**************************
On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
**************************
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
**************************
On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
**************************
At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
**************************
Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
**************************
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
**************************
At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
**************************
In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
**************************
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
**************************
At a Propane Filling Station,
"Thank heaven for little grills."
**************************
And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak."

 

That's some good ones!

 

Seen at a sewage treatment plant here in New Providence, NJ:

No Dumping

 

I like, "NO TRESPASSING - SURVIVORS WILL BE PROSECUTED" and a hand made sign I saw at a small farm in Arkansas, "WE SELL REAL FOWL EGGS". The all time best was a sign on a motel in the town of Comfort, Texas (which is located on the map between Alice, Texas and Loraine, Texas), "SLEEP IN COMFORT BETWEEN ALICE AND LORAINE".
Dono

 

!OH YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll see ya in Comfort

 

I prefer "Trespassers will be violated"

 

On the doors to the offices and plant where I work.

DANGER

Burglers, Thieves, Etc.
We protect building by guns (we shoot)
knives, dogs,
booby traps
and electrical hazzards

 

TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT, SURVIVORS WILL BE SHOT AGAIN

 

WELCOME TO ARKANSAS
HOME OF PRESIDENT WILLIAM CLINTON

In accordance with Megan's law -
The above is a known sexual offender

 

In Ventura CA: Cocain Chiropractic

 

I was emailed some pictures a while back, SUBJECT: You named it what?

An air conditioning company called "Stiff Nipples"

A Bait & Tackle store called "The Master Baiter"

still have the email, it's got others on it too, not quite appropriate to name.

Love the other ones posted

 

In Big Bear at the corner of Big Bear Blvd and Moonridge Road.
On a sign post are two signs. The top one reads 'SKIING' with an arrow pointing to the right. The bottom one reads 'HOSPITAL' with an arrow pointing to the left.

 

On a septic tank truck in Georgia: No one sticks his nose in my business.

 

When the "new" Denver International Airport opened, on a plackard above all the hot air hand dryers:

ELECTRICAL SHOCK HAZARD: DO NOT OPERATE WITH WET HANDS.

 

On the back of a wrecker here in town: *I go where i'm towed*