The Safe for GNAC Joke Thread!!!
Cross-Country
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 87
Likes: 5
From: Lorena, TX
I know it's late notice, but a friend of mine has two tickets for
the Super Bowl in Inglewood, CA at SoFi Stadium Sunday February 13th.
They are box seats and he paid $3,500 per ticket, which includes the
ride to and from the airport, lunch, dinner, a $400.00 bar tab and a
pass to the winners locker room after the game. What he didn't
realize when he bought them last year was that it's on the same day as
his wedding.
If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.
It's at St. Paul's Church at 3 pm. Her name is Ashley. She's 5'4",
about 100 pounds, a good cook, loves to fish and hunt and will clean
your truck. She'll be the one in the white dress.
the Super Bowl in Inglewood, CA at SoFi Stadium Sunday February 13th.
They are box seats and he paid $3,500 per ticket, which includes the
ride to and from the airport, lunch, dinner, a $400.00 bar tab and a
pass to the winners locker room after the game. What he didn't
realize when he bought them last year was that it's on the same day as
his wedding.
If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.
It's at St. Paul's Church at 3 pm. Her name is Ashley. She's 5'4",
about 100 pounds, a good cook, loves to fish and hunt and will clean
your truck. She'll be the one in the white dress.
Fleet Owner
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 24,319
Likes: 5,130
From: 0,0,1
A man had 50 yard line tickets at the Super Bowl. As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "No," he says, "The seat is empty." "This is incredible!" said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl and not use it?" The first man says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven 't been to together since we got married in 1987."
"Oh . . . I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else - - a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."
"Oh . . . I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else - - a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,157
Likes: 4,149
From: Near Cal. Avenue
The Rams have almost assembled a team to win the Super Bowl...
All that’s missing is a great quarterback. A scout has been looking everywhere for someone good enough, but cheap enough to keep them under the salary cap.The scout, after a long day of searching, comes home defeated. He slumps down into his chair and decides to watch the news.
As he is watching footage of the conflict in Afghanistan, he sees it! A young man pulls the pin on a grenade and throws it forty yards to fly through the open window of a fast moving car!
“Wow that kid’s got an arm!” He exclaims. He gets on the phone and recruits the kid to the Rams the very next day.
They go on to win the Super Bowl!
That night the kid calls home to his mother.
“Mom, I’ve done it! I’ve led my team to a Super Bowl victory, are you proud?”
“No!” His mother snaps back. “I don’t care about your stupid Super Bowl. We live in constant fear! Our home is little more than a pile of rubble! Your brothers were murdered in the streets! Your sisters cannot go out for fear of being assaulted! We are suffering!”
“But mom...” He tries to interject.
“Shut up!” She screams, “I will never forgive you for making us move to LA !” ...
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,157
Likes: 4,149
From: Near Cal. Avenue
And all i wanted to do today was straightening up the house for Weekend company today ! Grand babies ! ... Is Super Bowl Weekend, sure hope it is a win for Cincy ! I got my office Big Screen over the Fire place reserved. No interruptions til half time ! .....
Is Super Bowl Weekend, sure hope it is a win for Cincy ! I got my office Big Screen over the Fire place reserved. No interruptions til half time ! .....
Moderator
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 158,421
Likes: 11,987
From: Greenfield, MA
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Hotshot
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 11,950
Likes: 5,076
A man was riding the bus, minding his own business, when this gorgeous woman next to him started to breast feed her baby.
The baby wouldn't take it, so she said, "Come on, eat it all up or ...I'll give it to this nice man here."
Five minutes later, the baby was still not feeding, so she said, "Come on, honey. Take it or I'll give it to this nice man here."
A few minutes later the anxious man blurted out, "Come on, kid. Make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!"
The baby wouldn't take it, so she said, "Come on, eat it all up or ...I'll give it to this nice man here."
Five minutes later, the baby was still not feeding, so she said, "Come on, honey. Take it or I'll give it to this nice man here."
A few minutes later the anxious man blurted out, "Come on, kid. Make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!"
Fleet Owner
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 26,157
Likes: 4,149
From: Near Cal. Avenue
You slow time down watching snow.
It seems to just stay around as long as ya keep watching it !
Ya watch the snow and things go well.
Take your eyes off the snow and your late for work.
t.
It seems to just stay around as long as ya keep watching it !
Ya watch the snow and things go well.
Take your eyes off the snow and your late for work.
t.
