I bought one of those oscillating lawn sprinklers yesterday, and it has a warning label on it that says "Do not spray water into an electrical outlet." Whew, thank goodness they told me about that, otherwise I would have been screwed! Haha...

Edit: the title should read "Sprinkler Warning Label."

 

its better then the curling iorn that says do not insert into any oraphes....

 

That's because some candidate for the Darwin award probably has done it already and filed suit against the company.

 

That is nothing...

My SIL got a Acer Netbook mini PC and there was a warning not to hold it with your fingers in the space between the monitor.. It says your fingers could get injured when you close the cover..

If you are stupid enough to do that you probably are not smart enough to operate a PC..

 

These warnings and others similar to them are just examples of how commons sense in this country is dead. Well that and there are to many lawyers out there just waiting for their "McDonalds hot coffee spilled onto lap" lawsuit. I mean come one, iced coffee wasnt even on the scene when that lady "spilled" her hot coffee on her lap.

 

Haha...another personal favorite is the sign on the gas station pumps that say "do not siphon with mouth."

 

Wife's new BBQ:..........Caution! surfaces can be very hot!

For some of the geniuses these warnings are meant for, we should have one more sign. Its hung on the muzzle of a 9mm pistol and says, "Smile, and wait for flash"

 

Thats just as stupid as a jar of peanuts that says "WARNING: CONTAINS NUTS AND WAS PACKAGED WITH MACHINERY THAT PROCESSES NUTS." NO S**T!!! The off the wall brand peanut butter from target says "may contain peanuts." Well i sure hope so! And if you are allergic to any kind of nuts wouldnt you not eat somthing that said PEANUT BUTTER on the jar?

 

> WARNING: CONTAINS NUTS

That one always slays me

 

My favourite one was on the Superman Halloween costume I saw a couple years back...


"WARNING! Costume and cape do not allow wearer to actually fly! Attempting to fly in this matter could result in injury or death to user."



That "could" in the warning always made me wonder... don't they really know for certain?

 

On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter: Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks.

On a hair dryer: Do not use in shower. Never use while sleeping.

On Tampax Tampons: Remove used tampon before inserting new one.

On ACT Childrens Oral Rinse: Keep out of reach of children.

On Lady Speed Stick Deoderant: For external use only.

On the package of an Ace Garden Hose: Do not spray water into an electrical outlet. Severe electrical shock could result.

On a lawnmower: Do not place hands or feet under mower when engine is running.

On a package of Just For Men haircolor: This product must not be used for dying eyelashes or eyebrows. To do so may cause blindness.

On a bottle of Head and Shoulders Shampoo: For external use only.

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children.

On a disposable razor: Do not use this product during an earthquake.

On a can of Fix-a-Flat: Not to be used for breast augmentation.

On a calendar: Use of term "Sunday" for reference only. No meteorological warranties express or implied.

On a Medela Pump in Style breast pump: "Close supervision is necessary when this product is used by, on, or near children or invalids."

 

Okay I was searching moose stuff one day and just by chance I happened across a site that actually sells moose pee. I was freaked as I wondered who has the job of holding the cub since having hooves meant they couldn't hold it and the cup. Well on the site I also noticed bear pee. That one worries more than the moose. I know collecting bear pee is not on my list of jobs I want to do. Here is the warning that you get with the bottle of bear pee.

Bear Urine
2 ounce bottle. 100% PURE Bear Urine. No additives—nothing added at all. WARNING: Please read! A bear is a dangerous animal to hunt. Using a bear attractant like I already sell that smells like ice cream is one thing. It appeals to their stomachs. Bear urine conjures up a whole new ball game. Their sense of territory, sex, and dominance comes into play. Their eyesight might not be as good as ours, but they can out smell up to twenty times better than us. Bears will circle back when you think that they are in front of you. In Alaska, the number one attractant to get a bear to come in is a rifle shot. Bears in that part of the world relate that to an animal down, and they come for their share. The hunter is looking after his kill, and the bears come up and maul or kill the hunter. When hunting bear, always stay together. Never go off on your own and NEVER SEPARATE from your party. Hunting a bear with bear urine is as bad as hunting wolves or mountain lions. All three can and will tear you to pieces. Always follow the instructions on the bottle. NEVER put bear urine on your person or on your clothes. Keep this away from children. You can become the hunted. Do not hunt from the ground; he can outrun you, but, then again, he can climb trees—big trees. Use extreme care while hunting.

 

FYI-and I learned this from my ex girlfriend- usually if a shampoo or conditioner or whatever says "for external use only," besides meaning that you shouldn't drink it, it also means you can't use it as a lubricant...and I think you know what I mean by that.

One thing I always liked, although it's not a warning label, was the big sacks of potatoes from the grocery store that said "Ingredients: Potatoes."

 

Nuts can be confusing,

Like

"Nuts" from a tree (pecans) or the ground (peanuts) or

"Nuts" like a fastener that we use on the end of a bolt, or

"Nuts" like the jewels us guys do our damndest to protect from being hit, or

"Nuts" like more than half of the people on this site (including me) that needs their *** locked up in the "Nut House!"

The worse thing is that all of the above "Nuts" can kill you or make you wish you were dead.

Think about it.

 

only MY man!!!