Hammer Time
Logistics Pro
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 4,562
Likes: 2
From: Southern MD
Only carpenters should have hammers!, no civilian should ever have need of a hammer! And no one should ever need more than 1 hammer, hammers are a scourge on our streets and must be stopped!..............Please write your congressman, and stop the rhetoric of the N.H.A (National Hammer Association) and get these unregistered hammers off our streets!............Sponsored by, People against hammers..PAH!
You left out one little detail. . . .
"It's for the children!"
Post Fiend
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 23,849
Likes: 20
From: McKenzie River
Studies have shown, having a hammer in the house increases the suicide rate of thumbnails and forefingers by 150%...........Stop the senseless slaughter, Ban all hammers now!....I wont even go into those evil nailguns, only the military has need of these weapons of mass construction!.
Posting Guru
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,409
Likes: 1
A few years ago I witnessed a bank robbery. The guy came out, mask on, and ran. A bank employee gave chase and he, and the cops, caught the guy about 2 blocks away. The bank gave the employee a reward........................a $25 Series EE Savings Bond! At the reward ceremony they also berated him for getting involved, which is against bank policy. Taught me a good lesson........................
Elder User
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 678
Likes: 0
From: Central, MA
Studies have shown, having a hammer in the house increases the suicide rate of thumbnails and forefingers by 150%...........Stop the senseless slaughter, Ban all hammers now!....I wont even go into those evil nailguns, only the military has need of these weapons of mass construction!.
Ever look at the hands of the skilled professionals who have used them for years? These people will never become hand models!
My town has a new program going on. For every hammer you surrender to the police, they will will issue you a new Snuggy.
Senior User
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 234
Likes: 0
From: Saskatchewan
Studies have shown, having a hammer in the house increases the suicide rate of thumbnails and forefingers by 150%...........Stop the senseless slaughter, Ban all hammers now!....I wont even go into those evil nailguns, only the military has need of these weapons of mass construction!.
Post Fiend
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 23,849
Likes: 20
From: McKenzie River
I cant help it, the voices in my head tell me to buy more hammers and stockpile them. they also tell me to hide them in handy locations throughout the house, garage and truck. Stockpiling cases of nails as well for the eventual fall of Home Depot and Lowes......Those of us with hammers will wield the power!......The rest of you wont survive the, post apocalyptic fall of western civilization!
Thread Starter
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Cargo Master
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,476
Likes: 224
From: Frequently frozen MN
While I'm a member of the NHA, I can see trading in a hammer for Snuggy
(That's her name, right?)
(That's her name, right?)
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"Mifflin Clay"
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,177
Likes: 4
From: Mifflin, PA
There is an old Confucian saying ....."When the only tool available is a hammer, every problem becomes a nail".
Please don't let them take my hammer away............
"The laws that forbid the carrying of arms .....disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes."
Cesare Beccaria (1735-1794) Italian nobleman, criminologist, and penal reformer
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Please don't let them take my hammer away............
"The laws that forbid the carrying of arms .....disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes."
Cesare Beccaria (1735-1794) Italian nobleman, criminologist, and penal reformer
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Post Fiend
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,154
Likes: 0
From: lost in WI
damn thats going to suck for Bob the Builder and his talking hammer,im SCREWED i have 5 unregistured hammers in my truck
, i will hate the day when a cop pulls me over and asks to look in the tool box and he finds all five hammers,ill do some major prison time for that next we will be having hammer control,hammer locks,and hammer safes, it will be wrenches next the cycle will never end until all tools are outlawed what will we do
, i will hate the day when a cop pulls me over and asks to look in the tool box and he finds all five hammers,ill do some major prison time for that next we will be having hammer control,hammer locks,and hammer safes, it will be wrenches next the cycle will never end until all tools are outlawed what will we do
Post Fiend
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 23,849
Likes: 20
From: McKenzie River
damn thats going to suck for Bob the Builder and his talking hammer,im SCREWED i have 5 unregistured hammers in my truck, i will hate the day when a cop pulls me over and asks to look in the tool box and he finds all five hammers,ill do some major prison time for that next we will be having hammer control,hammer locks,and hammer safes, it will be wrenches next the cycle will never end until all tools are outlawed what will we do
, i will hate the day when a cop pulls me over and asks to look in the tool box and he finds all five hammers,ill do some major prison time for that next we will be having hammer control,hammer locks,and hammer safes, it will be wrenches next the cycle will never end until all tools are outlawed what will we do
Post Fiend
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,154
Likes: 0
From: lost in WI
damn im never buying **** from him again the hammer i got from him broke my f***ing knuckle among other objects and thing,he sold me a semi-auto assult hammer it was great until the handle broke and the head landed on my foot i hope the BATFH gets the ******* he sells ****ty weapons of mass nailing and smashing
Postmaster
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,026
Likes: 0
From: Renton, WA
OMG This thread is funny!
FWIW, it's from Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace.
FWIW, it's from Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace.
Postmaster
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,151
Likes: 0
From: Moonlight Moose Enclosure
Since the police took my baseball bat because I tried to beat the bullsnot out of a drunk...maybe a hammer is my new office weapon of choice.
Kinda like a construction site commando...or a nailing nija.......Cops wont question a hammer behind the counter in the lobby or in my office on the desk. I like it.
Kinda like a construction site commando...or a nailing nija.......Cops wont question a hammer behind the counter in the lobby or in my office on the desk. I like it.
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