ok so theres this girl. Ive been out with her three times, the last this weekend. Im a quite/shy guy and I didn't say much and just listened to her talk and anyway at the end I take her back to her car and It just ended in hugging (Wish I had one of those remotes from the movie Click and could press rewind and maybe made a different move, but like I said Im shy and didnt know how she felt about me). After the last time I went out I came home and send her a email about how I felt about her and all, and that I would like to take things slow and get to know each other, but I havent reseived any reply. A girl that I truely fall in love with comes around once every blue moon, and this girl is all I can think about and I seem to be at a lost.

any thoughts!!

thx

 

Just keep in mind that three dates does not consumate a relationship.

Otherwise, you are who you are. "Shy" may run some ladies off but, others may be attracted. You will find your way. Whether it is this one or another one.

Love has a different meaning for everyone but, generally it is difficult to love and take it slow. The speed of which a relationship develops is determined by the amount of pressure both participants apply to the accelerator. You may want it to go slow and she may want it to GO, GO, GO. If you two aren't moving at the same speed...you may never complete the journey.

 

Just take it as it comes (or goes.)

 

JUst take it slow and easy. She will let you know what works for her, one way or another.

Depending on your age, most of us will not marry or get serious with the first few ladies we meet. You will probably meet several ladies at least before you find one that really works for you.

Takes awhile before you find the "right" one so don't let nature take control too soon.

Relax and be yourself and talk a lot. Talking and or writing will tell you both a lot, so take some time. My dad told me the secret to women is to talk to them AND listen. Worked for me so far.

Good Luck,

Jim Henderson

 

I would say wait for a reply and don't try to get a response right away. As the weekend approaches perhaps thursday or so, see if she wants to do soemthign togheter: bonus points if it's something that she mentioned liking during your previous dates (shows you were actually paying attention..)

 

Just be yourself and see what happins. You cant say or do any 'majic" to make her like you. While waiting for her to show she likes you you need to go ahead an run a complete credit check on her. If she has bad credit theres little need to even think about building a future with her. Also maybe a background/police record check too....... why not? I know this sounds cold but before things go any further in your mind keep it real and see if things CAN go further in the real world.

 

You emailed her??? Don't you have a phone???

 

Honestly relationships take time. After 3 dates you cannot honestly determine if its love or not. It might be lust or infatuation or something.

If you have a hard time talking with her... Something is not right. If you are that shy... Shyness can be an indication of selfishness.

If you are yourself and you two get along well, then you are down the right path.

And an email is kind of impersonal IMO.

 

The love monkey says..... let it go for right now.
I do believe that we are so wanting to love and be loved that we often project our hearts out there before we even really have the full gist of things.
For your sake I hope this girl has feelings for you like you have for her but sounds like she may be backing away. BUT then again maybe her internet is down, she may have to access it at the library and has not made it there yet. Give it a few more days.
I have been where you are....a few dates and I was locked on this guy. While I was picturing building a barn with him he was out dating other women as he was not ready to settle down that is not what he wanted.
I will tell you like I tell my girls wait for God to send you the one He wants for you. Not the one you want. You will know the difference. Give it time and at the risk of sounding like a fortune cookie....take things slow, do not rush and just let things happen as they are supposed too.
keep us updated. I know it is rough to give your heart, our most cherished possession to another and they either do not take it or they step on it. The one who is supposed to be the keeper of your heart is out there waiting for you to find her. A true mate is one who reaches for your hand but takes hold of your heart instead.

 

Aloha! I gotta go so pardon my bluntness! "I sent her an e-mail and told her how I felt????" After a hug? I used to be to gushing being a studderer all my life! Now I'm an old guy...

 

a huG 3 dates?
ive almost always got a BJ on the first date if not nailing her.Iam not shy i dont know if thats it or it could be i like the ***** type

 

I too know the feeling of the awkward "hug". My buddies used to call it the 3 second hug. Ya know it lasted a little bit longer than if you hugged your mom or grandma. Once I met a chick thru friends and we got to know each other pretty well cause me and that group hung out together quite a bit. She seemed pretty cool and we got along good. However, when i asked her to go out with me alone, it was a different story.We went out a few times and finally the last time we had a date, she hardly talked, was hesitant to let me hold her hand and so on... what was really strange is that I had a nice evening planned dinner and a movie, and she seemed to have fun the other times we went out. After we ate, we were on our way to the show and she asked me to take her home! Totally out of the blue! So i turned around and brought her home. It really bothered me for a few days afterward especially when she didn't return my calls. I didn't try any funny business on her or somthing like that so it really left me confused. Thats just how some girls are. I guess i should have gotten the hint earlier. If she ever gets back to you, suggest a double date with friends. It wont make her feel as awkward because there'll be another girl for her to talk to and takes a little pressure off of you as far as conversation and planning goes especially if your a shy kind of guy. I learned that if you can make her laugh or at least giggle or smile alot, shes a good catch. Having a buddy there to crack jokes with will usually make her laugh. If she still seems un interested then at least you know you gave it a decent shot! Good luck and let us know what happens!

PS: Avoid text messages or emails, the best way to communicate is in person or over the phone!

 

I know I'm old fashioned but a email isn't the best way to go and maybe right after the date, might have put her off a little. I'm more with the idea that a phone call a day or two later would have been better. Emails and texts are ok once you've known each other and established a relationship, but it can also leave a lot of shadow areas too. You don't know if she got it, how she took and what she is thinking now. With a phone call there is no doubt about reaching her and you can get a decent idea over the phone how she is taking the idea. I'd wait until about Thursday and if nothing is heard back from her give her a call about going out and see how she responds.

 

When hugging buddies...3 seconds might be 4 seconds to long....

 

Soooo any update?