for the chicago folks
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 13,589
Likes: 2
From: NW burbs of chicago
for the chicago folks
<TT>First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is Shi-caw-go,</TT>
<TT>assuming you live north of Roosevelt Road; otherwise it's Chi-ca-go.</TT>
<TT>Next, if your road map is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and</TT>
<TT>buy a new one. If in Naperville, and your map is one day old, then it is</TT>
<TT>already obsolete.</TT>
<TT>There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Chicago. </TT>
<TT>We all drive like that.</TT>
<TT>All directions start with, 'I-94'.. which has no beginning and no</TT>
<TT>end.</TT>
<TT>The morning rush hour is from 5 to 11. The evening rush hour is from</TT>
<TT>2 to 8.</TT>
<TT>Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.</TT>
<TT>If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,</TT>
<TT>cussed out and possibly shot.</TT>
<TT>When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when</TT>
<TT>the light turns green before going to avoid crashing with all the drivers</TT>
<TT>running the red light in cross-traffic.</TT>
<TT>Construction on Northwest Tollway is a way of life and a permanent</TT>
<TT>form of entertainment.</TT>
<TT>We had sooooo much fun with that we have added the Elgin-O'Hare and</TT>
<TT>the I-355 to the mix. (Incidentally the 'Elgin-O'Hare' does NOT go to</TT>
<TT>either Elgin or O'Hare).</TT>
<TT>All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, 'Oh, we're in</TT>
<TT>Cicero</TT><TT>!' (or, Berwyn...)</TT>
<TT>If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory</TT>
<TT>defect.</TT>
<TT>Car horns are actually 'Road Rage' indicators.</TT>
<TT>All old ladies with blue hair in Buicks or Caddys have the right of</TT>
<TT>way. Period.</TT>
<TT>A trip across town (east to west) will take a minimum of four hours.</TT>
<TT>Although many expressways (they are not called 'freeways') have</TT>
<TT>posted speed limits of 55, the minimum acceptable speed on expressways is 85. </TT>
<TT>Anything less...get the hell out of the left lane.</TT>
<TT>The wrought iron on windows in the Englewood, Lawndale and Austin</TT>
<TT>neighborhoods are not ornamental. </TT>
<TT>The Congress expressway (Ike) is our daily version of NASCAR.</TT>
<TT>If it's 100 degrees, it's 'Taste of Chicago'.</TT>
<TT>If it's 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, it's opening day at Wrigley.</TT>
<TT>If it's rained 6 inches in the last hour, the Western Open is in the</TT>
<TT>second round.</TT>
<TT>If you go to Wrigley Field pay the $25.00 to park in 'Cubs Lot.'</TT>
<TT>Parking elsewhere could cost up to $2500 for damages, towing fees, parking</TT>
<TT>tickets, etc.</TT>
<TT>Chicago</TT><TT>, there's no place like it!</TT>
<TT>You know you're from Chicago if...</TT>
<TT>You don't pronounce the 's' at the end of Illinois and become irate at</TT>
<TT>people who do.</TT>
<TT>You measure distance in minutes.</TT>
<TT>Your school classes were canceled because of the cold.</TT>
<TT>Your school classes were canceled because of the heat.</TT>
<TT>You've ever had to switch from heat to 'A/C' in the same day.</TT>
<TT>You carry jumper cables in your car.</TT>
<TT>You realize that I-290, I-90, I-94, and I-294 are all different roads.</TT>
<TT>You know the names of the interstates: Stevenson, Kennedy,</TT>
<TT>Eisenhower, Dan Ryan.</TT>
<TT>You refer to anything South of I-80 as 'Southern Illinois.'</TT>
<TT>You refer to Lake Michigan as 'The Lake'.</TT>
<TT>No matter where you are, when you hear the term 'Downtown' you</TT>
<TT>immediately assume they're talking about Downtown Chicago.</TT>
<TT>You have two favorite football teams: The Bears, and anyone who beats</TT>
<TT>the Packers.</TT>
<TT>You buy 'The Trib.'</TT>
<TT>You know what goes on a 'Chicago' style Hot Dog....and you are</TT>
<TT>permitted to shoot anyone who puts ketchup on a hot dog.</TT>
<TT>You know what Chicago Style Pizza REALLY is.</TT>
<TT>You know the real reason they call Chicago 'The Windy City.'</TT>
<TT>You understand what 'lake-effect' means.</TT>
<TT>You know the difference between Amtrak and Metra.</TT>
<TT>You have ridden the 'L.'</TT>
<TT>You can distinguish between the following area codes:</TT>
<TT>847, 630, 773, 708, 312, & 815.</TT>
<TT>You know what the phone number is to Empire Carpets.</TT>
<TT>assuming you live north of Roosevelt Road; otherwise it's Chi-ca-go.</TT>
<TT>Next, if your road map is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and</TT>
<TT>buy a new one. If in Naperville, and your map is one day old, then it is</TT>
<TT>already obsolete.</TT>
<TT>There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Chicago. </TT>
<TT>We all drive like that.</TT>
<TT>All directions start with, 'I-94'.. which has no beginning and no</TT>
<TT>end.</TT>
<TT>The morning rush hour is from 5 to 11. The evening rush hour is from</TT>
<TT>2 to 8.</TT>
<TT>Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.</TT>
<TT>If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,</TT>
<TT>cussed out and possibly shot.</TT>
<TT>When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when</TT>
<TT>the light turns green before going to avoid crashing with all the drivers</TT>
<TT>running the red light in cross-traffic.</TT>
<TT>Construction on Northwest Tollway is a way of life and a permanent</TT>
<TT>form of entertainment.</TT>
<TT>We had sooooo much fun with that we have added the Elgin-O'Hare and</TT>
<TT>the I-355 to the mix. (Incidentally the 'Elgin-O'Hare' does NOT go to</TT>
<TT>either Elgin or O'Hare).</TT>
<TT>All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, 'Oh, we're in</TT>
<TT>Cicero</TT><TT>!' (or, Berwyn...)</TT>
<TT>If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory</TT>
<TT>defect.</TT>
<TT>Car horns are actually 'Road Rage' indicators.</TT>
<TT>All old ladies with blue hair in Buicks or Caddys have the right of</TT>
<TT>way. Period.</TT>
<TT>A trip across town (east to west) will take a minimum of four hours.</TT>
<TT>Although many expressways (they are not called 'freeways') have</TT>
<TT>posted speed limits of 55, the minimum acceptable speed on expressways is 85. </TT>
<TT>Anything less...get the hell out of the left lane.</TT>
<TT>The wrought iron on windows in the Englewood, Lawndale and Austin</TT>
<TT>neighborhoods are not ornamental. </TT>
<TT>The Congress expressway (Ike) is our daily version of NASCAR.</TT>
<TT>If it's 100 degrees, it's 'Taste of Chicago'.</TT>
<TT>If it's 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, it's opening day at Wrigley.</TT>
<TT>If it's rained 6 inches in the last hour, the Western Open is in the</TT>
<TT>second round.</TT>
<TT>If you go to Wrigley Field pay the $25.00 to park in 'Cubs Lot.'</TT>
<TT>Parking elsewhere could cost up to $2500 for damages, towing fees, parking</TT>
<TT>tickets, etc.</TT>
<TT>Chicago</TT><TT>, there's no place like it!</TT>
<TT>You know you're from Chicago if...</TT>
<TT>You don't pronounce the 's' at the end of Illinois and become irate at</TT>
<TT>people who do.</TT>
<TT>You measure distance in minutes.</TT>
<TT>Your school classes were canceled because of the cold.</TT>
<TT>Your school classes were canceled because of the heat.</TT>
<TT>You've ever had to switch from heat to 'A/C' in the same day.</TT>
<TT>You carry jumper cables in your car.</TT>
<TT>You realize that I-290, I-90, I-94, and I-294 are all different roads.</TT>
<TT>You know the names of the interstates: Stevenson, Kennedy,</TT>
<TT>Eisenhower, Dan Ryan.</TT>
<TT>You refer to anything South of I-80 as 'Southern Illinois.'</TT>
<TT>You refer to Lake Michigan as 'The Lake'.</TT>
<TT>No matter where you are, when you hear the term 'Downtown' you</TT>
<TT>immediately assume they're talking about Downtown Chicago.</TT>
<TT>You have two favorite football teams: The Bears, and anyone who beats</TT>
<TT>the Packers.</TT>
<TT>You buy 'The Trib.'</TT>
<TT>You know what goes on a 'Chicago' style Hot Dog....and you are</TT>
<TT>permitted to shoot anyone who puts ketchup on a hot dog.</TT>
<TT>You know what Chicago Style Pizza REALLY is.</TT>
<TT>You know the real reason they call Chicago 'The Windy City.'</TT>
<TT>You understand what 'lake-effect' means.</TT>
<TT>You know the difference between Amtrak and Metra.</TT>
<TT>You have ridden the 'L.'</TT>
<TT>You can distinguish between the following area codes:</TT>
<TT>847, 630, 773, 708, 312, & 815.</TT>
<TT>You know what the phone number is to Empire Carpets.</TT>
Post Fiend
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 6,473
Likes: 4
From: Lafayette, IN
Guess I've been to Chicago too many times--I had much of the list covered, but not all.
My wife's family (from rural Northwest Indiana) puts the 's' at the end of 'Illinois'--drives me batty.
Also, ketchup is an acceptable hotdog topping if it is accompanied by many other toppings in my book. If you're going solo topping, it's mustard. Brats get mustard and sauerkraut or BBQ sauce and sauerkraut. Anything else deserves the death penalty.
I've never driven 85 anywhere in Chicago because I've never been able to, and I've been through Chi-town at all hours of the day and night--either too much construction or too much traffic.
Jason
My wife's family (from rural Northwest Indiana) puts the 's' at the end of 'Illinois'--drives me batty.
Also, ketchup is an acceptable hotdog topping if it is accompanied by many other toppings in my book. If you're going solo topping, it's mustard. Brats get mustard and sauerkraut or BBQ sauce and sauerkraut. Anything else deserves the death penalty.
I've never driven 85 anywhere in Chicago because I've never been able to, and I've been through Chi-town at all hours of the day and night--either too much construction or too much traffic.
Jason
Post Fiend
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 6,473
Likes: 4
From: Lafayette, IN
True...it's not bad then, but the last time I was on LSD at midnight, I had a Jeep on a trailer behind my '90 F150, which was WAY underpowered for that load.
Been quite a while since I've had Gino's East, though...
I'm still trying to find some others to go on a dinner date with my wife and I to the Parthenon on Halsted. Yeah, it's that good that I'd drive 2.5 hours to go out to dinner.
Jason
Been quite a while since I've had Gino's East, though...
I'm still trying to find some others to go on a dinner date with my wife and I to the Parthenon on Halsted. Yeah, it's that good that I'd drive 2.5 hours to go out to dinner.
Jason
