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Old Jul 3, 2008 | 04:04 PM
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sad times

I have been married for 13 years and have a boy 13 and a girl 9 and i think i am gona half to get a divorce , my wife says we cant work it out and it over is any one in here going through a divorce or been divorced ? she says i gota leave why do i half to go ? LIFE SUCKS
 
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Old Jul 3, 2008 | 04:12 PM
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that does suck!!!!
my thoughts and prayers will be with you.
 
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Old Jul 3, 2008 | 05:10 PM
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first off dont you leave if she wants out tell HER to leave.... get a lawyer right away and dont be so nice she is no longer a friend she is your ENEMY .. i dont know the circumstances but you need to watch out for you god knows she will watch out for her and get what she can.. ive been there and there is NO such thing as a friendly divorce
 
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Old Jul 3, 2008 | 05:33 PM
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Right now I'm involved with a wonderful woman who's caught up in a divorce with a very scummy, mentally abusive jackass.

In the middle, two wonderful kids.

Trust me, if she wants this divorce, it's time to lawyer up FAST. Make sure she files if she wants it and let your lawyer know you were hoping for reconcilliation.

Split the bank account and keep your earnings away from her (she might get greedy) but make sure the kids come first. Don't ever let them hear you say anything about each other and try and remain neutral around them.

It's going to be hard and it's going to be long fought, but keep your chin up and your mind clear. I've watched this happen to my mother when my jackass father split and now I'm just as deeply involved in my current situation.

An attourney is your next, best step. He or she can really help you out.
 
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Old Jul 3, 2008 | 05:49 PM
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sorry to hear the bad news. Been there,done that,have the child support payments to prove it. The only advice I can offer is try not to get the kids mixed up in it,i mean like making them pick sides. It is not their fault their parents can't work things out. Unless one of you is a total ****,the kids love both of you and still need to be have time with both. There may not be such a thing as a friendly divorce,but you can keep it civil. The kids have enough problems now,they don't need to see their parents arguing over stuff 5 years down the road it won't matter anyhow. If she is for sure serious about this and is being hateful,make sure you get her name removed off all credit cards and bank accounts. there are no winners in a divorce where kids are involved.
 
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Old Jul 3, 2008 | 07:05 PM
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Retain a lawyer. If she wants out, there is not a whole lot you can do to change her mind.

Lately its something that is crossing my mind more often. I think if we had same work schedules we would have already slit.
 
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Old Jul 3, 2008 | 08:44 PM
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Originally Posted by ricky27330
I have been married for 13 years and have a boy 13 and a girl 9 and i think i am gona half to get a divorce , my wife says we cant work it out and it over is any one in here going through a divorce or been divorced ? she says i gota leave why do i half to go ? LIFE SUCKS
I feel for ya... I went through it after 13 years also..

Like others have already said, Get a lawyer.. You could get a seperation agreement on the table that states you will try a short term seperation.. She may want out now, but after being alone with the kids fror a time she may rethink it.. Also I would recommend councelling, if she won't go at least go for yourself.. It will help alot..

Does she have anyone she has been seeing? That may be what is driving her actions..

Right now it is strictly a business relationship.. You need to seperate your finances if not already done..

Another thing is men have greater chance of ending up with the kids.. If you want them then try and get custody.. It depends on your area so a lawyer would be able to give direction..

Good luck... I hope things work out for you and the kids..
 
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Old Jul 3, 2008 | 09:05 PM
  #8  
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From: Ontario
Been there done that twice,hold on for the ride,and try and be fair.And as I type this Iam praying for you.Its not fun,but my outcome was for the best,I have a nice man,doesnt drink,treats me good,and Iam healthy and happy.The best to you.Consult a lawyer before you leave,you may not have to go.Men can raise children on their own and dont let anyone tell you they cant.Good Luck.
 
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