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Old 06-04-2008, 09:25 PM
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Flatdeck Flatdeck is offline
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Here's how my day is going! Maybe it'll brighen yours...

So, it was 10:45 and I was going to take my 10:00 break; getting hungry by now. But a newspaper called and wanted some photos emailed to them "ASAP" of course; no big deal, just delayed the break by a few more minutes.

Then, on the way to the mall, just past our parking lot, I watched a lady at the other end of the park by the blackberry bushes pause, and start wiping her right shoe on the grass. I chuckled a bit, because I knew she was wiping off dog poo. She continued on, and we were just behind her. I was looking down at the ground, paying particular attention to watch where I was stepping. I reached the footbridge with no incidents, and glanced down at a blue Wal-Mart shopping cart lying on its side in the water. At the other side of the bridge, I said "WTF!!" as I felt a hard lump under my right shoe!

Yes, somehow, despite my looking at the ground as I was walking, I too had managed to nail a large chunk of dog poo! CRAP!! I kicked off the bigger pieces, and shuffled my feet as I walked along the gravel to the street crossing, in hope that I might rid my shoe of the rest of the poo.

Inside the mall, Ray excused himself and disappeared outside... when he came back, he revealed that he too stepped in the poo! Who knew! And this was the first time he was wearing his brand new shoes. Well that figures. He could smell it, so he had gone outside to try to get it off his shoe too. While we were sitting at our table, I spent the time tapping my right foot in hope that I could knock off the stuff that was still stuck between the treads...

On the way back, I paid even more particular attention to where I was walking. It turns out the piece of poo that I had nailed was located in the middle of the bridge! And when we got back near the office, there was another piece, right where I was walking when I first noticed the lady wiping her shoe. Both narrow pathways of course.

Back at the office, I went upstairs to the bathroom to see what I could do about the poo on my shoe. I wiped off the slimey mixture of sand and poo with some toilet paper and dropped it in the loo. I then used a metal rod and scraped out the treads on the shoe, wiping the rod with more toilet paper and dropping it in the loo. Then I dampened some paper towel and used it to wipe the shoe. But since you can't put paper towel in the toilet, I dropped it in the garbage can. After several paper towels, the bathroom now smelled like dog poo too.

Now, in order to access the bottom of my shoe, I had to stand on one leg, and of course that put a great strain on my already-sore-from-a-previous-injury back. So I was grunting from the exertion of standing on one leg, and groaning from the pain that my back was giving me, and I was pissed off from the whole poo incident, and somebody walked by on the other side of the closed door and started laughing, thinking that the sounds they were hearing was me sitting on the loo, trying to squeeze out a big log!

So I got most of it off, but there's always that lingering bit that just clings on, no matter what you do. I walked down to my office, and sat in my chair. My back was really sore, so I leaned over forwards to stretch it out... and smelled the remaining poo.
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Old 06-05-2008, 02:36 AM
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R031Kona R031Kona is offline
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Sorry about the sticker thread but I was lazy. Sedly is moving but if he does not check in I am sure someone has a extra and will mail it for cost + shipping.
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Old 06-05-2008, 09:35 PM
Mr. Fixit Mr. Fixit is offline
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Sorry but amused to hear about your non-automotive adventures yesterday Flatbed. You have to admit there is something very symbolic about seeing a drowned Walmart cart and stepping in a big 'payday'. Perhaps the Goddess of misfortune is warning you about big box stores and dogs. On the other hand, it could be a covert plot, hatched by some Madison Avenue marketing geniuses to encourage the use of 'Fabreze' in lavatories and offices...
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Old 06-06-2008, 01:21 AM
rob188 rob188 is offline
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dude that sucks
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