Foster Children
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Senior User
Joined: Feb 2007
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From: TENNESSEE, GO VOLS
Foster Children
Me and the wife was blessed with two boys today. One is five and the other is two. They are brothers. We are soon hoping to be able to adopt them but that is not possible right now. We went through alot of classes to become foster parents and are real excited about it, and also a little nervous. Any advise you guys might have would be appreciated for this is the first time we have ever had children. I know they are not mine yet but I feel like a proud papa. The two year old fell out of his bed tonight about 1:00am and started screaming, scared the heck out of me. Here it is almost 3am and I still cant get back to sleep.
Post Fiend
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 5,398
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From: Gilbert, Az
That is a wonderful thing you are doing!!!! As for advice the only thing I can tell you is just love them with all you have even when they really try your patience, and they will. Now try to go back to sleep and get some rest, you are going to have a long day with little ones.
Postmaster
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 2,958
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From: Southern NH
I've always felt that people who take in foster children are one in a million. Kudos to you and your wife. Just have lots of patience and restrain yourself from spoiling them too much too soon. They need your love and structure in their lives at this time. Involve them in activities outside of the home so they can build trust and character.
Good luck in your new adventure! I'm sure you two will provide them with a wonderful happy home.
Oh. And buy that little one some rails for his bed. That'll keep him from falling out again.
Good luck in your new adventure! I'm sure you two will provide them with a wonderful happy home.
Oh. And buy that little one some rails for his bed. That'll keep him from falling out again.
Posting Guru
Joined: Jun 2005
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From: Location, Location.
A friendly reality check - "fostering" usually means temporary. The kids had to be taken out of the home for one reason or another, but the state agency's first objective will be to reunite parent and child if the parents can get their act together, or seek a blood relative adoption. They must have gone over this in your courses. Most state agencies don't see fostering as a "back door" to adoption.
Maybe your situation is different - just a firendly heads up so noone gets their heart tied in a knot uselessly.
Maybe your situation is different - just a firendly heads up so noone gets their heart tied in a knot uselessly.
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Senior User
Joined: Feb 2007
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From: TENNESSEE, GO VOLS
Thanks for the advise so far. I took a vacation day today and have been trying to spend some time with them. They seem to be adjusting well so far, but this is only the second day. We did pick up some rails for the bed today, thanks for that. We have a todler bed for him but he thinks he is a big boy like his brother and will not sleep in it. Thanks again and as always you guys and gals have been very helpful.
Thread Starter
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Senior User
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 419
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From: TENNESSEE, GO VOLS
A friendly reality check - "fostering" usually means temporary. The kids had to be taken out of the home for one reason or another, but the state agency's first objective will be to reunite parent and child if the parents can get their act together, or seek a blood relative adoption. They must have gone over this in your courses. Most state agencies don't see fostering as a "back door" to adoption.
Maybe your situation is different - just a firendly heads up so noone gets their heart tied in a knot uselessly.
Maybe your situation is different - just a firendly heads up so noone gets their heart tied in a knot uselessly.
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From: yukon
congrats, you'll do fine. my wife and i did. we had a boy from birth till he was 1 and then went back to his dad. we still see him and he knows us. recently we have gotten another baby boy that was 2 months preemy. he has heart problems and is on medication. these probs may dissappear down the road, but we can't stand to see a child without a family. we may have him long term. if he does go back to a family member, we'll know we gave him a great life while he was here. it's hard to love someone for a term and then maybe have to let them go. be strong and give them what they need. it's called fulfillment. we also have a 2 year old daughter of our own.
Posting Guru
Joined: Oct 2005
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God Bless You for what you are doing. You are offering those two boys a loving home with a real homelife, probably something they never had. Money could never buy the happiness both you and they will share! You and your wife should pat yourselves on the back; you are really making a difference in the lives of two brothers!
Posting Guru
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just remember even if its not a permanent thing anything you teach them and the life you give them may changer their lives forever. children are sponges, they soak up everything. if they do go back to their blood family chances are the things you teach them they will take with them and even if its not the greatest life they go back too they will know life's worth living and things can be better.
Post Fiend
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 13,873
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From: Atlanta GA
Great thing to be doing. If they stay a life time or only a year, you still have the enjoyment of those precious children forever.
One thing I have trouble with is giving my children and the children in the neighborhood all the attention they deserve. Especially if I am tired and I get hit with dozens of questions before I get my truck door open, or through the door of my house, or my supper eaten.
If you have challenging kids, what I have found works well is to just sit in my truck a few minutes when I get home and sometimes literally soak my head so I respond like I should.
> They are brothers.
It is great they are keeping them together. Make them learn your home phone # frontwards and backwards so if they ever get separated later on, even years from now, they can still contact you to get in touch with the other brother. If you can make up a special way to remember from the numbers such as 617-brr-cold so much the better.
One thing I have trouble with is giving my children and the children in the neighborhood all the attention they deserve. Especially if I am tired and I get hit with dozens of questions before I get my truck door open, or through the door of my house, or my supper eaten.
If you have challenging kids, what I have found works well is to just sit in my truck a few minutes when I get home and sometimes literally soak my head so I respond like I should.
> They are brothers.
It is great they are keeping them together. Make them learn your home phone # frontwards and backwards so if they ever get separated later on, even years from now, they can still contact you to get in touch with the other brother. If you can make up a special way to remember from the numbers such as 617-brr-cold so much the better.
Hotshot
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 10,241
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From: Chino Valley, Arizona
God bless you for opening your home to children in need. My wife and I have talked about foster parrenting but never done it as my job has moved us 27 times since 1990, some friend from church are foster parrents, they have had over 200 foster kids, 2 of their own and adopted 8. their car is a 15 passenger van, and some times the Excurison with the van.