He is our first kid to enter adolescence and he is driving DH and I insane!

Who here has been through raising a son in puberty????

One minute he is sweet and helpful and in an instant he is irritable and whiny. OMG, he's making us crazy!

Please, anyone, share your experiences, advice and solutions. How did/do you deal with the Jeckyll and Hyde behavior?

Our boy is really a good guy, but he can be such a PITA much of the time.

We love him and really want to help him adjust to this new phase in life.

TIA!

 

well I have 2 children who are at the puberty age one is 16 a girl lol and a son who is 10 the 16 year old has gotten out of hand at times her mood swings are way out there that you are afraid to look at her cause you don't know if she is going to cry or yell and says i hate living here lol, and for our son well he is a pip he is stating to get to the stage if you look at him wrong he cries, and lie well they both do that lol, the 10 yr old also tries to blame things on the 3 yr old now, the 3 yr old will not take his bath by himself he wants his brother in there so I have to put bubbles in there just to get the 10 yr old in ever try and give a 10 yr old a bath lol not fun to say the least I just wash his hair and hand him the soap and say wash your self lol I have my hands full with all 3 of them to say the least lol. I love them to death though but wow.

 

I've got a 10 year old girl, a 15 year old son and a 19 year old son. The best thing I can do is remind them and myself that I was once their age too and sooner or later they'll be in my shoes themselves.

When that doesn't work I reach for "Plan B". It's made of leather and has a buckle.

 

Hmm acting out teenagers ..been there got the movie.

In fact, I saw 3 years of paremnts being barraged with this behaviour.

Note: You going to be going through this on a rollercoaster for years


Go to the Library ,find and read this book until it all sticks.
(Both parents have to be on the same wavelength)

"How to deal with your acting out teenager" by Bayard & Bayard

http://www.amazon.com/How-Deal-Your-.../dp/087131407X


Note: Always Read it in private and never let the child see it.

It works faster on some kids more than others.

as a rule ...Boys come back to their parents and apologise for their behaviour when they reach 22-24

Girls 25-28.

Hang in there ...and stay positive !

 

Wow!!!!

Absolutely true!!!!!!!



4 kids, here.

11. . . 16. . . . 25. . . .27.

The 27 year old and the 11 year old are boys.
The 25 year old and the 16 year old are girls.

Dennis hit the nail right on the head with what I quoted, above!!!!

My 27 year old (actually my stepson, but I raised him since he was just a tiny kid, so, he's MINE) and I 'butted heads' from the time he could talk. But, when he was sick, or when he needed help, I was the person he turned to.
He and I are verrrrrrrrrry close, now.

My 25 year old daughter and I have always been close. No 'issues' with her. . . ever.

My 16 year old daughter. Heaven help me.
"Take me here." "Take me there." "I want this." "I want that." "You can't make me do that if I don't want to."

This little girl is literally a miracle. Long story, but, my wife and I lost two kids. This now 16 yer old came along and was a miracle to be here.
She and I have 'issues', but, my 'will' is stronger than hers.


My 11 year old.
He's a good kid. He's hard-headed (ahem. . . just like his mom, cough, cough) but, he's got a heart of gold, will do anything that you ask, and is learning to be quite a decent young lad. (Sorry, I can't say 'man' as some do. He's not 21, yet!)





As my former boss once told me:
"You know, the older you get... the 'smarter' your parents get."

Think about it. He was right!

 

I'm not looking forward to our two youngsters going through their teenage years. I only hope they go easier on me than i did on my parents. It's a confusing time for all involved. One thing my dad said to me many years ago, "It can be harder being a teenager than it is to raise one." Don't know how true this is because I've never raised one, but having been there...yea it can be pretty hard.

 

mine are 5,7,10,11,12 they all have there good days and pita days,its just simple sit them down and calmly tell them that when there like this they can and will be tipped over my knee and there attitude will be adjusted. this works in 12 years only 2 spankins!!

 

I remember what I was like when I was 13. Just wait until 16. It only gets worse. I feel for you. Sorry I can't be more help.

 

Here is the deal. I have raised 5 kids, and actualy 7 since helped raise my wifes two kids. Yep, no wonder my hair is white, and I look nervous all the time! But seriously, it takes giving much love, it means hearing stuff you don't wanna hear, and it means being strong enough to say NO!

You are the parent, whom I suppose pays the mortgage, and puts food on the table. You are the BOSS. Take control, and forget about all the liberal crap that people say on how to raise a kid.

I took control. I have a daughter that owns six hair salons. I have a son that is a fireman. I have a son who is a gunny sgt. in the marines. And on Dec. 14th of this year, my wife and I will attend graduation at Embry Riddle Aeronautical collage for our youngest son. He graduates with a degree in electical engineering. And the same day, I get to pin his 2nd luitenant bars on his chest, as we will be sending him off to flight school in the United States Airforce!

Be strong, be there, and be the BOSS!

 

I remeber those golden years of my childhood. Maybe they only seem golden because of my Dad kept lighting my **** of fire.

 

better have him evaluated.. my son turned out was bi polar so is my ex wife.. She refused to believe there was a problem and it took him getting into trouble with the law to get him evaluateed...Dont listen to the stuff about it being normal teenage stuff this is a bunch of horse hockey... other thing is you and your hubby have to be a united front and stick by each other

 

I have just never experienced the terrible teenage years,,, I honestly think it was the strong communication between me and my children. I discussed everything with them!! They knew exactly why I made whatever decision I made and that helped them understand why I said, "No" sometimes and, "Yes" at other times. I never pulled rank, and always let them make their own decisions, with guidance, and allowed them to suffer the consequences of those decisions, good or bad. Tough love indeed!! Tough on us for having to watch them fall on their faces!! But, that's how they leaned best.

We also did not have 'television' in our house, because of the remotness of where we live. But, if you ask my children, they will tell you that they feel the lack of television is the secret to their success and have no intentions of having it in their homes when they move out. We do have DVD's, videos, Internet and game consoles for entertainment!!

I encouraged them to stay busy with sports, work and keeping up their grades. Bribery works well in this area!! I paid $100.00 for every A they got in Math and/or Science classes. Talk about incentive!! Since they both ended up with awesome scholarships because of good grades, the bribe was way cheaper than tuition!! Think about it!!

My son is now 19 and a senior at Eastern Oregon University ~ Yes, he graduated from high school just a little early. He is a crew boss for a private fire contractor in the summers and works at Pepsi full time while attending college full time. He has paid for his own truck, snowmachine, snowboard and any other toy he thinks he needs. He rents a house and pays all his own bills.

My daughter is now 17 and a senior in high school, but also a sophomore at, Walla Walla Community College. She will graduate from high school on June 8, 2008 and get her AA on Sunday June 9, 2008. When she goes on to get her BS, she will only need to attend for two years, so she is a bit ahead of the game as well. She has worked as a waitress for over a year and pays for all the gas for her car and whatever else she thinks she 'has to have'!!

They are respectful, hard workers and I have people tell me all the time how nice it is to see well mannered children. I'm not exactly sure what I did right, but I feel very blessed!!!

 

You got it right SB

Communication is a huge factor.
So is Mutual respect


One thing I forgot add in my first reply is.

Kids Need and actually WANT guidelines/parameters

Parents need to be parents.

 

Have a 17 year old senior in HS whom I nearly strangled (a la Homer Simpson) a hundred times when he was 7-10th grades. Now a 4.0 gpa and starter on the football tem that had its best record in 16 years.
Daughter is in 9th grade and it is a replayof the boys behavior at the time. Since he straightened out, the only thing keeping me going is that she will as well.
One day at a time, man, one day at a time!

 

I have a 14yo and almost 16 year old boys. What I tell them is what happened to their uncle Tim...

Soon as they hit 17, they will get drunk, taken to a recruiting office by their grandfather and old Marine, sworn in, and on the Greyhound to MCRD(Marine Corps recruit Depot) San Diego.

The oldest is a sure example of teenage angst and the sullen and disrespectful attitude. The youngest is deceitful and easily lead astray by "friends" and way too much "yeah yeah, whatever".

Seems like one day they are the usual good kid and then suddenly they are PITA teenagers. Fortunately neither of them has discovered girls or cars yet.

We just try to talk with them and keep an eye on what they do. We also try to get them in an activity like Boy Scouts or Civial Air Patrol(CAPs). CAPs is very good for a kid who has an interest in a military career and flying.

I believe teenage behavior is natur's way of getting them tossed out of the home to set out on life's path.

Jim Henderson