It's too bad, I've seen this same scenario play out time after time. It seems these days I know almost no-one that is still on their first marrage. (including myself) He's in for a long rough ride. She's into this soul search mode, which is a crock. If she hasn't cheated yet, she probably soon will. I agree with most of the others, He needs to cut her off financially and give her taste of the real world. They both need to support the children and remain stong parents for them formost. Their problems should come second, the kids first. If he's the one living at their home, that's where the children need to stay. It seems to be a similar theme with many women when they marry young. They get to their thirties and wonder what they've missed in life. It's really nobodies fault, it just happens. The big problem will be....when the fight starts and the kids get caught in the middle. Typically they will lose most of what they own and the lawyers will get a little richer. Their children will grow up with self esteem issues. Boys act out and girls get depressed. Many become permiscuous in their teens. Many turn to drugs. When they grow up, the cycle repeats.

I know this isn't a very pretty picture, but is probably the way this failing marrage will play out. I'm older and my children are all grown now. I have a good relationship with all of them. I've been through it and most of my friends have been though it. Tell your friend to be a good Dad to his kids. They'll need it more than anything. There is life after divorce.

I guess that's my rant. Hope I didn't offend anybody.

 

Im glad you posted. Its nice to see some people take their relationships seriously. Im with you, me (and the wife) get one chance in life to stay faithful, its really not that difficult. There are no do-overs or second chances, you blow it, you're out...period.

 

It is obvious that both of you read what you wanted out of my post since I said that I couldnt forgive and forget. What I said was that there are people who do get past an affair, a betrayal, a separation, even a divorce. The way YOU feel has absolutely nothing to do with how others feel and act.

And the "this is how American culture..." nonsense has gotten really old. There is no divorce, no cheating in Europe? Baloney.

 

whoa whoa whoa....ok so my post had a bit of trollish nature. I know what you meant...

 

"perhaps in the american culture, and among others"

i did not say just america did i?

ok ok, so i over stated a bit in regards to your post

i just get so sick of hearing things along these lines, and it defintly is not the first time and not even talking reading stories on the internet. it seems that family values and faith (not meaning religious faith either) to each other has all been tossed out the window now days in exchange for "live life for the moment!"

 

Our high tech, politically correct world is great we think today. But along with this greatness has created a "me" society. It goes something like this :

"I want, it is all about me and my feelings, therefore I shall have it now, no compromises, no debating. If you cannot give it to me, then you are disposable and I will keep searching until I find someone that can".

A way of life today that is contributing immensely to our divorce rate in this nation. jmo

 

It has become like everything else - completely disposable. Kids are learning from a very young age that they get everything they want without having to earn or work for it. Kids who can't do well enough to graduate - graduate. Standards are lowered, incompetence is accepted and mediocrity has become the norm. In other words, we are all spoiled. Forget sacrifice and commitment - that is so old fashioned.