From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story. Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in LUDINGTON, MICHIGAN after last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other
patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night--,flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.

The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the sherriffs office. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the truly proud non-drinker. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

 

Subject: ALZHEIMER'S CHECK


The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of
Psychiatry at Harvard University . Take your time and see
if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person
over 40 years of age cannot do it!

1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fart cat.
9. This is busy cat
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.

 

Divorced Barbie
On his way home a father remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.
At a toy store he asked the salesperson, "How much is the Barbie in The
display window?"
The salesperson answered, "Which one? We Have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95,
Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for
$19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95
The amazed father asked: " Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the
Others only $19.95?"
Annoyed, the salesman answered: "Sir..., "Divorced Barbie comes with:
Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken’s Computer And...One of Ken's Friends.