Ok I heard my wife on the phone last night and she was aparentlly talking to an old friend. She was talking about her parents and all sorts of stuff. I thought nothing of it. Well when she came to bed I asked her who she was talking to. She said Her friend from work and made up a story about it. Well Today I visited her at work and she wanted to walk me to my truck afterwards. when we got thare she said she lied to me and was sorry. I said what about and she told me that she was talking to an ex boyfriend. They had found each other on MYspace. I said OK.... And she said that he e-mailed her and asked if he could call. Well I am very suspecious at this point. She has never been very truthful when it comes to our prior relationships. so I snooped. Yes ilegally. I signed onto her myspace when I got home and looked at her prior mail. She has been chatting back and forth for a while> It all seemed innocent until her post on the 8th of april. When she e-mailed him and said how good it was to talk to him and she missed his voice. Now apparentlly last night was not the first phone conversation and I am fumeing.
WHat should I say How should I approach her to getr the truth.

 

I think that you should be honest with her.

 

Wow....... She's your wife, how is your relationship? For real!! Do you trust her? My wife has lots of male friends but I know that's as far as it goes!! She even goes to the bar after work! ( work males) There's an old saying...If you love it let it go.........If it was yours it will come back........ another saying goes..... Give her enough rope she'll hang her self! Depend on your relationship with each other................Good luck my friend!!

Give her space and the rope!

 

Your post gave me goose bumps! Been there, done that! As I see it, you have two options: Hash out the sorted details ~ or ~ forget the whole nasty mess and let it go.


I tend use the straightforward approach myself. I can’t stand to beat around the bush. If it were me, I’d print off the e-mails, put them in an envelope and hand them to her and say something like, “You got mail today” real casual like. Things will get real ugly, real fast. But, why drag it out? There is no NICE way to do this. She’ll try to turn it around on you that you snooped, so you’ll have to keep the focus as to WHY you snooped ~ her lack of honesty ~

I know, easier said than done… It’s not me, it’s you… But I have walked this mile and if you don’t say something, it’ll eat at you until you explode! Whatever’s gonna happen is gonna happen… Let her know, that you know, and ask her what her intentions are. Time will tell from there.

PS ~ If I were her, I'd be secretly glad you confronted me and got it out in the open. I'm sure she is filled with guilt even though she has continued her poor behavior ~ Best of luck man! This sucks!

 

I'd lay it out for her, that you know what's going on and want to know what she has to say for herself. Bluff if you have to, ask her where she was when you came home early, etc. Don't get upset visibly, don't yell, just guilt trip her.

 

Snombunny........ Your a pretty smart woman, Marty get it out in the open and let the chips fall where they may!!!!!

 

Absolutely! If there's nothing there, nothing will come of it. If there is something there, well you guys have some soul searching to do...

 

soul searching or gun and shovel searching?

 

Dude that sucks man, I'm sorry to hear about that. Been there done that my self, and I gotta echo eberybody elses comments, be open about it, dont explode or anything, but talk to her about it, get it out in the open. Trust me, it'll all turn out much better in the end then if you held it in and/or just flat went off. I did both, and it wasnt pretty, she wouldnt even agknowlage my existance up till about 2 years ago.

 

Well, I know she isn't having an affair... She does not have time.
I keep insisting that she prove to me that they only talked once. She has not yet. I asked if she wanted to get our cell phone records out and go through them and she started going off on me about mit being rediculous. I keep insisting that all she has to do is show me 1 piece of proof that it has not been ongoing. I will drop all charges and apologize.

 

I think that she may not be doing anything she considers wrong but she sure isn't being honest with you which means she is trying to hide something. That isn't fair to you

 

exactly what I am thinking

 

Sounds like you need to get off FTE for a bit, and figure what you think is important...If you love your Lady...Turn your computer OFF!...She is asking for special time!

 

Hey Marty, no good advice from me - I can't even run my own life! But hang in there and keep us posted on how YOU are doing.

 

Marty:..........Don't make me come up there and have to bail you out of jail!!!