Relationship troubles
Posting Guru
Joined: Feb 2007
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From: Graham, WA
I have been the same situation. I don't want to sound off everybody elses comments. All I wanted to say was, if you go for the direct approach, have the child stay with a family member. They don't need to see that. Trust me. You want to talk you got my # . Keep your head up bro.
Have a nice Beer!!!
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 5,024
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From: WA Resident
I'm going through this right now with a good friend of mine. Their relationship is over the big D bomb has been dropped. I do know where you are coming from. My 2 cents, don't hide behind the bush, speak your mind. Remember onething, keep a calm voice. Any domestic violence charge and your guns are gone permanetly. It just gets uglier from there on.
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Cargo Master
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,852
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From: Living under the bosses d
Well, We chatted a long time last night and she keeps proclaiming that it is just a friend and she didnt htink she was hiding it from me. I just never asked the right questions. She also says she wants to maintain the relationship with him. I told her I was out... I looked up the phone records on her cell and they have only talked 2 times for 16 minutes and 23 minutes as of the 16th. She is willing to tell him that she cannot talk on the phone anymore. I am ok with only e-mail chat. It is slightlly harder to hide. And potentially way less intimant. She maintains that she does not want to loose me however, i have a horrible jelious streak and it takes me a long time to get over stuff. I think we are talking it out though. Thanks for the comments. I am still not sure if I want to stick around or not. My kid is involved and I can't stand not being there for her.
New User
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7
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Your post caught my eye. I'm just going to kick back what I'm hearing from you in your posts.
1. Lack of trust and full disclosure on past relationships
2. Your jealous streak is a problem
3. Trust issues related to her disclosure about the phone conversations
Here's a little tough love for you. She told you that she hadn't been truthful about the call. She was honest about that part. Perhaps her lack of full disclosure about the 2nd call with the ex-boyfriend was in response to your reaction. You've said you have a jealous streak and don't forgive easily. That's a recipe for misery and failure for the relationship. I don't know you but I would suggest some counseling for both of you. If you've got a faith institution you could call on clergy for support and guidance. If you don't, take a look around for some reputable family counselors to meet and see if it feels right. I just don't think you aren't going to be happy without rebuilding some trust and making some changes. I also agree with the previous poster about turning off the tv and computer and setting some time aside for the two of you. That and counseling represent a shared investment in your relationship. It's like anything else, if you want it to work, you have to work at it.
Blessings and Best of Luck
1. Lack of trust and full disclosure on past relationships
2. Your jealous streak is a problem
3. Trust issues related to her disclosure about the phone conversations
Here's a little tough love for you. She told you that she hadn't been truthful about the call. She was honest about that part. Perhaps her lack of full disclosure about the 2nd call with the ex-boyfriend was in response to your reaction. You've said you have a jealous streak and don't forgive easily. That's a recipe for misery and failure for the relationship. I don't know you but I would suggest some counseling for both of you. If you've got a faith institution you could call on clergy for support and guidance. If you don't, take a look around for some reputable family counselors to meet and see if it feels right. I just don't think you aren't going to be happy without rebuilding some trust and making some changes. I also agree with the previous poster about turning off the tv and computer and setting some time aside for the two of you. That and counseling represent a shared investment in your relationship. It's like anything else, if you want it to work, you have to work at it.
Blessings and Best of Luck
Posting Guru
Joined: Jun 2002
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Her offering to give up the phone conversations is good...but might give her the feeling of you restricting her freedom to talk with an old friend, even if the booger is an ex-boyfriend. That feeling would probably grow to resentment and cause more problems sooner rather than later. You feeling suspicious and betrayed is natural -- but if you want to continue the marriage keep those feelings down and discuss your life together with her. Go together out to dinner or a carnival or movie or something. Use the computer less -- Donna tells me I'm on it too much and that's a hint for me. We have been going out together the past few days and nights, while normally we were happy being homebodies here in the woods (I thought.)
In whichever direction you choose...with a little time and understanding you two (three) can work this out, if you want to.
In whichever direction you choose...with a little time and understanding you two (three) can work this out, if you want to.
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Cargo Master
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,489
Likes: 45
From: Central NY
Originally Posted by FordTuffGeorgiaGirl
I think that she may not be doing anything she considers wrong but she sure isn't being honest with you which means she is trying to hide something. That isn't fair to you
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