insults
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Joined: Dec 2006
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From: Rockford, Il
your mama, that just makes me laugh, man was that ever a big deal 20- 25 years ago when i was a little kid. now i say it to guys i hang around with, it really brings a look of shock to faces, and then just a flurry of emotions, usually ending with lots of laughter.
my other favorite is to talk **** at guys who work at the shops i deliver to. i tell them there job (insert any job you like)is just something that was originally invented to give the organ grinders monkey something to do on the off season.
the other one i use: Insert favorite job title... what do you call a bus load of toolmakers at the bottom of the ocean...a good start. Dan
my other favorite is to talk **** at guys who work at the shops i deliver to. i tell them there job (insert any job you like)is just something that was originally invented to give the organ grinders monkey something to do on the off season.
the other one i use: Insert favorite job title... what do you call a bus load of toolmakers at the bottom of the ocean...a good start. Dan
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 12,170
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From: The hills of No. Calif.
One I like is, "That boy's dumber than a box of rocks..."
or, "He's dumber than a sack of hammers"...
But really,. I'm such a nice guy that I don't insult people very often.
or, "He's dumber than a sack of hammers"...
But really,. I'm such a nice guy that I don't insult people very often.
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Joined: Jan 2007
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I say " I dont need good comebacks because I am already ahead". 
Its universal and works in all arguments .
Its universal and works in all arguments .
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Gone but not forgotten.
Joined: Jul 2001
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I have studied the art of the insult for many years and have given and received many. In my opinion the best insult ever written is from Shakespeare's King Lear.......
Oswald: Why dost thou use me thus? I know thee not.
Kent: Fellow, I know thee.
Oswald: What dost thou know me for?
Kent: A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking horeson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pander, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition.
Now That is an insult.
Oswald: Why dost thou use me thus? I know thee not.
Kent: Fellow, I know thee.
Oswald: What dost thou know me for?
Kent: A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking horeson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pander, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition.
Now That is an insult.
Last edited by dono; Mar 18, 2007 at 01:22 AM.
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Joined: Jul 2005
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Originally Posted by hkiefus
Your face, your ***, what's the difference?
I'll have to remember that one.My favorite for the buds is "Nice (you fill in the blank).Does it come in mens?"
Usually it's the trucks they drive.
i ain't rite
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 65,579
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From: Marlboro Mental Hospital.
did your parents ever have any children that lived???
you are duller than a rusty butter knife.
you are about as bright as a 2 watt light bulb............in a power failure.
your dumber than a stick of wood.
your are lower than snake poop in the bottom of a wagon track.
you are about as coordinated as a bull in a china shop.
don't let your mind wander.
it's much too small to be out alone.
you are duller than a rusty butter knife.
you are about as bright as a 2 watt light bulb............in a power failure.
your dumber than a stick of wood.
your are lower than snake poop in the bottom of a wagon track.
you are about as coordinated as a bull in a china shop.
don't let your mind wander.
it's much too small to be out alone.
Last edited by tjc transport; Mar 18, 2007 at 07:52 AM.
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,159
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From: Connecticut
You have the I.Q. of a bowling ball with no holes!
Every time you speak the rest of the world gets dumber.
Your brain is the only substance that is resistant to everything.
Your in the Guinness book of World Records for having a 6 figure negative I.Q.
If brain cells were money. You would be in debtors prison for 6 billion life sentences!
If you thought before you spoke. You would never be heard from.
I would call you stupid. But thats an insult to stupid peoples intelligence!
I leave dropings in the toilet bowl smarter then you!
Every time you speak the rest of the world gets dumber.
Your brain is the only substance that is resistant to everything.
Your in the Guinness book of World Records for having a 6 figure negative I.Q.
If brain cells were money. You would be in debtors prison for 6 billion life sentences!
If you thought before you spoke. You would never be heard from.
I would call you stupid. But thats an insult to stupid peoples intelligence!
I leave dropings in the toilet bowl smarter then you!
Hotshot
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 12,170
Likes: 5
From: The hills of No. Calif.
Originally Posted by dono
I have studied the art of the insult for many years and have given and received many. In my opinion the best insult ever written is from Shakespeare's King Lear.......
Oswald: Why dost thou use me thus? I know thee not.
Kent: Fellow, I know thee.
Oswald: What dost thou know me for?
Kent: A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking horeson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pander, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition.
Now That is an insult.
Oswald: Why dost thou use me thus? I know thee not.
Kent: Fellow, I know thee.
Oswald: What dost thou know me for?
Kent: A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking horeson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pander, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition.
Now That is an insult.
I used to work Renaissance Faire and we had a format for Elizabethan insults. It can be found here:
http://www.museangel.net/insult.html
Read the whole thing if you like, or simply scroll down to the Insult Generator. Pick one item out of each of the three coumns and add them together, prefaced by "Thou" or some other form of Elizabethan address. Kinda fun! A bit hard to actually feel insulted these days when some calls you an "Infectious Fen-sucked Maggot Pie..."
Last edited by TigerDan; Mar 18, 2007 at 10:35 AM.
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,996
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From: Pittsburgh,Pa.
Do you have any brain cells that actually function?
I scrape better things off my boots when I leave work.
[Quote Foghorn Leghorn]" I say that boy is about as sharp as a marble."
You couldn't pull your head out of your a** with a locomotive.
I scrape better things off my boots when I leave work.
[Quote Foghorn Leghorn]" I say that boy is about as sharp as a marble."
You couldn't pull your head out of your a** with a locomotive.