Oil Change instructions for Women:

1) Pull uo to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 4,000 miles since the last oil change.
2) Enjoy a cup of coffee while waiting and read a magazine.
3)20 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

Time spent: 20 minutes
Money spent:
Oil change: $21.00
Coffee: Free
Total: $21.00

Oil Change Instructions for Men:

1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $40.00.
2)Stop by 7/11 and buy a 12 pack of beer, write a check for $15.00, drive home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 13/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil and splash hot oil on you in the process.
12) Crawl out from under car to wipe oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for the oil filter wrench.
15) Give up, crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through the oil filter and twist off.
16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter drooling oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid enviromental penalties. Drink another beer.
17) Install a new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
18) Dump first quart of oil into engine.
19) Remember drain plug from step 11.
20) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
21) Drink beer and check the score of the game you're missing, but the wife is watching.
22) Discover the first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
23) Get drain plug in with only minor spill. Drink beer.
24) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bust knuckles on frame.
25) Begin cussing fit.
26) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
27) Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.
28) Beer.
29) Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
30) Beer.
31) Dump in 5 fresh quarts of oil.
32) Beer.
33) Lower car from jack stands>
34) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps.
35) Beer.
36) Test drive car.
37) Get pulled over and arrested for driving under the influance.
38) Car gets impounded.
39) Call loving wife, make bail.
40) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

Time spent: 12 hours
Parts: $40.00
DUI: $2500.00
Impound fee: $75.00
Bail: $500.00
Beer: $15.00

Money spent: $3,130.00

 

Better idea...'
Wife buys beer on way home from jiffy lube, keeps keys, puts husband in Living room to watch game and stay out of trouble!

 

that's complicated...

Cut the beer out of the situation, and you have yourself some high quality oil and filter supplies, and a clean record.

But...

I did laugh.

Ryan

 

Dude, we all don't have that Aerosol addiction you happen to have...

 

lol... you're so right.

Ryan

 

That was a good one.

 

Hey now, there's also a difference in the way men and women shop:

 

And she never actually gets to the GAP!

 

Brad, that picture gets me EVERY time!!!

It's so true to life...

lmao...

Ryan

 

Acutally, here it is in a nutshell

A man will pay two dollars for a one dollar item that he needs

A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item that she DOESN'T need

Gunner15a

 

Actually, HERE it is in a nutshell:

Married guy:"Yes Dear"