OK, a few more I found:

ATC: Alitalia 345 continue taxi holding position 26 South via Tango check for workers along taxiway
AZA: Ali345 Taxi 26 Left a via Tango. Workers checked - all are working

Controller: "USA353 (sic) contact Cleveland Center 135.60.
(pause)
Controller: "USA353 contact Cleveland Center 135.60!"
(pause)
Controller: "USA353 you're just like my wife you never listen!"
Pilot: "Center, this is USA553, maybe if you called her by the right name you'd get a better response!"

On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference:
If it is an American Airlines Flight, it is 3 o'clock.
If it is an Air Force, it is 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3.

LH741: Tower, give me a rough timecheck
Tower: It's Tuesday, Sir.

A couple from flight attendants:

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.

 

Lol all very very funny.

I've always enjoyed flying on Southwest, they can make things so entertaining.

 

Apparently there were 2 flights delayed out of Frankfurt Yesterday.

Passengers are Miffed.

Planes Delayed

 

That was truly one of the funniest videos I've ever seen in my entire life Mil1ion...

ok...I've been up entirely too long and the video made me entirely too happy. Time for sleep.

 

I was on an America West flight that landed in PHX on runway 25L (which is the farthest from the terminal). The FA got on the speaker and gave the thank you for flaying America West and that we will be at the terminal shortly, but we have to drive back on I-10 because we landed in Tucson to save money on fuel. Some people did not get the humor and REALLY thought that we were going to taxi back on I-10.

I was on a SWA to SNA and as we were taking off the FA was making a Chug, Chug (train) sound and as soon as the pilot rotated he started to blow a whistle.

 

That has got to be the funniest video I have seen all year!!

 

I was flying back from Phoenix to Dallas this summer with a friend. She was nervous about flying and so I was trying to talk about some random things...telling her what the taxiway signs meant, and then she saw the number panels on the side of the runway as we were about to takeoff, so I told her those were the "distance remaining" signs that tell you how many thousands of feet are left.

We're taking off...it's hot...the 737 just keeps going down the runway...not taking off, just rolling ever faster. And she sees the 3 sign pass by...then the 2 sign...and looks at me and goes "he needs to pedal a little faster".

If only it were that easy.

 

Dang, you plane must of been HEAVY. In the winter they rotate at about 7,000 feet left, but the longest rool I had was in the summer in a 757-200 and we rotated at 4,000 feet left.

Yabba, Dabba, Doo

 

Yeah or the pilot wanted an extra 10mph to make sure they actually got off the ground.