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my X girlfriend's father has colan cancer they are having a benifit for him to help with the med bills I mentioned it to my wife didnt go well and I understand but they basically raised me for like 10 years . I just want to see him before he is dead . but on the other hand I dont think I would go to one of her x's benifits. just dont know what to do ...
Well, if the guy raised you for 10 years, he must be like a father to you whether he is you ex-girlfrined's father or not. Hopefully, your wife will understand that. You don't want a fight at home but family is family even if you aren't blood related.
I have been in similar situations. It's hard and I feel for you. Is it worth a fight at home? Is it worth perhaps not seeing this guy ever again? Either way, she is not required to go with you and she may be uncomfortable with the idea of you being near an ex of yours. I know my wife would be.
Yea I know I dont think I would like it if the shoe was on the other foot. yea I may have to go alone on this one. But I hate that too I love my wife and its not about the ex I dont miss her at all but her parents are great people. I appreciate the input its going to work out somehow.
I've reached an age where I make the effort to go to funerals for people who meant something to me. I guess it's b/c I'll be joining them soon! I'm going to a funeral Mon. for a fellow choir member in my church. We weren't real close, but the choir always sings when one of there own gets promoted to the Church Triumphant. I have to miss a few hours work on Mon., but that's not all the tough to take. If I were in your situation, I'd go.
Put the X aside... would it be OK? You also have to remember what you are to them and act on that.
If you want to help the family, write a check. If you want to visit with him, make a date with him. Make that distinction to your wife also, no need to dwell on "use-ta-bees". This visit is for your benefit as much as anyone's, hopefully your Mrs will recognize that.
As the bible says Dead people don't come back. Sound like he is on limited time and you will still have a lot of time left to make up with your wife. She will eventually understand why you wanted to go, but it might not be tomorrow. Good Luck and God Bless....
Just before I was going to tell your wife to grow up
I regularily phone those different people from the past to wish them a special Happy ? Birthday (50-60-75 whatever) or visit people (that were close to me at a younger age) that are in the hospital dying, just to let them know how much they meant to me and say goodbye.
In fact, I feel bad not being able to day goodbye to those are die before I find out
Life is a Journey via steeping stones.
Always remember those "stones of life" that got you to where you are today.
Hey, involve your wife maybe?
Tell her this guy was very important in your life and getting you where you are today.
As your wife, I'm guessing she thinks that you turned out OK.
Maybe she could go with you to say "Hello and Thanks."
The focus is on an aging man, who may be dying with cancer, not on an ex-girlfiend from some time in the past.
Anyways, glad you got it worked out. Hopefully it worked out in such a way that you and your wife are better friends and this didn't become a point of contention to drive you apart.
I think we got all the ducks in a row now . but really thanks to you all its nice to have someone to listen.. I have the go ahead to go so all is well it will be a quick and sweet kind of deal but I will feel better about it for sure to get to go see him. again thanks.