Ok my new girlfriend. We like each other, she has a 2 month old baby. We been out together allready. She lives with her parents since she had her baby, and I live with mine. She was married to the babies father. Her parents dont think she needs a relationship they gave her an ultamatum last night either she dont have a realtionship or she moves out then she can do what ever she wants. There is just somethnig about this girl that I just cant let go. Its sad we both cried over this ordeal. I told her I couldnt let her go I think we could have a good future together. She thinks the same but she dont know if she wants to move out cuase financially she isnt, but mentally she is. Im not sure what to do to get her parents to accept me. What is there I can say to help out I dont want to let this one go. Thanks Please help me figure this out I dont know what I would do without her. It was just an instant attachment to her. Thanks

 

Give it some time. If you are meant to be together, it will be so.

 

how old are the parties in question?

 

I would see if you can't arrange a private conversation with her father, if you're serious. Let him know that there is sincerity, and you think there's a future.

I think Dad's really appreciate straight-shooters. Don't let yourself be viewed as the worm. Step up and let them know you mean business, politely.

Ryan

 

Being a Dad, and a Uncle; the young ladies parents laying down some hard rules seems right on track. Messing with boy's has gotten her what? I too believe that if you are truly sincere, and aware of your influence in this gal's life, then speak with confidence and respect to her father. Be prepared, Daddy will more than likely not be to keen on your idea. Us Daddies, do however, pay back what is due. Not only are you interested in courting a lady, you are also courting her children. Their Grandchildren. They will not be to happy with your idea or intentions. However, if one was to cowboy up, show respect and responsibility, and be patient and willing to show not only the young lady, but also her parents that you have their best interest at heart, you then will become less of a risk and more of a son.

 

The OP is 20 Jake.

IMO, I think you guys are too young for this

This situation and the compassion you have for this girl is Too Soon and you are just asking for a life or a few years of turmoil if you turn this into marriage or Common-Law.

She is looking for a crutch now that the father has terminated the relationship.

Here's a thought ....think long and hard about why he split with her.

You're too young and the possiblilites are teeming with failure.

That's my advice & I'm sticking with it

 

I think if I was in your situation, I would do the ol secret relationship. Its foolproof! Well, not really, but it seems like it might have to be an option till things get more serious, or her parents let up abit. By the way, I would not let my parents tell me what to do or who to see when I was 16, let alone 20. Financially, things can be figured out to work on her end, and that doesnt mean you guys moving in together. IMO at the age of 20, your woman should not have her parents controlling her, and I think that she should make her own decisions, but also, their house their rules.

 

He's 20. I don't how old she is..he hasn't said yet .

My guess 18 or 19.

I have to ask though and I have a lot of compassion a rhetorical question.... Who at 20 would want to start a family responsible type life with girl that was just or is a teenager with the infant child of another man in tow ?

 

very very good advice

 

I'm going with FghtinIrshNvrDie and moparmark here. This comment really struck me:

"Us Daddies, do however, pay back what is due. Not only are you interested in courting a lady, you are also courting her children. Their Grandchildren. They will not be to happy with your idea or intentions. However, if one was to cowboy up, show respect and responsibility, and be patient and willing to show not only the young lady, but also her parents that you have their best interest at heart, you then will become less of a risk and more of a son."

and this

"I would see if you can't arrange a private conversation with her father, if you're serious. Let him know that there is sincerity, and you think there's a future.

I think Dad's really appreciate straight-shooters. Don't let yourself be viewed as the worm. Step up and let them know you mean business, politely."

That being said, Dennis is right- the odds are stacked hugely against you. On the other hand, the rewards could be just as large.... if your the right kind of guy for this. Remember, you aren't just looking at a g/f, but a built-in family as well. I won't dwell on your age..... that's been beaten to death. Something to think about- the girl needs her folks at the moment a lot worse than she needs you- tread carefully... and slowly.

 

I can clearly see why the parents gave her an ultimatum.
Married before and has a 2 month old? They want her to get her act together now before it is too late. She needs to show some responsibilty with and for her baby. And yes, she needs to forget about herself for the time being, including no relationships, until she has established herself well enough to take care of her baby and herself without any help from her parents. And yes, they can tell her what to do, because she is living under their roof. And their concern for her future is doubled because it involves their grandchild.
If I were you, I would honor her parents request. Don't see her like you were. You can always be her friend with a call or an email, or even good ole fashion snail-mail.
Think it over with an open mind, and don't take it personally.
I've seen first hand what can happen. IE. With my parents and my older sister. She is 41 now, with three kids. Never been married and has had endless boyfriends.

 

You want a frank opinion...? You need to run for this girl as fast as possible and I believe you're thinking with your small head. Her parents are right.

Recently married, 2 month old child, living with her parents, now dating someone else only 2 months after having a baby.... seems you've hooked up with someone who is incapable of making good life-impacting choices. Stick with this and the future is ripe for living in a run-down double-wide.

 

I was thinking the same thing Ken.
But if she's young, there still might be some hope for her yet. She just needs some tough love from her parents.

 

I've been married for 20 years now and I gotta tell you, getting married when you're not quite ready for it is kinda like trying to tow a car with a bungy cord. It's harder than hell and unless you're really patient and careful, it'll break long before you get anywhere.

Are you ready to support a wife and child financially? Do you have a career that will pay for a home, food, utilities, transportation, education, recreation, medical expenses, insurance including medical, life, home owners, auto?

Or do you expect your parents to take care of her, her kid, and you?

 

If you love her and it sounds like you do ****** her and the baby up and go . Sometimes people do things wrong but thats life if you can be good to her and the baby thats what you (all) need just do it ! good luck!

Jeff