At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story.
We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something.
Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

 

sierraben, you just set back the male race 100yrs. there is no way any girl want's to hear our side. we need to "subtle" it. not throw it at 'em. so when the guy's w/wives come at you, don't ask my help.

 

I couldn't help but notice they're all #1.

Ryan

 

ryan ..... you are sooo screwd if she sees it. that was the bad part of it. all #1.

 

I noticed that they are #1 too.
Everything sounds true though. I hope they don't take away a green reputation square from you.
Thanks for sharing!

 

uh oh... I forgot we weren't in clubFTE.

Ryan

 

the original version had a reason for why they were all numbered with a one,but I haven't heard it for awhile so i can't remember what it is right now

 

lol i loved that i agree with most of it, i defiently say whats on my mind lol

dont agree with the 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! i think BOTH should stay in shape..

 

I think the original reason why they were all numbered "1", at least for this one, is:

"Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!"

It's all in humor/fun.

There. Now I'm off the hook.

 

no way you get off the hook that easy. i posted here warnining people are in trouble. it's a crap hole you opened, now you gotta fill in the hole dude.... lol

 

ctrl P as I type......

 

Just sent them to my wife, we'll see what happens after the dust clears!

 

So help me out here. We weren’t supposed to print this out for our wives? I might be in trouble.

 

Remember.

"As always, should you or any of your FTE force be caught or killed with these Guys Rules", the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions. This tape will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck, (enter your name)."

 

You forgot the last line.

"We know we are going to have to sleep ont he couch tonight, but you know what? We don't mind. It's like camping." Or something like that.