1,000 post
Posting Guru
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,293
Likes: 0
Congrats on living long enough to post 1000 times. I know the feeling. I never thought I would ever have 1000 things to say to anyone, ever. I've probably said more here than I have to my wife in 15 years of marriage.
I seem to recall a tradition here, I think it was here anyway. On your 1000th post, you had to post a joke. Haven't seen that done in a while. Guess some traditions just don't last. Anyway, Cheers mate, here's to 1000 more
I seem to recall a tradition here, I think it was here anyway. On your 1000th post, you had to post a joke. Haven't seen that done in a while. Guess some traditions just don't last. Anyway, Cheers mate, here's to 1000 more
Post Fiend
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 6,110
Likes: 0
hey, its my 1,000th post also! way to much time on my hands, but hey, i was bed bound for most of spring for medical reasons, thank goodness for FTE to keep me entertained, and video games also.
but now i am working for the 3rd day, hard to get used to after a year of not working.
alright, my joke....mmmmmm....2 potatoes are standing on a corner, 1 is the pimp, the other is the hooker, how you tell which one is the hooker? the one that says I-DA-HO.
alright, that was lame, but all i could think of at the moment.
but now i am working for the 3rd day, hard to get used to after a year of not working.
alright, my joke....mmmmmm....2 potatoes are standing on a corner, 1 is the pimp, the other is the hooker, how you tell which one is the hooker? the one that says I-DA-HO.
alright, that was lame, but all i could think of at the moment.
Postmaster
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,759
Likes: 0
From: Pleasant Hill, MO
Trending Topics
Posting Guru
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,293
Likes: 0
Wasn't a bad joke bf250. I can't think of any right off. In lieu of a joke, some things that make me go "hmmmmm...." and some thoughts.
Why do psychics have to ask your name? How does teflon stick to the pan? What is a "free" gift, aren't all gifts free? What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
The early bird may get the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you will be a mile away and have their shoes.
That concludes my 1000 post performance. Old tired rebel, your up.
Why do psychics have to ask your name? How does teflon stick to the pan? What is a "free" gift, aren't all gifts free? What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
The early bird may get the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you will be a mile away and have their shoes.
That concludes my 1000 post performance. Old tired rebel, your up.
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Post Fiend
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 14,941
Likes: 4
From: North of Normal
Originally Posted by bf250
hey, its my 1,000th post also! way to much time on my hands, but hey, i was bed bound for most of spring for medical reasons, thank goodness for FTE to keep me entertained, and video games also.
but now i am working for the 3rd day, hard to get used to after a year of not working.
alright, my joke....mmmmmm....2 potatoes are standing on a corner, 1 is the pimp, the other is the hooker, how you tell which one is the hooker? the one that says I-DA-HO.
alright, that was lame, but all i could think of at the moment.
but now i am working for the 3rd day, hard to get used to after a year of not working.
alright, my joke....mmmmmm....2 potatoes are standing on a corner, 1 is the pimp, the other is the hooker, how you tell which one is the hooker? the one that says I-DA-HO.
alright, that was lame, but all i could think of at the moment.
Jäger
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 5,491
Likes: 5
From: Northern Arizona
Looks like I qualify to join in the celebration! 
The FBI had an opening for an assassin.
After all the interviews, testing, and background checks were done, there were three finalists: Two men and a woman.
For the final test, an FBI Agent took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances may be. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!" The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife!" The agent said, "You're not the right person for this job. Take your wife and go home."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't do it, I cannot kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes to be an agent, take your wife and go!"
Finally, it was the womans turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and entered the room. Shots were heard, one after another. The agent could hear screaming, crashing and banging noises coming from the room! After a few minutes, all was quiet.
The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and handed the gun back to the FBI agent. "This gun is loaded with blanks", she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair!"
Russ
The FBI had an opening for an assassin.
After all the interviews, testing, and background checks were done, there were three finalists: Two men and a woman.
For the final test, an FBI Agent took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances may be. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!" The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife!" The agent said, "You're not the right person for this job. Take your wife and go home."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't do it, I cannot kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes to be an agent, take your wife and go!"
Finally, it was the womans turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and entered the room. Shots were heard, one after another. The agent could hear screaming, crashing and banging noises coming from the room! After a few minutes, all was quiet.
The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and handed the gun back to the FBI agent. "This gun is loaded with blanks", she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair!"
Russ
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Post Fiend
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 14,941
Likes: 4
From: North of Normal
Originally Posted by Kepler4
Looks like I qualify to join in the celebration!
The FBI had an opening for an assassin.
After all the interviews, testing, and background checks were done, there were three finalists: Two men and a woman.
For the final test, an FBI Agent took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances may be. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!" The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife!" The agent said, "You're not the right person for this job. Take your wife and go home."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't do it, I cannot kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes to be an agent, take your wife and go!"
Finally, it was the womans turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and entered the room. Shots were heard, one after another. The agent could hear screaming, crashing and banging noises coming from the room! After a few minutes, all was quiet.
The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and handed the gun back to the FBI agent. "This gun is loaded with blanks", she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair!"
Russ
The FBI had an opening for an assassin.
After all the interviews, testing, and background checks were done, there were three finalists: Two men and a woman.
For the final test, an FBI Agent took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances may be. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!" The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife!" The agent said, "You're not the right person for this job. Take your wife and go home."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't do it, I cannot kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes to be an agent, take your wife and go!"
Finally, it was the womans turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and entered the room. Shots were heard, one after another. The agent could hear screaming, crashing and banging noises coming from the room! After a few minutes, all was quiet.
The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and handed the gun back to the FBI agent. "This gun is loaded with blanks", she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair!"
Russ
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