I just dont like being pushed around. I dont care, it will be better when i move out in T-30 days. Today we kind of went at it again. (note my dad is not very mechanically inclined), he had this idea to save money on water, he would buy my neighbors wind generator from him (neighbor started it as a small project, never finished), then buy a battery, and a regulator, and all the other stuff you need to charge a battery, then would hook up an electrical pump to it (that he would have to buy) and get 4 one hundred gallon barrels. He would then drive down to where you can buy like 500 gallons of water for 75 cents, fill up the barrels, and drive back (and somehow unload them) and then run the pump in the barrels to water the lawn. (we have a seperate meter for our outside faucets, so we dont have to pay for the sewer on them). At first i thought he was joking, but its an actual idea he's seriously thinking about doing. I was like, you're going to waste more money buying all the crap for it and waste more time driving back and fourth for water, and spend more money in gas doing it, and it will take you the whole weekend to water your lawn. He just like freaks out "i'll tell you what, when you move out you'll realize how expensive the utilities are, do you want to pay the utilities around here?" Yeah, lets see, the last utilities bill was like 300$, the water/sewer was $100 of that, and the water was $30 of that (sewer was $70). So instead of doing all that monkey business of water pumps and barrels, he could just shut the TV off before he goes to sleep and would save the same amount of money, but dont tell him that though. (were not by any means poor, my dad probalby makes $50k/yr, and mom probalby makes around $35-40/year. This is what i'm talking about when i say he's being irrational.

 

man you know I remember when I was still in highschool, and just out of highschool...I thought my dad was the biggest a-hole, spaz case, hot head out there....then I realized I knew how to push his buttons and I always did (un-intentionally-ish). It takes 2 to tango, cliche I know but true none the less (99.9% of the time).
When you get in an argument with a parent just remember, he had to deal with you when you were little. Some of you may have kids now, and if you do you can understand the stress children create with their behaviour. Im 22, my daughters almost 3...there are things she does that drive me crazy. I feel sorry for your dad more than I do for you.

 

It's good to see things worked out. My dad was never around (he left when he found out my mom was pregnant) which when iwas born caused my mom to flip out. drinking, drugs, you name it she did it. i lived with my grandmother till i was 5. Then she finaly thought she could take care of me so i moved in with her and her new bf we lived in a junk yard in a trailer, till i was about 10. That's when her boyfriend got abusive with me i got beat nightly for the hell of it. which caused me to move back into my grandmothers. which by the time i was 13 i had it set in my head the hole world hated me. started stealing, drugs all of it. Then when i was 16 my father contacted me i went to live with him for 6 months and he whooped my *** so bad it put me in the hospital for a month and with a therapist. around 17 is when i just gave up on life. quit caring about school, i was the only one that matterd. spent alot of time in juvinile hall. here i am today dont talk to neither of my parents, no education but i hold a full time job own house/cars the hole kit and kaboodle.

(moral of the story)
dont let anything ruin you and your parents relationship it sucks growing up without anybody there. There you're parents they'll always take you back (in most cases) just obey there rules till your old enuff to get out. then go!

 

yea, 15 bucks for water here

Damn Haynes, I'd be looking to eric n lyle menendez for advise if my parents did that kinda crap

 

So everything has been going pretty good with dad for the last year... Until Yesterday. (sorry for bringing this back from the dead, i just need to vent!)

My grandma on my moms side died las winter, and my mom's whole family of 11 brothers and sisters were going to go up north (300 miles) to visit the grave and get together for a while. My mom wanted to go up north to be with her family, which was okay and everything until about 2 days before she wanted to leave. She was going to leave on thursday, but my dad went into freakout mode telling her she couldnt go. I still havent figured out why, but some of his reasons were he didnt want to put alot of miles on the car, he didnt want her driving by herself up there (because he would have to stay home and watch his mom who is living with them, and his new puppy). My mother usually takes care of my dads mom (my grandma), and his dog most of the time. I think he didnt want her to go because he didnt have enough responsibility to take care of his own mom and his puppy. So she said she would just leave on friday then. Come friday dad goes into freakout mode again yelling, screaming, telling her she has to stay, putting his hands around her neck (not choking, but more of a threat, like he could if he wanted to), and pushing her around. So she stays and gets up at about 6:00 am saturday morning (today) and leaves to go up north while he is still asleep.

My dad wakes up shortly after she leaves, gets in his truck, drives like a madman (speeds around 100 MPH) on the highway to catch up to her. He finally does, swirves the truck at her, like he is going to run her off the road, then speeds up and pulls in front of her and slams on his brakes, they both get stopped, he tells her to go home, she turns around, goes strait to the police department, he veers in front of her in town, stops her again, she drives around him and goes to the police department. She waits outside the police department, afraid to go in #1 because he is sitting there waiting for her to get out, and #2 my dad was a cop for 35 years and last time she went in there for a problem they pretty much laguhed it off and offered no help to her.

My dad starts circling the block, and my mom leaves and goes out to my uncles house. While my dad is doing all of this my 18 year old brother is packing his things and leaving my parents house and also heading for my uncles house. They both make it to my uncles house okay, and start heading up north.

Hours later they get a call from the police department saying they need to bring back "my dads" minivan, and my dad wont press any charges for "stealing it".

The police department also calls back saying they need to bring back the truck (vehicle my brother drove) because it also belongs to my dad.

My mom basically said they can come and get it themselves, but good luck finding her.

I feel like the police are totally on his side and they wont do anything to help my mom. What can anyone do? I hate it when he gets all crazy like this. I dont even feel safe anymore. I look over my shoulder everywhere I go because i'm afraid of him going crazy and pulling out a gun or something.

I'm sure some of this will somehow be my fault (he usually pushes the blame around to everybody). I fell all stressed out, but alot better after this rant! So thanks for listening and letting me post guys and gals

(Yeah, poor dad.

 

well I only said that because I have a daughter whos learning how to push my buttons lol. Sorry man I didnt really think you mean that psycho when you said "psycho dad" . Why not try another police department? That shht aint right man and if youre afraid to sleep under the same roof as him thats double not right...Im sure someone here will have a better suggestion than I do for you as far as seeking help goes.
None of its your fault unless you deliberately initiate such a circumstance, and even then the parent is supposed to be the responsable one.

 

Well, fortunatley, (and probably to my dads surprise)I've been living on my own for over a year now and actually doing quite well. So I really dont have to put up with his stuff anymore which is a relief. But I still feel bad for my mom and my brother, and i know that somehow he will find a reason to blame me for something.

I just had to add that quote in there to make myself feel better i guess. No harm meant. I understand what you are saying, I know i was the best at pushing his buttons. I think he is a control freak and that probably caused alot of this anyway. This time I wasnt even there though, so there was no pushing of anyones buttons! lol. Thanks alot. FTE is the best medicine.

 

up and grabbed hold of my shirt and ripped it and gashed my neck, i punched him in the face and knocked the lense out of his glasses and my brother broke it up. Needless to say i'm sitting at my GF's house, and my dad just called me and told me that he's going to set my stuff by the garage door and if it isnt picked up within a week it's going to be sitting outside. He also said on monday he's dropping insurance on both of my vehicles. So basically i'm kicked out of my house. I have an apartment lined up for august 1's for when i move out for college. What do i do until then? Anyone else's parents act like this?[/QUOTE] man ure dad had a bad case of PMS , he needs to get leid lol

 

I'd think you're mom should look into leaving him, nothing you can do about it, theyre 2 adults.

Sounds like your dad is manipulative , seems thats how he got the police on his side. If I was yer mom,. I'd file a restraining order, and file charges on the hands around the neck thing. or tell all your moms brothers and brothers in law what your dad did........

 

I kinda know what your going through, my dad is not mechanically inclined at all and we are restoring our 77 F-150. He...he ba...he is soo cheap. I get ticked at him atleast once a day. I'v learned to just walk away from it, I just dont give a crap anymore. So many things, I tell him he is doing the wrong way, he sais, "nono, that doesn't matter" or "why would you do it like that" It's actually kinda funny, because most of the time he will go with my suggestion after he thinks it over. When I restore my own truck, I will do it the right way, I won't be afraid to spend a little money to ensure my saftey and get the job done the right and quality way.

(my dad used a piece of metal from a garden tool to lengthen the steering shaft...) I pray that it will hold, when Im in the truck I will always think about that...

I hate body lifts, but thats person prefrence I guess. He decided to do one because it was cheaper! Im glad I atleast talked him out of using hockey pucks. He ordered a kit from super lift instead.

He wants our truck to be like a show truck when its done. (I think to my self, bahaha are you kidding me, this will be a far cry from a show truck)

He gets mad pretty easily too...

I'm glad hes my dad though and wouldn't know what to do without him though. Knowing that he smokes and drinks a fair bit sometimes doesn't help either

 

Well, lets just say i think my dad had a little revalation.

I think everything will work out for the best now.

The day after this all happened he must have done some thinking. No one talked to him for like 4 days. He didnt make any attempts. He was extreemely embarassed at what he had done. He was afraid to call me because he was afraid of what I might say. He openly admits and takes all the blame for this last blow out he had with my mom, and the blow out between me and him a year ago, and everything else he had done crazy like that.

He did some research on some "anti-anxiety" medication he had been taking called Paxil (He had anxiety attack after his heart attack) Here are the wonderful specs on this drug taken from http://www.onlinelawyersource.com/paxil/dangers.html:

"The potential side effects of taking Paxil are also a major concern surrounding the use of this drug. The dangers of Paxil side effects pose a threat to the physical and emotional well being of patients who take this medication. Dangers of Paxil side effects can include the development or worsening of emotional conditions, sexual dysfunction, aggression, agitation, anxiety, dizziness, drowsiness, gastrointestinal complications, and a variety of other concerns.

The dangers of Paxil can be serious in relation to withdrawal symptoms that can be experienced when one discontinues the use of Paxil. Negative withdrawal symptoms can range from flu-like discomforts to extreme physical and emotional anguish. The dangers of Paxil withdrawal can last for days or several months and may include these symptoms: insomnia, abnormal dreams, anxiety, “zapping” sensations throughout the entire body, profuse sweating, and aggressive, violent or suicidal thoughts or actions. "

Were thinking this has alot to do with what has been going on. Amazing to my mom and I, before anything was even said to my dad, he had allready made a doctor appointment to get reffered to a psycologist or a psyciatrist (spelling?) to get treatment for his anger problems, or at least figure out how much of it is him and how much of it was the drug.

I guess my mom and I feel pretty comfortable that big changes are going to be made due to the fact that he had allready done all of this on his own (he's got alot of pride to admit he has a problem like this).

 

Just barely we were moving a truck box out of our garage onto our driveway and I was supposed to move the stands that were holding the truck box up. My brother and my dad were doing it by themselves, they had to move really fast becasue it was really heavy I guess. I got one out of the way, and the second one fell, no way I am going to get it out of there, I tell him to watch out, so he goes ahead and trips on it, dropping his side and breaking some new welds,denting up the end pretty bad... I'm pretty pissed off at myself and my dad is mad at me as well. so yea, I feel really bad even though there was nothing I could do about it.

 

The way I see it:

You bought the hose...but the hose was on HIS boat.In my life,if you buy something for someone else's property,you just gave that person a gift.

Is it true that just about everything of your dad's that you use ends up broken?If so,maybe this was just his last straw with you not being careful.It comes back to respect,and if you constantly break and/or lose your dad's stuff,you are not respecting him.

Also,I read the "your dad needs to respect you" posts,and I don't think that's true.You escelated the situation with your smart alec comments to him and telling him what to do.I never tell my dad what to do,unless he asks for my advice.He's the adult,your just a kid,especially in his eyes.

He had no right to shove you,but you deserve everything you got for laying hands on your father.Once again,it's respect.You should have just left,gone to your girlfriends house or something.Shoving him on his ***,and then punching him in the face,that's not right.

I assume since your dad paid your car insurance,he probally paid for your gas and didn't make you pay rent to live in his house.You are one lucky lil SOB to have it that lucky.I have had to pay rent since I was 18,pay my own insurance (on thier plan),and buy my own gas.I have also bought all four of my cars myself.

 

the op is over a year old

 

Dont come on this board and assume you know me (buckeyesteeler7). You know nothing. I pay my own rent, I pay for my gas, I pay for everything besides the insurance, which I would have no problem paying for, but my parents insisted on paying it for me. My parents have never given me any hand-outs. All 3 of the vehicles I own are in my name, I have paid for, and I do the upkeep on them.

I would have bought my dad another 30 gas hoses for his boat to keep him from exploding like he did.

Anything I have ever broken of my fathers has been replaced with the same or better equiptment. Anything lost is usually his fault. His bad habit is doing a project, getting half way done with it, then leaving it lay out, with all the tools associated with it (usually on the kitchen table). The tools are then put into a basket of some sort and carried into our basement where his tool box is and left down there laying in the basket. 90% of the time I will have to dig through the baskets to find a tool I need, and I put it back where it belongs in his tool box (which is ironically the last place he checks).

It is a fact that respect is a two way street. Parent or child, in any and every relationship respect needs to be mutually shared between both parties. I believe I am in every way lucky to have the parents I have and live the life I live, but I assure you I am not an SOB. I also do not believe that you should go around calling people such things when you are in fact only making assumptions based on the little information you have about me. I know the kinds of kids you are reffering to when you made that statement, and I am telling you now that I fall far outside of that catagory.

For everybodys information it seems that most of my fathers aggression is being caused by a drug called "Paxil" that is used to treat anxiety. This drug has alot of bad side effects, one being aggression, and many major lawsuits are being filled because this drug has led to many suicides in teens. This drug is also very hard to get off of because of the withdrawl simptoms listed below:

"The dangers of Paxil can be serious in relation to withdrawal symptoms that can be experienced when one discontinues the use of Paxil. Negative withdrawal symptoms can range from flu-like discomforts to extreme physical and emotional anguish. The dangers of Paxil withdrawal can last for days or several months and may include these symptoms: insomnia, abnormal dreams, anxiety, “zapping” sensations throughout the entire body, profuse sweating, and aggressive, violent or suicidal thoughts or actions. "

Let it be a warning to anyone who has been perscribed this drug, or anyone who has family members that have started taking the drug, or are thinking about taking it. It has caused alot of unneeded tension in our family and almost a divorce before we finally figured it out.

Thanks to all who have listend to me and comforted me, it is really appreciated.