I left work early yesterday on a whim. My daughter had been bugging me to go out and hunt down a Christmas tree. She simply doesn't like the fibre optic tree i picked up at the flea market last year? Apparently, late afternoon is best time to hunt trees, the light is just right and they don't see you sneaking up on them! We used to do this every year, some hot apple cider and a wagon ride get you in the correct frame of mind to ambush an unsuspecting evergreen and ****** it before the other hunters can find that most perfect specimen.
Well, by 3:15 the two of us were in the truck heading up Lakeridge Road. I remember there was a tree farm,...err hunting ground near Ashburn. Not anymore, ! So off to Oshawa, Collins near Simcoe, thats where we went last time. Did I mention we had a bit of snow last nite? I'm taking the back roads enjoying the drive and the scenery. Guess what,....another hunting ground sacrificed to the persistent encroachment of little brick houses. Snowing more now....we keep driving east and spot a sign in the shape of the ever elusive christmas tree. We keeping driving in the direction of the arrow, and driving, and driving.....another sign! This time we read the fine print ...23Km! Tricky these evergreens are, who would put a sign up on a back road 23km away! Well by now the snow is really coming down, it's getting dark and my old Ford is getting thirsty so I have no choice but to turn her around and return to civilization. Empty handed. . My daughter would not allow me to poach one of the many evergreens taunting us from the side of the road as we drove home.
Well the Ford makes it in for refueling just as the needle is starting to bend from hitting the bottom of the gauge. Then as we get close to home we spot an outpost of sorts. Seems this feller was a pro, bagged himself all kinds of Christmas trees, had them lined up and sorted by type and size. Even had some of the more dangerous ones tied up tight so they couldn't escape.
Well, we paid the bounty hunter, got a real purdy tree.
Next year, I go prepared. Maps, supplies, weapons, cider...........or I could just plug in that little fibre optic tree it would be a whole lot cheaper.

Merry Christmas!! or if you prefer... Bah Humbug!

 

I hunt my Christmas tree from upstairs each year. I have it tied up and in a box so it can't escape.

 

I spent many years hunting those firry rascals. They seemed to grow sharper needles every year in their defense against human pillage. As time went on, they even managed to resist all makes of Christmas tree stands, refuseing to stand at attention for the duration.
Now that I am a little wiser, I seek them out in other peoples homes to deposit various sizes of boxes and bags at their feet. So far, they don't seem to know when I'm coming and tend to behave themselves while I'm around.
So, until the next generation of fiesty firs mutates into unmanageable beasts, I'll continue sneeking up on them, gifts in hand, smileing as I leave.
AL.

 

That was a GREAT story! VERY funny!

That's how I do it. But I don't tie it up. It is trained and I trust it.

-Matt

 

Thanks Matt, I suspected that most have, by now, opted for tree from the polyester forest like my little fibre optic wonder.

A friend told me he saw a tree downtown at the Bay or Eatons, you could hardly tell it was artificial but fully decorated lites and all. Just take it out of the box and plug it in. Very beautiful tree...... for $700!!!!

The best trees I've had have been real! and decorated with construction paper chains, popcorn and something made out of spray painted pasta!
And who can forget having a great christmas nap quickly halted when a slight body shift rewards you with a well placed penetration from a pine needle!!

Christmas is for kids, so if my daughter wants a real tree, then daddys gonna get her a real tree even if she is twenty years old.