Last week my 17 year, 11 1/2 month old cousin was killed in a roll over. No drugs or alchol were involved and he wasnt driving. Five guys were just riding down the highway and the driver somehow over corrected and lost control. Kody was thrown from the vehicle and died shortly there after. One of the other kids is still in the hospital in serious condition and the other three will be fine. Only one of the kids was wearing a seatbelt.

His parents have been divorced for about nine years. I have spent the last week by my uncles side every waking moment. Watching his pain is the hardest thing I have ever done. I can be there but there is nothing I can do to ease his pain. I am only five years older than Kody and I grew up with him. All of this has made this the hardest week of my life. I dont see how life could ever be the same again.

Watching my family hurt is so hard, especially my uncle. This was his only child and now it is just him. Any advice about how I can help him would be so greatly appretiated. Just your prayers would mean so much to me and my family.

 

My deepest condolances to you and your uncle.

Just be there for him.

I don't know what to say.

My heart goes out to you and your uncle.

There is nothing worse then to lose ones child.

My prayers go out to you and your uncle and all of your family.

It's going to be difficult.

 

That truly is a tragedy. And I'm sorry for your loss. Ben's right, just be there for each other. You may not know what to say, and to be honest, there isn't much you can say, just showing your support, is often the best you can do. Your uncle's pain is no doubt unimaginable, but don't feel guilty about taking a little time to deal with your own pain. There are going to be lots of you suffering right now, ban together and don't be afraid to show the pain and talk it out, this definately includes the one's that survived.
My entire family's (and that includes the cat's) warmest prayer's are with you, your uncle, and everyone else who's life has been affected by this tragedy. We wish the best for the one in the hospital and hope for a speedy and complete recovery.

 

...a guarantee in this life---and that is that we will all come to our end.
I was a Highway Patrolman and was subsequently disabled in the line of duty from a pursuit wreck. The face of those who died as we attempted to cut them out of old cars are etched on my mind. Back when I served there was no such thing as EMT's. Jaws of Life had not been invented and it was, well it was the Trooper, a axe and one wrecker holding the rear of the vehicle and the other with the hook under the dash and with violent jerks to get the dash off the trapped occupants. I cannot bear to think of the screams and those who clung onto my arms as we did our best to save them and then afterwards the duty to go to the parents house in the middle of the night and knock on the door. Oh the parents would look outside and see the Patrol Car and one of us standing at the door with our hat off. They knew why we had come and to see the horror on their faces was more than I could bear. I am sorry I ever did the job and I wish it would all go away in my mind, but all for naught.
The passing of your loved one, from my perspective is this----Love those who are close to you while you can.
shakerag

 

I don't really have any advice other than the fact that support is critical at a time like this. I commend you for standing by your uncle. You certainly have my sympathy & prayers.

 

Already said a prayer for you and your uncle's family. Like Sierraben said, just being there as a comfort is a bigger deal than you may ever know.

My bro-in-law died at just around that same age. Seeing my in-laws go through it was very painful (my wife and I had only been married around 9 months).

 

Thank you for your concern. After the last week and a half I can almost see a light at the end of the tunnel. Although I realize life will never really be the same and there will always be a hole there, we will all survive. Kody would not want us to lay down and die and I am not going to. My main focus is just making sure my uncle doesnt either. He seems so much better. I know that he will make it I just dont know how long it will take. Now that he has no children, I will stick by him for the rest of my life. Thank you all so much

 

Don't thank us, thank you for sharing.

FTE'ers are here for just that.

Good luck.

Ben

 

Sorry for your loss, it's tragic but you and your family must stay strong and carry on.

My sister and brother in law lost a baby at 33 days old. TORE ME APART, my dad too and in general everyone close and the entire family, but it was a turning point for all of us too.
About all you can do is just be there as a support for your family and each other. It's tough but you'll make it through.

 

I'm at a loss for words...so many good words said here already by some wise and compassionate people.

Remember the good times, and hold them close. That you are there for your uncle is something that I am sure is making a huge difference for him, something he will always remember. And he is there for you as well. Don't forget that.

 

Yep, daughter, many years ago - still hurts.

 

I haven't, but can't even begin to imagine what it would be like.
There would be a great void in life, that's for sure.

All the best and just hang in is about all you can do.

 

gotdiesel:

I understand how you and your uncle feel. I am truly sorry to hear of your loss.

My wife and I have four children. . . now. We have lost two kids.
My kids range in age from 25 to 23 to 14 to 9. The two that we lost were between the 14 year old and the 23 year old.
The first died while in the womb. There was a strong heartbeat at 4 months - at five months, nothing. My wife mis-carried while enroute to the hospital.
What the doctors found was unrecognizable. My wife almost died from the infection.

A couple of years later, we tried again.
The second child was 4 months old when we lost him.

The only way to 'ease the pain' is/was to say, "God takes care of those that aren't perfect."

No words can take away the pain, so, I won't try. It still hurts for us, terribly.

Stay strong for your uncle.

All my best.

Keith

 

I lost my 2 year old sister when I was 5 years old. I held her in my arms just before she passed. My parents and I were tore up for years to come. I still think about her often, and what she would look like now, and what we would be doing. Im an only child now (well...I do have 36 and 34 year old brothers, but they've been living 500 miles away since I was born), and I always wonder what it would be like to have a brother/sister around. All of my other friends have siblings but me....

 

*gotdeisel*,

I can sympathize with you and your Uncle. I lost my only brother(and sibling)when I was only 15, my brother, he was 17.
It was very sudden. In the morning, we left for school together, that afternoon, he was *gone* He died of a heart attack while shotputting in the schools' gymnasium.(ironically, the one thing He loved to do). Hopefully you will be able to help your Uncle get through this. I am not saying it will be easy, because I had to try to get my parents through losing their only son.
Just give your dear Uncle as much Love,understanding and time as you can.

My love, thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

Paulette