Well, my buddy finally did it. Got married Saturday.

And I'll tell you, if you haven't been a best man before, it's a lot of work. I had to thank him again for the job he did for me after realizing just how much work it was that I did for him. In 94 degrees no less. Boy was that church hot. I had the rental car running outside with the AC on immediately after the ceremony.

Try to get a groom on schedule who has left all the minor stuff to the hour before we need to be at the church. Pom poms for the rental car, the rental car, all stuff that could have been handled last week. Well, he wanted a Navigator 2 weeks ago, and was assured there would be one, so that wasn't his fault. We got a Trail Blazer instead. What a gutless wonder.

Coordinating myself, the groom, the groomsman, the MC, and any involved parties or families required at least one more car, or someone who drove stick. And the groom really needs to get with the times and buy a cell phone. At least for that day anyway.

My main priority was get him to the church on time. With his pom pom ordeal, we lost 20 minutes that we somehow had to make up on the highway. Sure enough, flying up the highway, we passed the bride and her bridesmaids. And they did see us. They were like "who's this maniac flying up the left lane? Oh geez that's the groomsmen, Trish duck so he doesn't see you".

His speech was last minute also. My wife and I helped him get one off the internet, but he was out of ink. So, my wife took word for word onto a blank piece of paper, and went to our hotel to type it up again on the business computer. Now, for those who say you can't get a speech off the internet, this speech fit him to a T.

After all the formalities, pictures, dinner, speeches etc. my job still wasn't done. The groom's brother had drank himself out of hand. It took us maybe 2 hours to get him into a cab. Then the bride got all loopy. The maid of honour and myself had to tell the bartender to cut her off. Then we had to make sure she wouldn't get any surrounding half full bottles of beer by dancing with her for the rest of the night.

But being a social event, I did manage to get some mingling done. Chatting with a lawyer friend of the married couple, I got some real estate advice. It has yet to be determined if it's good or bad.

And I finally got to talk with the maid of honour about something that didn't involve babysitting the bride. She's a beautiful woman of 23. So cute you just want to squeeze her. You know? Then she got all loopy on me, I had to get her mom to calm her down. I guess weddings do that to young girls. She was in tears, crying about how she's ready to have babies, and get married, but her boyfriend just doesn't want any of that. But her mom did a good job of settling her down, and we got back to drinking more beer, smoking more cigarettes, and dancing the rest of the night.

What a great party. I even had a "free drink suit" but the bar staff didn't figure it out until about 10. Again, something that could have been figured out last week. But I got an apology from the head bartender, which was good.

You know how you can tell when someone wears too much perfume? I swear someone was wearing Raid. Yes, bug spray. I smelled it inside and outside. I made a comment to one of the grooms attending friends, but he assured me that he wasn't wearing Raid. I know he wasn't. He was wearing too much of something else.

Then, what baffled me the most was after the party was over at 1:30, the bride and groom invited the remaining 15 guests up to the honeymoon suite. The smart ones took off. I guess the rest of us (4) were somehow convinced it was a good idea. But I was up there for maybe 5 minutes tops when the groom and the other groomsman passed out on the king sized bed. The bride looked at the (still standing 3) and said grab a beer out of the fridge. There was only 2. So 2 left to get more beer, and the bride and I had one each. I told her I'd finish my beer and go, but your husband is no good to you passed out, so I'll wait till the other 2 people get back and leave then. I had to get back to my wife. She was sick from sun stroke, and in our hotel room from 9:00. She's okay now though.

Anyway, we had to check out yesterday morning, drop the tuxes off at his house, etc. Apparently they missed us by 10 minutes. But I did talk to him last night, and this morning. Him thanking me for a job well done, I thanked him for a great party. So now, they're off to their honeymoon. They still haven't decided where they're going. My bet is the Oregon Coast. But I'll talk to him next week and let you all know.

Thanks for taking the time to read all this. Sorry it's so long though, but with everything that happened, all the screw ups, I don't think it could have gone any worse. And they're both happy now.

The End

 

WOW. that was wild

but they are happy and it is the best day of anyones life.

I hope mine is more controlled, but can't count on it.

They have my congrats

DT

 

The main thing here is nobody got hurt from driving home from the ceremony afterwards with all the drinking involved. Sounds like your buddy owes you a lot for getting everything organized an getting a lot offf the necessary details taken care off. Sounds like a last minute person like I am. Looks like you did your job man. Well done. Best man is not a easy job. I hope nobody asks me I dont know if Icould hold up

 

i know mines gonna be a blast whenever it finally happens (probably 2-3 years). the guy i got planned for best man loves to have a good time (but safely). its gonna be a killer shindig. all i gotta say, is as soon as the reception is over, i'm outta there.

sounds like you kept your cool through the whole thing. glad ya have fun, congrats to them both. (and you for playin bouncer)

 

Actually, the MC has a nickname that we gave him. "Bouncer." Back when we were, ... about 10 years ago, we're all in a bar, some bouncer is throwing out a drunk. Well, my buddy gets knocked off his stool right by the back door. So he grabs the drunk, and the bouncer by the scruffs of their respective necks, and throws them both out.

I did have help though, getting rid of the guy. The trick was to wait till he calmed down, me, "Bouncer" and Gary the other groomsman brought him upstairs and waited for a cab together.

 

well, its not like there isnt better things for you to be doing afterwards :P

Matt

 

Most men do not know what real happiness is until they get married. Of course it is too late then.
Dono

 

Yeah, Dono I have to agree. If I weren't married, I'd happily go for the maid of honour, or the bride's best friend, or the other bride's maid, or...

 

a friend of mine from college station is gettin married, and a friend of ours is her wedding planner. i asked her if any of the brides maids were free...but, too late now, i'm taken by a killer gal. my buddy and i are gonna enjoy ourselves though.

 

Mine is happening March 11th of 2006 and while it will be fun it won't be near as wild as the one you described.I have been to those though, and the best man in two like that. Only tip I have for some of you guys, while it may seem like a good idea to get hooked up with one of the bridesmaids because you're intoxicated and she's cute and you're having fun together and all, STAY AWAY FROM IT! You're at a wedding and that immediatley adds an entirely differet set of emotions and "public happy person" syndrome!

Please take these words from the birdhunter to heart!

 

ain't no worries there, i love my gal. took me long enough to find one like her. guns, trucks, sittin on the porch. i don't wanna lose this one.

 

Well... I met my wife at her sister's first wedding. Maid of honour, groomsman.

But some better advice is if you're married like me, don't touch the hot property, because everyone else at the wedding knows you're already married. Sure, look all you want, party all you want, but keep your distance. You'd just be asking for trouble, especially after you've done such a good job at everything else.