As almost everybody here knows,I moved down here to get to know my two daughters and that although I have been able to bond with the younger daughter,the older daughter has pretty much regected me and wants nothing to do with me.Well,I just found out that she and her husband had gone out drinking last Sunday and on the way home she hit a telephone pole,killing her husband instantly.She was arrested for intoxicated homicide and may spend years in prison.My heart is breaking for her,and for her husband and his family.He was such a nice guy,he was the one who got me a flight down here over new years,and was trying his best to convince her that I was not the jerk that she had been told I was while she was growing up.Heck,even her mother sat her down and told her that the things she had said were not true and that she had only said them to justify her mistake.But my daughter would not listen.Another sad thing about it is,her stepfather is an axlehole and a control freak,so he has jumped in to take over the situation,so I am not allowed to visit her or even talk to her.I swear,if I could get away with it,I would stomp his smug attitude into the ground.The only good thing about him is that he is rich,and has hired her a real good attorney and a good grief counselor.I want to be there for her so bad I cant think straight.And the saddest part of it is,the way the accident happened.She was in a 35mph zone,and drifted off the side of the road,the right side of the bumper clipped a telephone pole sending the truck back on the road.But he was not wearing his seat belt and the inertia from the impact caused him to go partially out the passengers window,where his head slammed into the pole as it was going by.If he had been wearing his seat belt,he would not have had a scratch on him.The only damage to her truck was a busted headlight and a little damage to the front bumper and fender.Even the cops on the scene said it was a freak accident.So,all I can do is pray for her,and hope I see the stepdad in a dark alley some night.

 

Man that is very sad to hear, I drive after a few beers now n then and it is very freaky to hear of an accident like this, I hope everything goes better for you, and your daughter and her husbands family.

 

That is terrible KT.

IMO, About the only way to get through/to her is with a letter from the heart & follow up with respect & understanding

I have always felt words are one thing but when it comes to real caring,that needs to be shown all the time.
A gift from the heart should beat a cheque anytime.

May your spirit be strong

 

The most important thing is,WEAR THE SEATBELT!I always make sure my children buckle up,and had she grown up in my household,she would have made him put it on before starting the car.As her brothers and sisters were growing up,when we would all jump in the car I would just sit there if I knew one of them had not buckled up.I would not say a word,just sit there.And you know how impatient kids can be.After sitting there for a couple of minutes,they would figure it out and start yelling at the kid that didnt have their seatbelt on.By doing this,it has become a habit for my family to buckle up as soon as they get in.And it has passed on to my daughter in the Air Force.By habit she makes everybody buckle up in her truck before she even starts it.So,I wont sit here and preach about drinking and driving because there is enough info about that already,but PLEASE,PLEASE,BUCKLE UP!

 

I agree Mil1ion,I have sent her multiple e-mails telling her how much I love her and miss her and how I had looked for her for years and that I did not abandon her,that she was taken away from me.but she will not even reply to my e-mails,and has told her mother that she wishes I would stop sending them to her.

P.S. Sorry,I screwed up and used the quote feature instead of the edit feature,guess Im not thinking straight

*taken care of - FL55*

 

I am very sorry to hear, you and yours will be in my prayers. It is just a shame to have any loss of life, no matter how young, or old. I hope you and your daughter can get things straight and settle things. Best of wishes, and good luck. Try to keep your head clear, and stay safe yourself-Aaron.

 

I am very sorry to hear about this, I know how excited you have been about moving there. Not much I can say make anything better other than to say you will be in my prayers and I sure this goes without saying but there are a bunch of people on here that will be glad to talk to you if you want or need it.

 

What a terrible tragedy; I don't know what else to say except my heart goes out to you. It will be a greater tragedy if your daughter doesn't learn something from this: life is too short to disrespect a parent that doesn't deserve it.

I used to work with a salesperson that had a drinking problem. Nice guy, everybody liked him, but he'd get insanely drunk and then get behind the wheel. He drove home one night like this, lost control of the car and hit a stone wall. The car flipped and threw him through the passenger-side window, then the car rolled over top of him, killing him. The police said if he had been wearing his seat belt he would have walked away, as there was no damage to the driver's side of the car. Just another sad example of WHY there are seat belts in your vehicle. BTW, have you ever seen a NASCAR driver get into their car and NOT buckle up? Think about it.

 

So sorry to hear about this KT...sounds like he was a nice guy...just try not to let it get you down..and as far as the step-dad goes...he sounds like a real *****...i really don't know what to say about him...i'm really sorry you're having to go through this...but hopefully you and your daughter will work things out soon...
as for seatbelts i think they are great...but i think it should be up to the person,whether they want to wear them or not...because i wrecked my truck about a year ago...and honestly,if i would have had a seatbelt on,i think it would have killed me..or at least paralyzed me...because i flew forewards (towards the steering wheel)..as the truck rolled over,and the top came down (about 3-4 inches)....and then i flew back and hit my head on the roof after the truck was turning,or had turned back up..and the back of my head was sore...but thats still better than having a broken neck or being killed possibly...i mean..i'm not saying to not wear seatbelts...because 9 times out of 10...they are life savers....but in my case,the seat belt would have hurt me...this is why i think it should be up to the person in the car whether they want to wear a seatbelt or not..

 

KT. . .

I am truly sorry to hear of this loss. My thoughts and prayers include you and your family.

It is most difficult to endure the pain of a child not understanding propaganda, and it is a pain that I have endured since 1984.
My oldest daughter (by my first wife) was fed a bunch of lies and for years thought that I was a complete _ _ _.
It wasn't until she was in college and away from her mother and needed some help that she was able to see what and who her Dad really is.
She and I are really close, now.

Your daughter may 'come around', still. Maintain your diligence.
Just remember, anyone can raise a child. It takes a real man to be a Father and Dad.

In friendship. . . . . .

 

I'm sorry for your loss KT, you and your family are in my prayers. The situation with you and your daughter sounds a lot like my dad and sister. My sister is only 13 now, but she hasn't seen dad in about 1.5 years. My mom has fed her so much crap she doesn't know whats true and whats not. My dad has been trying to keep a relationship by phone, but my mom either screens it and won't answer, picks up and hangs up, or is on the internet so he can't call. And then tells my sister that he doesn't care and all this other bull. Everytime i get a chance to see my sister, I tell her how much he cares, how much he tries and all, she believes me somewhat but then falls back on what my mom says for some reason. It's tough. I was with my dad over christmas and saw his tears of frustration when he couldn't see his daughter over that holiday. It tears me up as well to see my ol' man cry like that. It's rough. You just need to keep trying, she'll hopefully come around one day.

 

Im sorry to hear bout your loss man. As soon as i read your post i got a huge lump in my trhoat, as i have rolled up on accidents like that. Even as a firefighter, and seeing the hysterics of family initially, i just cant imagine what its like. I geuss no one can until it happens. im not a religious person, but i will say a prayer for your family. I hope the all goes well with your daughter and i hope she realizes how much having a caring father means.

 

I think more important than that is to not drink and drive

 

Sorry to hear of this tragedy to add to your plight with your efforts to become re united with this daughter .

I have followed your posts with your move there and did not comment on your personal goals which are commendable to say the least .

I don't know of any advice that could lighten your load at this point only that
maybe the counselling she recieves now for grief will also open another door or two from her past she will deal with .

Good Luck KT and just keep hanging in there for as long as it takes frustrating as it may be .

 

Exactly. Seatbelts are very important, but the drunk driving is the real problem. I lost my best friend a few years back and this is an issue I have zero tolerance for. If it were up to me the first drunk driving conviction would get you 5 years of prison at hard labor. You'd also give up your driving right for 10 years.