Hey guys,
I have no one else to talk to right now, and I just need to.....talk.

I think (99% sure) that Im depressed...and It sucks. I can hide it and be happy around people, but once I get by myself....well....
Just seems like nothing ever ever goes my way, at all.

I have no one I can really talk too.

I havent seen my dad since Christmas

My "real" family doesnt seem to think of me as their grandson/nephew/cousin, just as a person thats there. Ive really grown apart from them and I dont know why.

I cant stand my stepdad, but hes good for my mom so I hide it for her sake.

I cant seem to keep a girlfriend for more than a few weeks, guess they like being treated like dirt? I really dont know. I found one about 3 weeks ago that REALLY likes me, and I really like her. I wish I could say why I really like her...but its just something that I feel and its never happened to me before like this. But shes got a boyfriend. We have been hanging out and shes cheated on him with me (just cuddled and kissed, nothing else). She cant stand her boyfriend but is so scared to break up with him. He treats her like complete dirt and is way into drugs and deals coke. But...theyve been together for 2 years and she loves him. This "us" thing has been really confusing to her cause shes never had these kind of feelings for someone else other than him. She really is a good girl. One of the few 18 yr olds that is still a virgin and is drug free. I think I am going to break it off, cause I cant stand to see her like this, and it seems like if I leave it will be easier for her.

A REALLY close person to me is in Iraq, Fallujah to be exact. Ive got this sick feeling in my stomach about it, and Im scared. I really wish I were there with him....

I realy wanted to enlist when I graduated. But didnt cause I knew if I did without going to college first, Id dissapoint my already dissapointed and distant family.

On top of all that I havent gotten more than 5 hours of good sleep in at least 2 months.

I really feel like crying, but cant seem too. I think its just been way too long since I have....

I dunno.....

 

I don't know if you caught this thread, but please read it- there's some good stuff buried in there.

 

Hey man fill me in on more off your situation. Do you have a job? Where are you living? Things cant be all that bad. Do you have any friends to confide in and just hang out and shoot the bull. I wish I was there we could have a nice talk and may be I could help you out. Believe me Ive been in your situation depressed and feeling down but its not as hopeless as you might thinlk. Youtr young you got your whole life ahead off you.Things are going to look up believe me they will.. Hey Ill be one off you FTE buddies let it out man. Talk to me.

 

Try prayer. It sounds cliche but it works...if you have faith. God has a plan for us all..........it's just not always apparent. Also, don't worry, everyone feels this way ocassionally.

 

Right now I work full time at Jiffy Lube. I plan on going to ROTC during college in the fall. I stopped talkin to most of my friends after I graduated a few months ago, cause I figured out they werent real friends. Im living with my mom, step dad and his kids. He is a strong leftist, we just dont get along. His kids are a completely different story. When they are over, I am not here.

Polarbear,
No, I didnt catch that thread. I will check it out.

 

oh man, that sounds exactly what I went through my junior year of high school. Distanced from everyone, girl problems, work problems, I just gave up. I finally surrounded myself with some of the greatest guys that i have EVER met. Everytime I go home from college I have to stop and see them, they just don't know how much they helped me. I was on the verge of enlisting in the army as a mechanic, I was all but signed, but had a change of heart when I met this girl. She was in a relationship with a psycho. She and I got close, and she wanted to break it off with this guy, I told her that I had her back no matter what. I met this guy, no problems since, and she and I have been dating a year. Kept a 120 mile relatioship going. She'll be moving down here next year, can't wait.

I experienced this feeling again when I first moved down here to Charlotte. I felt disconnected from everyone. I met a few people on campus including this other girl. She hit on me hard, and I let her do it. I felt bad, and knew I had to confront my girlfriend about it. Wow, I think that hit just as low as the first time. I cried myself to sleep every night in both situations. it's by far the worst feeling in the world. I have the best girlfriend and friends in the world. They have pulled me out of both downing situations. I think you are doing the best thing right now in turning to someone to talk. Thats the best first step to pulling yourself out, IMO. Good luck man, we're here for ya.

 

At times we all go thru difficult stages but don`t give up. Stick with us and we can help you thru it. You have alot of friends here, alot of us have been there too.

 

I think you need to consider talking to a professional about this. Believe me, you are not alone in your feelings as many people feel this way. Read my post in Worst relationships... That is just a mere fractional of the bad things I have seen. The only way you get through all this is to set goals and have faith both in yourself and that life will get better. I myself have lost nearly everything I ever worked for and have suffered alot of emotional stress and bad health which I would equate to bad things others have subjected me through. I hate to say this but if she is going to cheat on him for you she will cheat on you for the next guy-- do yourself a favor and think this one out really good. You are young and there will be alot of better chances in life at love. Besides talking to some one professional perhaps you should take time out and find something that you like to do and focus your attention on that. Find out what you really want in life and move towards achieveing it. I believe on what little you have told us you are wanting someone, don't look to hard the right one will come your way. Ten years ago I thought I had the love of my life, money, cars, great times, basically everything. Today I am so far from that and truthfully the only thing I miss is I lost my financial stability for my future( that becosme very imprtant when you age)- other than I am glad I am the same person I am just minus those things that everyone says you need to make yourself happy. I still have faith that I will overcome and it is alot harder at my age believe me. You are young and just starting life. You will have so many opportunties to achieve what you want. I would really consider talking to your family or professional help about your want not to go to school and prefer to join the service. Atleast try and see a doctor about your sleeping habits, lack of sleep places a human in a whole different mindset. Tomorrow begin your day by thinking what you really want in life and how can you get there, stay away from all the things that disapoint you, and try and seek some legitimate help. Never in any of your post did you mention that you have done anything bad -- remember that. Sometimes the people around us place us in situations and unhappiness- Not us.

 

wezol I know exactly how you feel. The only family I talk to is my brother on msn and every week or two my mom stops by to say hi and little else. I havnt seen my father in 12 years or talked to him in 8 months (long story) My step father is an idiot but they have been together for 9 years and get along good, his youngest kid is 5 years older than me and they are all losers. I'm convinced that ALL women are Evil! My best friend from HS slept with my ex GF(while we were together) and theres nobody else I ever knew that I have any desire to speak to except for a childhood buddy who droppes by every now and then to have a beer and shoot the s**t. I'm in debt, my PT job gets me just enough to pay rent and if i'm lucky buy a little food and my hours just got cut back AGAIN! Did I mention that my fish died and my cat hates me?

Just remember that life goes on and it probabally couldnt get any worse than it already is. Try to think positively (I know its hard when your depressed) and smile, even a forced smile will make you happier. Try to keep yourself busy the worst thing you can do is sit there and think about how lousey things are. If there is anybody in your life that makes you think negatively or treats you negatively get rid of them (all my high school friends) you are better off without them in your life.

The most important thing to do is decide that you dont want to be unhappy anymore, when you wake up in the morning tell yourself 'self, you are gonna be a happy sob today if it kills ya!' Keep a positive attitude and dont let the petty things get to you. If you just take it one day at a time you will survive.

Keep On Keepin On!

 

wezol5484,
Been there, That empty feeling you have is letting you know you need to find something to define purpose in your life and to do what will make wezol5484 happy. If enlisting in the military is what you wanted to do, go for it. Everyone in your family should be proud that you want to serve your country, will it really matter in the end if you goto college before or after you enlist? Family is who and what you and they make of it.

 

Well, last night before I went to bed, I tried thinking about what I really wanted to make me happy. The only thing was to get out of here and enlist. In the end though, it would make my family dissapointed, expecially my dad. I guess the reason the would be is that they only went to college for 2 years and said it was hard to get to where they are now. I guess they want me to go 4 years so I dont have to have it as hard, but it would be just as hard as not enlisting. No one in my imediate family has been in the service, so they dont know how I feel. It makes it even harder.
I also was thinking last night about when my family started becomming distant, it was when I became dead set on joining up. There not for this war, and they dont know "why in the hell" would you want to do something like that.
As for the girl....I really dont know. I have these feelings for her that I cant describe, and that Ive never had for another girl. The thing that scares me is that Ive only known her for about 3 weeks. She says people at school are telling her to break up with her boyfriend and follow her heart, which she said is to me. But...shes scared to break his heart, so she wont break up with him. Shes just confused and scared. I cant stand to see her like that, so I think I might just break it off.....
I always feel better at work...Id rather be there than anywhere else right now. I think I might call in and see if I would be able to work today.

 

You know what your a very caring guy. You care about other peoples problems before youre. Tell your girlfriend what your saying to me here. She sounds like a very special person for you. She will have to make her own mind up on who shes going to choose. Dont just break up with her on account off her other boyfriend. She definitly has a liking for you. Hey dont let your family tell not to do this or that. What do you want to do. Thatsthe key. Make up your mind and do it. And do the best job you can at it. When you dont have your family backing you its tuff. My Dads always supported me when I made up my mind to do something and talkedwith him about it. Hey man dont let anybody tell you you cant do this or cant do that. Baloney you can put your mind to do anyhting you want and do it the best you can. I was eighteen once.Its a transition age. Its tough but you will get thriough it.

 

I have seen these scenario from young people so much in the past 40 years. It is , as already stated , not that uncommon. When growing up, all young people have to make decisions as to what they want to do with their lives. Life stands still for no one, it will move on, with you or without you. The key to it all is just to NOT get enveloped in the thought that, WHERE you are now, is everlasting....

Try not to be angry with your parents about wanting to enlist right now. The worst experience in a parents life is to outlive their children, I am sure yours is no different . If they have the financial means to help you get back in school , that would be a good alternative for you. Buckling down to books to assure a life long rewarding career , will keep you occupied enough and will be the very foundation that your whole life will be sitting on....

As to girls, forget about them. If you dont have one pregnant at this time, your classified a free man. Get the education, get the career, get the job, then get the girl for your life time . In that order preferably. Date them as a non -commital item until you secure your future. They will come and go thru your life like oil changes. ...


As to family isolating you, I am 52 years old, and thru my own selfish acts , I have suceeded in doing the the same thing. At just age 26 ,after my divorce from my adulterous new bride of only 2 years , I went in to a 12 year self isolation, pity mode. I turned away from my family as to not "endure" the pity of being the brokenhearted divorced family member. After years of turning away from invites and family gatherings, yes, they will just quit calling...

It happens, your the only one that can become the ruler of your own destiny. If you want your family back, just remember they love you, and that the bond of family is NOT a lifelong guaranteed one. A family relationship has to be worked at and nutured , just like any other human relationship . They are just withdrawing their emotions right now, not their love from you, probaly as kind of a self protection device I would guess . But that love CAN be severed , if abused, or if let go of too long . Family is blood, they will be there for you in a heart beat to help or support you , but you have to leave the door open to them... good luck to you, and be safe

 

Great post Greg 79. Wezol he sure hit the nail on the head on some great thoughts. Very good advice.

 

Find something that you can put your mind and heart into. Easier said than done. What are you going to school for, it sound like you enjoy the automotive work so are you doing this in school? This could be something that you enjoy that you could put yourself into.

As for the girl, it sounds like you really care for her. Personally, make her make a choice. Discuss it with her and tell her that she needs to decide between him or you and until she decides you can't be the third wheel. Support her in the decision but don't push her either way, make it her choice. If she does stay with him, be happy for her for making her own choice. There are plenty of women out there.

Is there any local service or charity that you can help out at. It may seem a little selfish and off, but I know I found that when you help out those that need the help and appreciate what you are doing, it tends to help out you more than it helps them and put things back into perspective. Alot of people are allot worse off and yet they are the some of the most amazing people out there.

If you think enlisting is the thing you really want to do, do it. The way I see it is if others really care about you they will support the decision regardless if they agree with it or not. Either way you have my support and by the posts here the support of everyone on FTE.