30 years last June. I've enjoyed reading this thread - thanks!

I believe that your spouse becomes what you believe they are. Positive or negative.
Self-esteem, accomplishments, confidence, etc is a direct reflection of the people we live with. Marriage is a partnership - we either build each other up or tear each other down (or neutrally just subsist and slowly erode). Whatever you've got is what you've given.

My wife is still my girlfriend.

 

Of all the married couples I know, (probably in the neighbourhood of 50) only 2 sets of couples are on their second marriage. One lasted less than a year, the other maybe 25 years and 3 kids. All the other couples are still good and strong.

I've been married for ... will be 13 months in 2 days. And it is work. Sometimes hard work, sometimes easy. But work none the less. And respect goes a long way. Nagging doesn't. Ha ha. But, being together for 6 1/2 years before getting married, we figured out a lot of stuff without having the pressure to "make it work".

Why did we wait so long, you ask? Money, timing, etc. We would have been married at the 3 year point, but it would have looked like a "race" with my cousin who was getting married around that time. And while I was in school, we didn't have much money. Bla bla bla. As it turns out, the cousin that we would have been "racing" told me to just go ahead and do it. There will never be a good time or enough money to get married. Things just work out themselves. So we did. And aside from the wedding photos, (wife doesn't like them) everything turned out perfect.

 

Was at the bank today and the guy next to me was telling the clerk that he had his wedding rings for sale. After six months of marrage he came home early and found his wife in bed with some body else. He got her ring back and kicked her butt out.

 

Sounds like someone doesn't have a very good grasp of commitment to thier partner... . Very Sad! It's an ugly web we weave when we practice to decieve... .
--Ken

 

22 years here and still going strong, she is my best friend and we love to do everything together. We have 3 beautiful daughters and looking forward to what comes next.
Jim

 

This is a great thread. Reading this has reminded me that marriage is a wonderful institution.

I've spent 11 1/2 years in an institution, with no chance of getting out!

 

I know what you mean. My wife won't let us go to bed mad until SHE feels better. Man I have stayed up half the night talking.....many times. I can't walk out or stay quiet she will get even madder. She wants me to talk and sometimes (I have not learned my lesson) and I stay quiet and try to take the abuse and boy does she blow up. Anyway she calms down the next day but that is what makes a good marriage. Going through the rough times and not being stubburn and pig headed and walking out because you can't take it or her.

 

My wife is truely awesome. She has put up with so many things that have gone wrong with me, that I would have walked away from along time ago. It all started after we got married.

My appendix burst, emergency surgery. Age 22
Blew my back out at work. Off work for 3 years, 2 of which were retraining. Age 30
Colan ruptured. Colosomey bag for 3 months. Age 33
Tonsuils (SP) out. Age 39
Car wreck requireing 2 neck surgeries. May 21st 2002, age 40 march 29 2004 age 42 and still not back at work and can't go back to what I was doing.

I think she should have throwned me away along time ago. But she still keeps me around. I think for laughs. I have a scar that runs from the middle of my chest to my groin. I have thought about going and getting a tattoo of a zipper on it.

A funny thing with the colon though. With our two kids, I only changed 2 dipers. One one each. I could not take the smell. This goes to prove that God has a sense of humor. I had that colosomey bag for 3 months. I tell you what. When you pass gas, it all comes up the front. No getting away from it. My wife even had to help me change the bag for the first month. I would soak a t-shirt in aftershave and wrap it around my face. I tried the cloths pin on the nose, cotton up the nose. She would laugh so hard she had tears. But I learned how to do it. And you learn quickly what not to eat.

I love my wife so much and pray that she never gets a rid of me. I can't donate my body parts because they either weren't mine to start with or they have been repaired so many times that the warrenty has expired.

Tom

 

LOL! Well that explains it! That's got to be the most common and most undiagnosed malady of the female gender!