1. Only in Canada......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in Canada......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in Canada......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in Canada.....do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in Canada......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in Canada......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in Canada......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in Canada......do we buy hot dogs in packages of twelve and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in Canada.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in Canada......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

You know you're from Canada when ...
1. You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
2. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
3. The mosquitoes have landing lights.
4. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
5. You have 10 favorite recipes for moose meat.
6. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
7. You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.
8. You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
9. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
10. You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
11. You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
12. The local paper covers national and international headlines on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
13. At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
14. The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
15. Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.
16. You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.
17. You head south to go to your cottage.
18. You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
19. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
20. The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo it's sausage making.
21. You find -40C a little chilly.
22. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
23. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your Sorrels.
24. You can play road hockey on skates.
25. You know 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.
26. The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
27. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
28. You perk up when you hear the theme from "Hockey Night in Canada".
29. You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Canadian friends






Dennis

"Please Don't Ask Me Any Tough Questions As I'm Saving My memory For When I Develop Alzheimer's"

1978 F-150 429CJ 4v,C6 Silver w/explorer package
1968 Mustang 289-2v Sunlit Gold 80,892 miles
1964 1/2 Mustang 260,Pre-World's Fair Car.
1964-Fairlane 500 S/C
Soon to be with a 390-4 spd.

 

well not exactly, how bout only in North America, I've seen all that right here!

 

I have to agree with Cowboy on that.

 

DITO for MICHIGAN

 

Daggum Canadians , We Americans were disfunctional first!! ya bunch a copycats...

 

OK Mil1ion, you convinced me: Our countries should merge. We seem to be in agreement on the important stuff -- everything else is just details.

I'll have my people call your people; we'll do lunch.

 

Speaking of Michigan,
You must be from Michigan if.......
You define summer as three months of bad sledding.
You think Alkaline batteries were named for a Tiger outfielder.
Your idea of a seven-course meal is a six pack and a bucket of smelt.
Owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your home town.
You know how to play (and pronounce) Euchre.
The Big Mac is something you drive across.
You belive that "down south" means Toledo.
You bake with soda and drink pop.
You drive 86 on the highway and pass on the right.
Your little league baseball game was snowed out.
You learned how to drive a boat before you learned how to ride a bike.
You know how to pronounce "Mackinac".
The word "thunb" has a geographical rather than anatomical significance.
You have experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.
You expect Vernor's when you order ginger ale.
You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but that it's not that far from Hell.
Your favorite holidays are Christmas, Thanksgiving, the opening of deer season, and Devils Night.
Your snowmobile, lawn mower, and fishing boat all have big block Ford engines.
At least one person in your family disowns you for the week of the Michigan/Michigan State football game.
Traveling coast to coast means driving from Port Huron to Muskegon.
Half the change in your pocket is Canadian,eh.
You show people where you grew up by pointing to a spot on your right hand.

 

 

bump.

This was one of my favourite threads

 

Crap!! 95% of those apply to Minnesotans.

 

Same can be said for northern Wisconsin.

 

You guys in the border states must be cross breeding. That was very good Dennis.

 

I'm with ya man!

Edit: I found one I got a while ago.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM RURAL MINNESOTA WHEN...

1. You never meet any celebrities except The "BODY".

2 . Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a
tractor on the highway.

3. "Vacation" means going to the Twin Cities.

4. You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were
popular in Twin Cities.

5. You measure distance in hours.

6. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.

7. Your classes were canceled because of cold.

8. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

9. You use a down comforter in the summer.

10. Your grandparents drive at 70 miles per hour through 13
feet of snow and raging blizzard - without flinching.

11. You plan your financial future around bingo.

12. You see people wear hunting clothes at social events.

13. You install security lights on your house and garage and
leave both unlocked.

14. You think of the major four food groups as deer meat,
beer, fish and saskatoons.

15. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend
knows how to use them.

16. There are always 4 empty cars running in the parking lot
at the beer store at any given time.

17. You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.

18. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a
snowsuit.

19. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are
filled with snow.

20. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

21. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas

22. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

23. You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still
Winter, and Road Construction.

24. It takes 3 hours to go to the mall for one item even when
you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in
town.

 

Comparing notes is quite comical.

 

I grew up in upstate NY so I can relate to all of those. I even know what Sorrels are!--Jack