Scenerio for you
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Senior User
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 364
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Scenerio for you
In my high school english class we had to write a paper about anything we wanted. This was the scenerio that I came up with and wanted to see how you guys might react in such a situation.
Your BEST friend gets into an accident that kills one of your siblings. How would you react towards them? Do you think you could ever forgive them? Would you stay their friend?
How might this be different if your friend was drunk at the time?
I know this is making you think, but just wanted to share with you all. Thanks
Your BEST friend gets into an accident that kills one of your siblings. How would you react towards them? Do you think you could ever forgive them? Would you stay their friend?
How might this be different if your friend was drunk at the time?
I know this is making you think, but just wanted to share with you all. Thanks
Elder User
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 867
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From: Fairbanks, Alaska
Well for me it isn't so much would I forgive the friend, but how easy would it be to forgive them.
And that would depend on the circumstances surrounding the accident. If he were drunk and at fault, it would be tougher than if someone else was at fault and they just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time
But in any case I would forgive him. No matter what the circumstances, I'm sure the friend would feel terrible and have a tough time forgiving themselves. Whether we stayed friends or not...who knows. As Mil1ion pointed out, friends come and go in life anyway and this would definitely be a test of ones friendship.
And that would depend on the circumstances surrounding the accident. If he were drunk and at fault, it would be tougher than if someone else was at fault and they just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time
But in any case I would forgive him. No matter what the circumstances, I'm sure the friend would feel terrible and have a tough time forgiving themselves. Whether we stayed friends or not...who knows. As Mil1ion pointed out, friends come and go in life anyway and this would definitely be a test of ones friendship.
Junior User
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 69
Likes: 0
From: IL
You have to forgive the person just to keep your sanity. Can't go through life carrying a grudge over something that's done & over with.
Staying freinds is optional but the forgiveness has to be there or you'll turn into some kind of psychotic lunatic.
Staying freinds is optional but the forgiveness has to be there or you'll turn into some kind of psychotic lunatic.
Elder User
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 758
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From: Northern PA
Accidents happen. It would be tough to carry that hate around with you for the rest of your life. That kind of bitterness is more damaging to the person carrying it. Forgiveness comes with time.
If he was drunk...............all bets are off. I'd want to see him hang, and I'd probably be glad to tie the knot myself.
If he was drunk...............all bets are off. I'd want to see him hang, and I'd probably be glad to tie the knot myself.
Senior User
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 184
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From: Central Washington
Depends on which sibling it was.. j/k
I've had one childhood friend die in a drunk driving accident that was someone else's fault, so I doubt I'd forgive anyone who killed a sibling in the same manner.
I've had one childhood friend die in a drunk driving accident that was someone else's fault, so I doubt I'd forgive anyone who killed a sibling in the same manner.
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Fleet Mechanic
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,448
Likes: 2
From: CA Central Coast
Originally Posted by AeroPA
Accidents happen. It would be tough to carry that hate around with you for the rest of your life. That kind of bitterness is more damaging to the person carrying it. Forgiveness comes with time.
If he was drunk...............all bets are off. I'd want to see him hang, and I'd probably be glad to tie the knot myself.
If he was drunk...............all bets are off. I'd want to see him hang, and I'd probably be glad to tie the knot myself.
IMO: Saying "I forgive you" doesn't mean you saying "I don't hold you accountable". It means "I'm not going to let this rule me."
You can support penalties against a perpetrator, continue to grieve over your loss...and still forgive. Forgivness gives you power over the situation and the perp; whereas holding grudges, hate, and vengeful thinking all ultimately keep you a prisoner of the perptrator and his actions. Too many times, revenge turns one into a person more like the perp.
Without forgiveness, even if you "tie the knot" of execution, you'll still not necessarily be rid of the anger and darkness. Again, saying "I forgive you" doesn't mean you saying "I don't hold you accountable". It means "I'm not going to let this rule me."
It's not an easy philosophy...but it's the one that makes you free.
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Elder User
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 631
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From: P-Town, CA
What happens if the roles were reversed. Say a sibling was driving drunk and nailed your best friend, killing him.
What would you do there?
For me, that would be one hell of a situation. I love my siblings, but they would definatly know better than to do anything that stupid.
What would you do there?
For me, that would be one hell of a situation. I love my siblings, but they would definatly know better than to do anything that stupid.
Elder User
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 758
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From: Northern PA
'96, I agree. We'd hope our siblings should know better, but one never knows. I'd have a hard time with it.
If it was one of my siblings, I'd still expect them to face the music. It's no more excusable for them than it is for anyone else. Stupid is stupid, no matter who it is. Ultimately, we really don't have any control over some else's actions.
For that matter, we have enough trouble controlling our own actions sometimes.
If it was one of my siblings, I'd still expect them to face the music. It's no more excusable for them than it is for anyone else. Stupid is stupid, no matter who it is. Ultimately, we really don't have any control over some else's actions.
For that matter, we have enough trouble controlling our own actions sometimes.
Lead Driver
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 8,140
Likes: 4
From: Oak Harbor, OH
Okay, First of all, NEVER harbor a grudge. You never know when you might be on the flip side. If it was an accident, and there was nothing that could be done to prevent it, then the best thing THE BOTH of you could do is be there for eachother. Friends are often even closer than familty, keep that in mind. If it was intentional, shoot the *******.
Elder User
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 723
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From: Lolo Montana
It would be hard to say. There are so many "IF's" to be had. Whether it be a car accident, shooting, or even floating the river. I think each situation would be a different reaction. If the driver was drunk, why did your sibling get into the car with them in the first place? I don't think that I would put them on my Christmas list. I worry about this each and every time my two kids go out with their friends. Who's going to be driving, how many people, where are you going, when will you be home, and on and on. I sound like my dad. Damn, he really did care.
Always love them while you have them before one of you is taken away.
Tom
Always love them while you have them before one of you is taken away.
Tom
