about three weeks ago my girlfriend that i have been going out with for about 8 months broke up with me and two days later she got back with her ex. he was over in iraq and he came back. that is when they got back together. which really angered me. i just loved that girl so much and wouldn't ever hurt her. i treated her like she was a queen and some night she comes over to my house crying because they were fighting or he angered her. whinch in turn that really angers me. but to see her do that to me it really stinks. so for the last 3 weeks i have just been praying that i could get her back. and everytime i think i will get her back something else happens. tomarrow he leaves to go back and everyone says that she will crawl back to me. i dont really know but i dont know if i should take her back or not. i mean the last four or five days i have cried so much because i miss her. so what do you guys think what should i do.

Edited for language - WheelMA1

 

This may seem a little harsh, especially since your feeling a little vulnerable, but the best advice is to walk away. She obviously didnt like you as much as you liked her, or she wouldnt have ran back to her ex. Chances are you may have been temporary company while he was away. A harsh reality, but your definately not the first guy this has happened to. It sucks. I know, and probably every other guy here as well. I dont know how old you are, but you are probably a young fella, and I can only say this: Walk away. Dont waste your time chasing and pining. This is just one of those things that happens. Your heart will probably be broken again. The silver lining is that someday when you do meet your future wife, you will realize how great it is to meet the woman you will spend the rest of your life with, and that all the heartbreak you went through was a good learning experience in life and love. Until then, dont look back, look forward, and dont be too hard on yourself. Lots of other fish in the sea.

-Matt

 

Matt has a really good point, I've been in the same situation. Best to just let her go, because when you find that one, and you will, you will know it and it will be way better than now.

 

yeah i agree and i do feel like she was using me but i do love her so much and it is just really hard to say good bye even though she did that to me.

 

Been there, done that, have many, many t-shirts. Sorry to hear of it buddy, it does suck. BUT, it sounds like you have your integrity intact, and that's the key here. Your integrity to yourself!

You treated her well, she uses you. It's really quite simple, once you look past the emotions (and soft skin, etc)...and trust me, the hurt will fade in time. Always does. Ask yourself, "How will I see this a year or two from now?" (Especially if you go back. Yuck).

Will your integrity feel sound if you stay with someone who mistreats you? Doubtful. And there's no need to make her a villain, she's probably just a weak person, who needs to grow up. It's simply about what kind of person YOU are, and what kind of person you want to be involved with. Love can come in many shapes and sizes, and most certainly from more than one woman (at a time).

Erik's Hard Learned Axiom #15: Don't waste your time with people (especially lovers) who "have a lot of potential". Spend it with those who are realizing their potential.

So say a smiling goodbye, and go find that woman with integrity who at this moment is dealing with the same cr*p you are...she and many others are out there, wondering where you are and why you are messing with someone who doesn't treat you right.

But you won't find a good one if you keeping messing with people who don't measure up.

"Fool me once, shame on you...
Fool me twice, shame on me."

Best, Erik

 

You don't want her back...She is a cheater, game player, a one upper, and a user. You might not see that becuase your attached. She is using you to occupy her time unitl she gets what she wants - which isn't you as she proved or she wouldn't have dumped you to return to him. Now she is free, guess she can return and feel your head full of but, but, but. Simply she is no good or she wouldn't have done that to you in the first place.. You deserve better than her-- don't fall for the scam.. WHy don't you ask your friends what they think of the ordeal and what they would do? Believe me, there is alot of spouses out there-- don't settle for someone that your only good enough for when someone else isn't around. SHe will cheat on you her whole life, and most likely dump you for someone she deems better anyways. You wouldn't even be posting on this forum - If you truely believe in her. I will tell you somehting I learned in the private eye business about cheating spouses- "IF you think they are - then they are". In otherwise, if you have a gut feeling that things are wrong - they are. DOn't subject yourself to her hell- go on with your life and leave her in the dust. Believe me in your life you will have alot of people that you love, think you love, want to love, it has to be two sided- she apprently thinbgk it is a life switch that you flip on and off depending on the moment - that is not love that is using someone.

 

Ditch her man, there is someone better out there for you. Set them sights a little higher. That's a bad break, but ya win some ya lose some

Edited for language - WheelMA1

 

yeah you are all right and i really want to thank you all because you did teach a thing or two thanks

 

> and everyone says that she will crawl back to me

I think the word you are looking for is slither.

I bet her EX does not know he is her EX either. Without knowing more of the details it sounds like you were dumped in a hurry for that reason.

This is exactly the type of person you get AIDs from that does not want an empty bed. If you think she is not cheating on you while you are together, then what can I say. Except make her get an AIDS test before you kiss her.

imo, It is very hard to take at the time, but, whenever someone walks out the door for someone else, it has been over for a while and you just did not know it and there is nothing to gain by hanging on.

Don't go mentioning anything to him or his friends either. If he is in Iraq he does not need that kind of grief and distraction. Just let it go and move on. You deserve better.

 

Double ditto. Nothing but grief from a gal like that. I went through that a couple of times. The anger and hurt that comes from it are there for a reason. They act as constant reminders to clear and qualify the future units, and to be grateful when you do find a keeper.

Good luck and find something else to get your mind off it and get you away from the scene of the crime. DO NOT allow this person to use you again.

 

Lots of good advice here, a woman that spends time with you while waiting for someone else is doing just that, spending time. Unfortunately the time she is spending is yours, time that you could be spending yourself on someone who deserves it. As the Moody Blues said "22000 days" give or take. Spend it wisely.
Good luck.

 

Just remember,women are like street cars or buses, just wait a little while and another will be along.

 

yep, only i ususally get hit by them or they just speed past me. havn't had one stop in awhile.

 

Okay, everyone here is right. Its action.....but thats not the secret to life.

That said......me, I've been thru the same scenario.....but without the war aspect. Heres what I did a time or two or more....and its no secret.
This worked for me....but its a touchy plan best left for the most experianced of jerks. I dont recommend it...for devils advocate sake, here goes.
Ride it out......make the best of the times you have. Treat her with the same disrespect. Have nice evenings in.....find another woman for nice evenings out.
I have found that many women are more attracted to someone who already has a 'friend'. Once you find the right one...you can loose the wrong one.
I suggest thinking twice before making those plans with a girl whose significant other is carrying a rifle overseas.

 

Don't let any woman make a fool of you, she had her chance. As hard as it may seem, I'd let her go and never look back.