i got lucky with most of my internet women but when i moved in with my g/f i couldn't warm them up over the phone like i used to so i'm faithful now

 

Worst one really sucked, I had been dating this girl clear through HS, and she had been through alot(her dads hired hand raped her) and I really boosted her self esteem(it was obvious) and it was a made pair. Well, things went sour in the early part of my freshman year in college, but it was just for a short while, we had gotton back together, kinda, and things seemed to be going good. In the meantime she had found all of these "friends" since she had left me, well not a single one (other than her rommate) was a girl. Well, it snowed and she drove a mustang(she WAS a keeper) and I had my little 4x4 95 shortbox, and she wanted me to take her to school the next day. It was college night at the bar and I just had to go party with her friends(every wannabe cowboy/***** in the school) and so we got our "party supplies" I mixed, (so I would know how much she had) and we went to this party, and she said she was going to spend the night at my house so I could take her to school, you get the picture. Well we go to this "party" and I get bad vibes from the getgo. Well we finish our drinks and are playing cards. Well she started smoking when she drinks. Well she kept trying to out for smokes with this guy and I was getting wise so I was going out with them, even though I don't smoke. Well it rolls around 12, when everyone goes to the bar, well the excuse was, we are playing cards and having fun, lets just stay here. So I thought WTF, the night sucks already. Well, after 2 when the bar closes I asked her if she was ready to go home, and the excuse was, well, lets see who comes back from the bar to party, well, I knew what was going on so the night was wasted so I thought you sorry ________, you are gonna eat this, so I just hung out and kept trying to get her to leave. Well at around 5-ish the guy whos house we were at(who she kept going to smoke with) said, I'm gonna head to bed, I'll see you two later. I turned to her and asked her if she was going to go and acting drunk(no way she could have been) said that she was going to stay the night there. Well I was just a little bit lit, and beyond ****ed off and it took everything I had to keep from dismantling that whole damn house, but I did pretty good until I went to shut the door, and I slammed the door so hard that pictures and plates were falling off the walls. Probably the worst night of my life, having her for so long and then doing that, and leading me on throughtout the whole thing. I didn't even remember getting home I was so mad. I guess it could be worse, and I'm still young.

 

Yeah, you got a long way to go, and it will get worse before it gets better.

 

Thanks, things feel alot better after that first initial cut turns into a scar, makes things alot easier. Too bad I stayed at home to be with her instead of going to play college football, I was soooo smart.

 

Worst date I ever had was a 'blind' date, set up by a supposed friend of mine.. I was about 30 at the time, in the service, and not ugly. (that came later) so I was used to good looking female company. The lady I met that night was not good looking. She was somewhat worse than ugly, with a temper to match the looks. Picture a halloween witch, and make it look worse, and you have Linda. Not only was she the ugliest person I had ever met, (looks are not everything) but she was also the least hygenic - the smell coming from her is usually experienced under bridges in major cities, where the homeless drunks live.. Talk about unpleasant. She swore every second word, chewed tobacco, and drank way too much beer. The only reason I stayed was that I really do not like to upset folk, so I stuck it out. I escorted her home, and made a successful argument against first date intimacy, escaping with the merest brush of the lips..

The next day, my supposed friend told me Linda was over the moon about the 'hunk' she dated, and couldn't wait until I called, and made another date. That same day, Israel attacked something, and I got shipped over to keep the peace.. Talk about lucky. Fortunately, I have not seen Linda Grearley since.....

 

Great story Theo, as usual.

 

I've been on a few bad dates, but the details are too racy for FTE. This one here, was actually bad for the couple who set me up.

Back in 1988, I had just ended a 2 year relationship (entirely my fault) with an awesome woman and was a bit depressed about it. Rather than “get back on the horse”, I buried myself in my day job and side projects. One of the freelance projects was the design and G.C. of an addition for our office manager’s home. Joann, the office manager, picked up that I was down in the dumps and set out to find me the “perfect girl”. At 300lbs plus, she was the type of person who was compelled to fix the lives of everyone around her while ignoring that her own life was a train wreck wrapped in a potential heart attack. I blew off all of her suggested companions. The addition was done and I had to get together with Joann and her equally fat husband, Nick, at their house to discuss the job completion punch list (so I could get paid). They were so pleased with the work, the offered to buy me dinner before hand. I suspected it would be another set up by Joann and I was right. Sitting at the table with her and her husband, was an attractive young lady in a conservative, but well fitting black dress. She had ice blue eyes, sandy blonde hair, and a pretty smile . . .and was my cousin Cammy!

A bit of history needed here. Cammy is my Mom’s younger sister’s second daughter. She and I were 2 years apart. Because our mothers were close and that she lived only a few miles from us, our families were together more often than apart. She and I were more like siblings than cousins. She was a CPA in the same company as Joann’s husband. (For those that need a visual, she looks almost exactly like the actress, Ally Walker who was in the movie, “Universal Soldier”.)

Back to the story. We made eye contact and for a few seconds, but did nothing, then Cammy winked at me. After introductions, we made small talk and where wherever possible, Cammy or I would shoot a barb to indicate that there was absolutely no chemistry brewing. Stuff like, she made fun of my tie being ugly, I commented about her hooker nails. She asked where I got my $2 haircut, I joked about her living in Revere, MA (You can take the girl out of Revere, but you can’t take the gum out of her mouth). Joann getting nervous, asked her husband to escort her to the ladies room, leaving Cammy and I at the table alone. We hatched a plan to have a little fun at our host’s expense. When the two got back to the table, Cammy sat back, folded her arms and said, “Do you believe this jerk, he actually EXPECTS to get some action tonight!?!” Joann’s mouth dropped open. I elbowed Nick’s side, and in a guy to guy manner, added, “Why not eh? With a body like that, she looks like she’d toss a good one!” Cammy shot back, “What the hell is that supposed to mean, you a___hole?” People around us started to stare. Nick tried to quiet her down, but Cammy stood, pointed and loudly repeated her question. Laughing at her, I gave her the up and down look and said, “Let me put it this way honey, I bet you’ve shined plenty of back seats.” Joann was shaking. Cammy let out a snarl and launched her glass of wine in my face. By now, we had the attention of the entire restaurant. I stood and returned fire with a glass of water. Cammy acted perfectly, called me a bunch of names woven with a string of profanity then cussed out the next table for staring. She stormed out of the restaurant, but not before slapping me so hard my glasses flew off. I quietly retrieved them and told Joann & Nick I’d meet them at the house later.

Cammy and I had agreed to meet inside the T stop around the corner where we laughed like mental cases. Later when I showed up at Joann’s place to do the punch list, I brought Cammy with me and we explained the whole thing.

 

That was AWESOME! EXCELLENT story! (reputation points for you!)

-Matt

 

If you gonna play, you gonna PAY!!!!!!

 

Hmm, I've had some bad ones, I'm trying to think of one of the worst, and somewhat appropriate for the boards...

OK... Going back.. Lets see, I was 21, maybe bordering 22. Met this girl at work. Quite the attractive girl, nice body, cute, funny, we really hit it off. We go out one night to a movie, where there was a little activity. We head out of there, and head to a bar someone in her family owned. Not that I'm a small guy by any means, but, when there's 5 large proctective guys circling you in an irish bar locally notorius for barfights, you start to wonder if you'd made a mistake planning the evening.

So, after a few beers, a few games of pool, a while BS'n with the relatives, who finally cooled down, and actually seemed to like me at that point, we were getting ready to head out, closing time.
Now, she lived in the opposite direction from me, so when a guy that was introduced as her cousin offered to give her a ride home, we both thought that was a good idea. I get a kiss goodnight, and told that she really enjoyed it, and wanted to get together another time, but she'd rather come to my area, and stay the night... hmm, that could work....

The next day, I find out that the "cousin" is (ok, see if I can get this right) her mother's 2nd ex-husband's oldest son (no blood relation, I guess). Turns out, they spent the night together.. Not hearsay, from her mouth. She apologized to me for the whole thing, and said she "never should have gone with him, it was not right."
A week later, she quits the job, and I get a call from her a week after that. Turns out, she's deeply in love with her not-so-much-brother, and they're getting married, as soon as he can get a job, which is tough for him, since he just got out of prison!!!!!!

Asked if I wanted to get together sometime. Uhhh, nope.


The other worst one I can remember was the "setup"... Friend tells me someone she works with is interested. OK. Not too good lookin', but she seems nice, I'll go out with her, give her a chance. End of the date, she goes to kiss me, and says (no, I'm not lyin here, this is too good to make up...), "I've never kissed a guy before."
My answer "You're what, 25 (she was a year or 2 older than me), and you've never kissed anyone?"
"Well, I've never kissed a GUY, I've always dated girls. You're the first guy I've ever gone out with."

Now, something about this whole scene didn't set right with me, so I just excused myself, and later declined the option to try again. I find out later, she wasn't lying, that she'd never dated a guy before, and was just "curious"...
Had she only been better looking, I could have put myself into a situation to tell my perverted friends and grandkids about, but, she was not worth the effort, as I said, her looks were not what got me in the situation, she just seemed like a nice girl... Needless to say, I became very selective after that about who I'd date. Didn't help, but I tried.

 

You do have dain bramage No pun intended. Just messin with ya

 

Weymouth, that's HILARIOUS. What a great story! Man, I wish something like that would happen to me...

 

LOL! man these stories just made my day. i gotta say theres some definate dating advice coming from this

i have to say ive never had anything as bad and funny as these but i will continue to read everything that gets posted here twice.



especially love the one from Weymouth, and the one with the brother who dropped off the "date" and hauled butt leaving the makeout spot! too good!

Dave

 

I've never denied that.

 

Tell you what, get the moderator to lower the restrictions on topics of adult nature and I'll share the one about the night I learned about girls with "alternative lifestyles".