500th post joke
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From: Rosebud
500th post joke
It seems to be tradition so here's one for you guy's. The other day a friend of mine,who's a game worden came by and said he was trapping some black bears and relocating them,and could I give him a hand? Sure I say and we get in his flatbed that has a big metal box on back and head for the woods.When we get there he gets a rifle out of the truck and hands it to me,then opens the metal box and lets out the biggest dog I have ever seen.The dog takes off into the woods on the trail of a bear and my friend says to me, "Thats a trained Russian Bear dog,and he'll tree the bear,then when we get there,I'll climb up the tree and shake the bear out,when it hits the ground, the dog is trained to bite him by the nads and lead him back to the truck and into the cage." That sounds fine,but whats the rifle for? I say. Well,he says,if something happens and I get knocked out of the tree,you shoot that freaking dog!!!
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Reminds me of catching Polar Bears... The way you do it is they cut a large whole in the ice and line the edge with a row of frozen peas. When a polar bear comes along to take a pea.... you kick 'em in the ice hole!
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From: just outside of Phila.
First of all, if I were a polar bear, and I saw peas, and a guy in a parka, I'm going after the guy A) because it's meat and B) because all you did was leave me peas, frozen at that.
Otherwise, you can do all of the polar bear hunting for us, I'm gonna stick to wrestling with our puppy.
I do live in West Philly, and there is a polar bear about 5 miles from my house...maybe I'll take him some peas and see what he does.
Otherwise, you can do all of the polar bear hunting for us, I'm gonna stick to wrestling with our puppy.
I do live in West Philly, and there is a polar bear about 5 miles from my house...maybe I'll take him some peas and see what he does.
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From: Perkasie, Pa.
A 90 year old man is at his doctor's for a check up, The old man is bragging to the doctor....."well Doc what do you think about this, I'm 90 years old, I have an 18 year old wife who is pregnant with my child and I feel great! What do you think about that?"
The doctor sits quietly for a moment, then says...." I have a good friend who is about that age and he goes hunting every year. Never misses a season! This last year he was at his cabin and was in a hurry to get an early start. But in the darkness he grabbed his umbrella instead of his rifle. When he gets down by a nearby creek he spots a beaver by the bank. He raises the umbrella and goes BANG! BANG!
The beaver drops dead. What do you think about that?"
The old man replies "I think some one else shot the beaver!"
The doctor says "Thats eactly what I think".
The doctor sits quietly for a moment, then says...." I have a good friend who is about that age and he goes hunting every year. Never misses a season! This last year he was at his cabin and was in a hurry to get an early start. But in the darkness he grabbed his umbrella instead of his rifle. When he gets down by a nearby creek he spots a beaver by the bank. He raises the umbrella and goes BANG! BANG!
The beaver drops dead. What do you think about that?"
The old man replies "I think some one else shot the beaver!"
The doctor says "Thats eactly what I think".
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