I think becoming a man is an "evolution" of sorts. An on-going process. It's in the decisions you make. Not one decision, but all of them. They all contribute to where you are now.

I thought I had it all figured out when I was 18, but as they say, grass is always greener on the other side... Dropped out of college, went to work. One of my jobs, I ran into a guy who looked like he had a REALLY bad day, and I was pretty much on the same track. So I made a change. And more change.

Here I am now, married, house, 2 new vehicles in the driveway, a dog, RV, sure. You can say I'm responsible. I'll be 29 on Saturday. You can say I'm a man. I say "Where did all the time go? I still feel like I'm 20!"

 

When do you become a man? My favorite poem says it best, I think. I hope this helps and all enjoy it:

"If" - by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!


Ryan

 

Don't ever regret anything... Life is too short and precious. Live below your means, pay cash for everything, enjoy friends and family and be honest. Help others in any way you can. You will be able to sleep at night. Life is not the destination but the journey.

 

Don't worry about what you're going to regret later, just do what makes you happy now. Seems to me that you've got a pretty good grip on life.
And don't let the fact that you aren't out partying every night fool you into thinking you're missing out on something, partying every night isn't for everybody, and certainly doesn't leave you any better off down the road (trust me, I've done more than my fair share).

 

Thanks for the replies everyone. I never doubt that I will get sound advice here. Great poem Ryan. I know that you're all right, there are many common truths in the the things that everyone said. We all have moments of doubt . . . I'm forever grateful to you all for helping me with my own.

 

Someone posted a thread a week or two ago that stated that the young people today had it too easy growing up and "were wimps". At one time I would have agreed with that statement. In the last 3 yrs my opinion has been vastly changed. You and the men and woman of your generation have made us (me) proud of the way you have responded to the attack on our country and our freedom. The really remarkable thing is that each and every one of you are volunteers! THANK YOU! If I was 25 yrs younger I like to think I would be right there with you but since I'm not my thanks moral support and prayers are all I have to give.

 

> Am I going to be 35 years old and bitter at the world for not having my wild 20's?

I would hope not, drinking, partying, and having martial relations outside of marriage is just something that destroys and empties you over time and you have no way to go back and undo the terrible things you have done.

It is better to live correctly when you have a choice then when you have no choice. Your wife and child are beautiful gifts, rejoice in being blessed and being able to enjoy them.

There are hundreds to thousands coming back from Iraq that at the most will only have the ability to go to the bathroom by themselves and to hobble along with a walker. Forget a family life.

When you have had a man blind and deformed from birth that has gone through life unloved tell you in anguish how he wished just for once in his life he could have been with a women or have someone love him, including his parents, then you will realize you have no problems and having a wild time is an empty pursuit after the wind and vanity.