CHINESE SICK LEAVE "I NO COME WORK TODAY!!!"



Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey boss I no come work today, I

really sick. I got headache, stomachache and my legs hurt, I no come work."

The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel

like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. That make everything

better and I go work. You try that."

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "Boss, I do what you say and I feel

great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."

 

haha
Very good. To bad he doesn't have a job now

 

Is that all you have to say, Andy? At least he feels better.
Another laugh - real headlines:
1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
4. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
5. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
6. Farmer Bill Dies in House
7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
8. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
9. Stud Tires Out
10. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
11. Panda Mating Fails; Vet Takes Over
12. Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
13. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
14. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
15. Eye Drops off Shelf
16. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
17. Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
18. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
19. Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
20. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Axe
21. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
22. Miners Refuse to Work After Death
23. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
24. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
25. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
26. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
27. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
28. Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One
29. Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in '84
30. War Dims Hope for Peace
31. If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
32. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
33. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
34. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
35. Deer Kill 17,000
36. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
37. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
38. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
39. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
40. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
41. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
42. Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
43. British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
44. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
45. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
46. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
47. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
48. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
49. Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
50. Air Head Fired
51. Steals Clock, Faces Time
52. Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
53. Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
54. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
55. Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
56. Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
57. Include your Children when Baking Cookies

 

Corporate Holocaust

Annoucements about Mergers.

mergers we can expect to see:

Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush,
and W.R. Grace Company merge to become Hale Mary Fuller
Grace.

Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers
merge to become Polly-Warner-Cracker.

3M and Goodyear merge to become MMMGood.

John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become Deere Abi.

Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota
Mining merge to become Zip Audi Do Da.

Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become Honey I'm
Home.

Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to
become Mine All Mine.

Federal Express and UPS merge to become FED UP.

Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge and begin manufacturing
reproductive organs.

Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will merge
and become Fairwell Honeychild.

3M, J.C. Penney and the Canadian Opera Company will merge
and become 3 Penney Opera.

Knott's Berry Farm & National Organization of Women will
merge and become Knott NOW!

 

Mad Cows getting even......... Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Axe

 

Those a really good guys